


It's Enough to Drive You Mad, Isn't It?

by Patriceavril



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Letters, Light Angst, Marijuana, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 69,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29687112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patriceavril/pseuds/Patriceavril
Summary: She hesitated, her eyes darting to the ground but not quite disguising the glint of earnest hope. “Although, you know how last year I said I would send you back a Howler if you wrote me any letters?” He grinned and nodded, so she continued. “Well, I realized that’s probably a bit dramatic, so if you wanted to write me a letter this summer, you could.” She looked up at him, and he couldn’t tell if it was just the bright light of the platform, or his own skewed perception, but he could swear she was blushing. “I mean, I’d still go ahead with the Howler idea, except I don’t want to horrify your poor mother.”Thirteen letters exchanged between Lily Evans and James Potter during the summer of 1977.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	1. Have a Good Summer, Potter

**Author's Note:**

> Endless thanks to cleverbrainer for providing excellent musical inspiration and helping me work through whatever random plot points or unimportant details my brain got hung up on.

June 1977

  
  


The familiar chaos of reunited families and hooting owls washed over James and Lily as they left the Hogwarts Express and stepped out onto the platform. James scanned the crowd for his parents, but failed to spot them in the crowd of parents and students milling about.

“How are you going to get through an entire summer without me, Evans?” He ran a hand through his hair and grinned, realizing with a pang that this was the last time for several months he would be able to witness the expression of irritation mingled with a grudging affection that this gesture always provoked. The way she rolled those green eyes, the slight furrow in her brow, the tug at the corner of her lips that threatened to become a smile despite her best efforts: he would miss this during the long, hot days spent playing Quidditch and lounging in the pool, and on the summer nights full of firewhisky and drunken bonding with Sirius and raiding the kitchen for snacks at 2 am. 

“Oh, I don’t know if I’ll make it,” she replied. “I’ll be pining for your silly hair and incredible Quidditch prowess, counting down the days until September 1st. How could I ever survive two months without dodging a Quaffle while I try to read or navigating around a pillow fort you built in the common room?” She smiled, and James sensed that these things didn’t annoy her nearly as much as they used to, although he told himself this might just be wishful thinking.

“I can make a special trip to your house if you like,” he suggested. “I could do some impressive Quidditch moves, throw a Quaffle at your head, build a fortress out of every pillow in Cokeworth-”

“That won’t be necessary,” she cut in, laughing. “I’ll find a way to manage on my own. Although,” she hesitated, her eyes darting to the ground but not quite disguising the glint of earnest hope, “you know how last year I said I would send you back a Howler if you wrote me any letters?” He grinned and nodded, so she continued. “Well, I realized that’s probably a bit dramatic, so if you wanted to write me a letter this summer, you could.” She looked up at him, and he couldn’t tell if it was just the bright light of the platform, or his own skewed perception, but he could swear she was blushing. “I mean, I’d still go ahead with the Howler idea, except I don’t want to horrify your poor mother.”

“All right,” he replied, trying to keep his tone casual despite the overwhelming desire to jump up and down and punch his fist into the air. “I suppose I could do that. Thanks for thinking of my mum, although she’s used to having me and Sirius around, so she’s more accustomed to explosions and shouting than the average mother.” He glanced behind them, only just now realizing that Sirius and Mary hadn’t followed. “Think they’re still in the compartment, having a secret romantic goodbye?”

“Yeah, probably.” A sly, knowing smile spread across her face. “Make sure you include any juicy details you find out in your letters, all right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, as long as you do the same.” The word  _ letters  _ stood out to him - the plural held possibilities. His mind began spinning out scenarios: sprawling out on his bed with a long letter unrolled in front of him; staying up late into the night writing a reply, scratching out sentences and rewording phrases; waiting by the window for the next letter to arrive, and tearing into it to devour the bits of news and inside jokes and tantalizing hints of what was to come. But he was getting ahead of himself, and he forced himself to focus on the present. 

“Have a good summer, Potter,” she said, and she hesitated, as if considering the proper way to say goodbye. His mind leaped immediately, impossibly to a kiss, before settling instead on a hug, and he could almost feel her arms around him and her thin frame pressed against him as the scent of her hair filled his nostrils, but she went with a handshake instead. As she grasped his hand and pumped it up and down with mock-seriousness, the amusement on her face almost made up for the missed opportunity, and James committed this moment to memory as she released his hand and smiled at him. 

“You too,” he said, setting off across the platform to jostle his way to his parents. He could feel himself smiling that wide, hopeful smile that he knew made him look like a bloody idiot, but he didn’t care, because Lily Evans wanted him to write to her this summer.


	2. Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

_ Dear Potter, _

_ It’s only been a day but I’m already pining for you, you obnoxious git. Just kidding, I’m bored and woke up early and decided to write a letter before I take my dog for a walk. I enjoyed our conversation on the platform yesterday, even though I’m not quite satisfied with how it ended. _

She stared down at the parchment, perplexed by the appearance of the last phrase. She had not even consciously thought those words, and yet her hand had gone ahead and scrawled them on the parchment without her brain instructing it to do so. She crumpled the letter into a ball and tossed it into the bin by her desk, then retrieved it and set fire to the parchment for good measure.

She took out a fresh piece of parchment and dipped her quill into the ink, but after staring at the blank page for several minutes she sighed and set down her quill. Maybe it was too soon to write a letter. Would being the one to make contact first make her appear too eager? She pulled on some clothes and clipped a leash to her old labrador’s collar after rousing him from his favorite lounging spot on the braided rug in the living room, hoping getting outside and walking around a bit would banish the strange feeling that had hung over her since saying goodbye to James Potter yesterday.

As she let the dog lead the way down the steps and along the road, the sun warmed her face and a light breeze stirred the little pieces of hair that had pulled free from her ponytail. It felt a bit strange being back in Cokeworth, because even though she loved her parents and enjoyed being back, Hogwarts was her true home now. Still, the summer had a sense of possibility; the stretch of days seemed to hint at future memories to look back fondly on, and funny stories that prompt hysterical laughter with every retelling, and mistakes to forget and move on from with a smile and a shrug. This summer seemed like a milestone, a turning point, because at this same time next year her mind would be focused on an adult job and finding a place to live and figuring out how to spend the rest of her life instead of planning overnights with Mary and agonizing over writing a letter to James.

Despite her best intentions to put James Potter out of her mind, his hazel eyes and untidy hair and goofy smile kept creeping back in as she ambled through the neighborhood. As she waved to several neighbors and paused as her dog sniffed at an interesting bush, she imagined what he might be doing at this moment: running, maybe? She pictured him dressed in running shorts and trainers (he was shirtless but she didn’t allow herself to pin too much significance on this detail of the daydream), jogging around the sprawling grounds that surrounded his house. Or knowing James he would have finished his run ages ago, and was now eating breakfast with his elbows resting on the table, paging through some Quidditch magazine or chatting with his parents while he waited for Sirius to wake up and join him for whatever mishaps they had planned for the day. She smiled at this thought, then tugged on the leash and said, “Come on, Duncan!” when she realized her dog had been sniffing the same plant for ages while she stood there, daydreaming like an idiot. She blinked several times to clear her head and set off in the direction of her house, shaking her head at her silly behavior.

“Lil, that you?” her mother called when she stepped through the door and hung Duncan’s leash on a hook on the wall, then slipped off her trainers and wandered into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Lily said as she selected an apple from the fruit bowl and sat down at the kitchen table to eat it. 

“It’s so nice to have you back, love,” her mother said, joining Lily at the table and unwrapping a granola bar. “Duncan’s missed you. We hardly ever walk him these days, it’s horrible.” They both glanced down at the yellow lab now curled by their feet under the table. He thumped his tail and looked up at them. 

“Yes, he looks terribly deprived,” Lily said, reaching down to pet his head. 

“Oh, a letter came for you while you were out,” her mother said, jumping up and hurrying to the kitchen counter to retrieve an envelope. “I love it when you get mail. The owls are so cute! I’ve never seen this one before, it was kind of brown with big, round eyes…” She laughed. “I’m not describing it very well, am I?”

In spite of the vague description, Lily could picture the exact owl her mother had seen, because she recognized the loopy, narrow handwriting on the envelope, and even if she hadn’t, addressing it to “Miss Lily Agatha Evans, Prefect, Future Head Girl, and Grass Flavored Bertie Botts Enthusiast” was a dead giveaway.

“She’s a barn owl, Mum,” she said as she tore open the envelope and unfolded the parchment. She forced herself to take a bite of apple and peruse the letter leisurely, even though all she wanted to do was devour every sentence, then go back and reread it so she could savor his words. 

“Oh, of course! I think I knew that, actually.” Her mother chewed her granola bar and watched Lily scan the letter. “Who’s it from?”

Lily looked up and thought she detected a hint of a sly smile on her mother’s face. “It’s from James Potter,” she said, and continued to read. If her mother wanted more information she was going to have to dig for it.

“James Potter?” she persisted. “ _ The  _ James Potter? The James Potter you spent all of last summer complaining about?” Her tone sounded curious, but there was also a teasing note. 

Lily sighed and glanced up again. “Yes, _the_ James Potter. We’ve, well, I suppose we’ve become friends.” She returned to the letter, determined to ignore the interest her answer had sparked in her mother’s eyes. When she finished reading, she folded the letter and slid into her pocket, then pushed back her chair and stood. “I know we used to hate each other, but we’re friends now, and since we have all the same classes and hang around with the same group of people and have mutual interests, I think it’s perfectly normal to exchange letters over the summer. There’s nothing out of the ordinary about that, so there’s no need to look at me like that, Mum.” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows defiantly, but her mother merely shrugged.   
“All right, then,” she replied. “Would you like some tea?”

  
  
  
  


_ Dear Evans, _

_ All right, I know we haven’t even been home a day and it seems a bit eager to be writing you a letter already, but Sirius has disappeared to the kitchen for snacks, and he’s been gone ages and I’ve gotten bored, so I decided to cure my boredom by annoying you. I bet you thought you’d get a break from that this summer, but no such luck, sorry about that. _

_ I hope you had a good first day back with your parents. My parents didn’t stop hugging us for a good five minutes, which was fairly adorable but also inconvenient because we were sort of in everyone’s way. Then they spent most of the evening trying to convince Sirius to stay with us for the summer instead of getting his own place, but they eventually gave in when they realized he has his mind made up. I guess he’s already found a few flats that look promising, so we’re going to go into London in the next couple of days to look at them. I’ll be sad not to have him here every day, but it’ll be a laugh going into London all the time.  _

“Prongs, what are you doing?”

Startled, James dropped the quill and looked up to see Sirius placing a plate of sandwiches on the scuffed coffee table before flopping down on the sofa and dangling his legs over its arm. “You took forever, so I got bored and started a letter to Evans,” he replied, then snatched the parchment out of reach as Sirius made a grab for it. After a brief scuffle, Sirius held the now crumpled letter up to his face as his eyes darted across the page.

“Boring! Nothing even remotely dirty,” Sirius said, throwing the letter onto the table and sprawling back out on the couch. 

“Not everyone’s mind is as dirty as yours,” James retorted, sitting down in the armchair across from Sirius and taking a sandwich from the plate. 

“Rubbish.” Sirius reached for a sandwich and ate half of it in one bite. “Your mind is just as dirty as mine, if not dirtier,” he said, waving around his sandwich for emphasis. “You’re just better at not blurting out every perverted idea that pops into your head.” He crammed the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and chewed for a moment before continuing, “Although you know who’s the king of that?”

“Moony,” James answered. “Merlin, you’re right. Dirtiest mind of all of us, I’d say, but ask any of the teachers and they all think he’s a perfect angel.”

“He’s a true inspiration to us all,” Sirius agreed. “Damn, I miss Moony.”

“Me too.” James set down his sandwich and picked up a Quaffle that rested by his feet, then began tossing it from hand to hand. 

“I don’t like not being able to annoy him whenever the mood strikes, you know?” Sirius rested his head in his hand and sighed.

“No, me neither,” James said. He widened his eyes and tossed the Quaffle at Sirius. “Want to get drunk and write him an obnoxious letter?”

Sirius’s hand shot out and scooped up the Quaffle before sending it sailing back to James. “Yeah, I think that’s a good plan.” 

James caught the Quaffle and tossed it onto his bed while Sirius went to dig in his trunk for the firewhisky. He set aside the letter to Lily, smiling to himself at the thought of coming back to it later, then pulled a deck of Exploding Snap cards from a drawer in his bedside table and sat down to deal them out.

“Okay, okay, I think we should write Moony’s letter now,” Sirius said after several rounds of Exploding Snap and countless sips from the bottle of fireswhisky. He set down his cards and took another sip before picking up the parchment they had shoved aside to make room for the cards. His eyes lit up as he realized he held not a blank sheet of parchment, but James’s unfinished letter to Lily.

“I don’t like that look,” James said, instantly suspicious. “What’ve you got?”

“Your boring letter to Evans that we’re going to spice up a bit,” Sirius replied, picking up a quill and reaching across the table to dip it into the ink. “Hmm, how does this sound:  _ Evans, I want to show you the correct way to grip my broom handle and then-”  _ He stopped speaking mid-sentence when James tackled him onto the floor, knocking over the pot of ink and splattering it all over their clothes, the couch, and the rug.

“Bloody hell, Prongs, look what you’ve done,” Sirius said, once they both had their laughter under control.

“Look what I’ve done?” James repeated, wiping ink from his glasses. “This is your fault for trying to write suggestive comments in my letter to Evans!”

Sirius pulled his wand from his pocket and attempted to siphon the ink from his t-shirt. “How is proper Quidditch technique suggestive, Prongs?” He shook his head primly. “Honestly, you’re the one who’s always banging on about how important it is to have proper grip-”

“Which I normally follow with a smirk and an immature little chuckle because it sounds like I’m talking about my fucking knob-”

“And that’s not all,” Sirius continued, talking over James. “I was also going to talk about polishing your broom handle!”

“That’s even worse!” James pointed his wand at the carpet and managed to remove some of the ink, then turned his attention to the couch. “You are not allowed to make suggestions for any of my letters to Evans from now on.” He looked down at his shirt, then decided it wasn’t worth the effort and stripped it off, tossing it onto the floor and replacing it with another one.

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when Evans dies of boredom reading your letters.” He surveyed the couch and nodded in approval. “You know, we’re normally shit at magic when we’re drunk, but I think we did a pretty good cleanup job.” He took another sip of firewhisky and offered it to James. “All right, let’s write our letter to Moony. Wait, let’s send him a Howler!”

James laughed. “Somehow I don’t think he’d appreciate a Howler.” He examined the armchair for spilled ink but deemed it safe and sat down, then reached for the bottle of firewhisky and took a sip. 

“No, not a proper Howler, just a Howler of us talking to him, so it’ll be bloody loud, but not as loud as a regular Howler because we won’t be yelling, you know?” He sunk down onto the couch and took another large gulp from the bottle. 

“Does a Howler work if you’re not shouting?” James mused, then laughed. “I guess that’s a dumb question, right? There’s no reason it wouldn’t.” He picked up his wand, then looked at it in amusement and set it down again. “Will you do it? I’m not sure I remember how.” The only time they had sent a Howler was two years ago when the Chudley Cannons had replaced their best player, and Sirius had fumed for two days until James suggested giving the team manager a piece of his mind might make him feel better. In fact, it had.

“Yeah, all right.” Sirius tapped the parchment and muttered an incantation, then held his wand up for them to speak into.

“Do we just start, then?” James asked, rising and coming around to join Sirius on the couch to make it easier.

“I think so,” Sirius said, shrugging.

“Right, well, hello, Moony, it’s us, Prongs and Padfoot,” James began, feeling rather foolish. “Padfoot missed being able to annoy you whenever we want to, so we decided to send you a letter. We would’ve started sooner, except Padfoot made me spill an entire bottle of ink because he was trying to write broom handle innuendos into my letter to Evans.” He looked at Sirius. “Go ahead, you say something.”

Sirius swallowed a mouthful of firewhisky and grinned, then opened his mouth and inexplicably began to sing, “Hello darkness my old friend.”

James gaped at him and they both started giggling. “I’ve come to talk with you again,” James continued, managing to contain his laughter, and then somehow they had stopped laughing and were singing the entire song. By the time they sang the last line, they looked at each other and burst into laughter again, leaning against each other and clapping each other on the back. 

Finally Sirius regained his composure enough to say, “Well, Moony, I hope you enjoyed the song, and you’ll have to excuse Prongs for getting half the words wrong.”

“Moony’s too good of a friend to hold it against me,” James replied. “Bye, Moony, we miss you, and we’ll see you soon!” He looked at Sirius. “What do we do to end it?”

Sirius tapped the parchment again and repeated the incantation. “I think that does it?” He peered down at the parchment and nodded. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, see?” The parchment was folding itself, and a red envelope was forming around it. Sirius hastily scrawled Remus’s address and set the envelope down on the table, looking pleased with himself. “Well, I’d say that was a success. Shall we do one for Evans, then?”

The next morning James woke up early and padded across the room, locating the two letters among the scattered cigarette butts, Exploding Snap cards, and crumpled bits of parchment that covered the coffee table. He re-read the letter for Lily and realized with a start that he’d never gotten around to finishing it, so he knelt on the floor and plucked up the quill that lay next to Sirius’s pack of cigarettes, dipping it into the ink and grinning as the words flowed onto the parchment. Before he knew it, he’d filled the entire page and half of the back. He paused for a moment to flex his cramped hand, then began to bring the letter to a close.

_ You should count yourself lucky, because last night Sirius and I got drunk and ended up doing a Howler of us singing The Sound of Silence that I’m about to send off to Remus, and Sirius nearly convinced me to send one to you as well. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my letter, and I look forward to hearing back from you (unless you don’t want to write back, which is all right, I suppose, but I recommend doing so, because if we strike up a regular correspondence I can keep you updated on all of the drunken shenanigans Sirius and I get up to, so at least you’ll have a guaranteed laugh every couple of days).  _

_ Talk to you soon, _

_ Potter _

When he stood he noticed with amusement that the cleanup job they had been so impressed with last night left something to be desired. They had removed the largest ink spills, but one of the couch cushions was still spattered with large black splotches, and a large smear stood out against the wood floor. James looked down at his feet and realized his big toe was covered in ink and had likely been the cause of the ink smudged across the floor. Laughing softly, he checked to ensure he wasn’t still tracking ink everywhere before heading downstairs to send off the letters. Somehow, last night’s events seemed like a very appropriate start to the summer.


	3. Is He Still in Love with You?

_Dear Potter,_

_I very much enjoyed your letter, although I’m glad you didn’t go through with your Howler idea. Having heard the two of you sing on several occasions, I think you did me, my parents, and our neighbors a kindness by saving that particular brand of torture for Remus._

_Being back at home’s been a bit dull so far, but it’s nice to spend time with my parents. You’d like them a lot, I think. My mum’s a lot like me, except it takes a lot more to make her angry, so she does a lot less shouting at people. We love watching this absolutely horrendous Muggle television show together. We both pretend it’s silly and we’re only watching it to make fun of it, but secretly we both can’t get enough of it. My dad’s even more laid back, which is a result of living in a household with three females and learning that it’s easier to go along than to try to argue and have your head bitten off. His greatest joys in life are taking long drives in the car and telling bad jokes (here’s the latest: How many apples grow on a tree? All of them! Sorry, I know it's awful). My parents begged Petunia to take a few days off from her dull job and even duller boyfriend so she could come home and spend time with the family, but so far she’s completely ignored me except for when she picks fights about nothing..._

Lily lay stretched out on a lounge chair, enjoying the warmth of the sun as she paged through the day’s issue of _The Daily Prophet_. She wore sunglasses and a huge floppy sun hat, and although she could imagine James teasing her for it, she was grateful for the protection from the blinding sun. She had slathered on sunscreen, and she smelled the faint scent of coconut on her skin as she turned the page. She sighed and slid down a little further in her chair, letting her eyes drift shut for a moment. She could feel her chest burning, and she knew she really should apply more sunscreen, but that seemed like a lot of effort, so she just relaxed and listened to the sound of an argument two houses down mingling with a pop song blasting from the next door neighbor’s radio. 

“You really shouldn’t be sitting out here in broad daylight reading that sort of newspaper.” 

Lily opened her eyes to see Petunia’s scowling face. Her arms were crossed over her bony chest, and she stared down at the newspaper like she was looking at something obscene and disgusting. Her thin lips were pressed together so tightly that they almost disappeared.

“What sort of newspaper, exactly?” Lily asked, sitting up in her chair and meeting her sister’s gaze defiantly. 

Petunia’s glare intensified. “You know perfectly well what sort I mean. Your sort. What if one of the neighbors sees?” She jabbed a finger at a photograph of the Minister of Magic waving his hands as he gave an impassioned speech. “It’s not normal.” She spat out the last word, eying Lily as if to emphasize her complete failure to achieve normalcy. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a bloody wall blocking me from view. Even if there wasn’t, nobody can see from that far away. Don’t be so paranoid.” Lily turned a page and settled back into her seat. “Don’t worry, I won’t read my freak newspaper in front of your bloody boyfriend. Although it would be good to have something to entertain me, since talking to him is more dull than watching paint dry.”

Petunia’s eyes widened in indignation. “You’re just jealous that you don’t have a boyfriend,” she snapped. “Unless you’re seeing some weirdo from your school.” 

For a wild moment James Potter’s face flashed into Lily’s mind, but she pushed this thought aside and met her sister’s gaze. Petunia’s expression was one of scorn and disdain, but Lily sensed an underlying curiosity.

“If I am, it’s none of your business,” she said primly. Let her sister speculate if she wanted to. “Now if you’re done having a go at me for no particular reason, would you mind moving? You’re blocking my sun.”

When the sun began to go down and the air got chillier, Lily peeled herself from the chair and went back inside to put on some clothes and apply aloe to her slight sunburn, then poured herself a glass of water and sat down at the kitchen table to drink it.

“Fancy taking a ride?” She glanced up to see her father standing by the kitchen counter, dangling the car keys from his fingers and beaming at her. “I’ll let you drive.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I really shouldn’t be driving without a license,” she pointed out as she hopped out of her seat and accepted the keys from him.

“But you’re a good driver,” he said with a shrug before heading out to their old station wagon parked in the driveway. “Better than a lot of the people who are legally allowed to drive.” He got into the passenger’s side and waited for her to take the driver’s seat before adding, “That includes your sister, by the way.”

Lily grinned and started up the car, then backed out of the driveway and steered through the narrow street. Driving calmed her, and the two of them sat in companionable silence as they passed rows and rows of identical brick houses. As she turned down Spinner’s End, she felt a slight pang as Snape’s house came into view. She thought she caught a glimpse of him glaring at her from an upstairs window, but they drove past before she could be sure.

“How did your exams go?” her dad asked, breaking the silence as they pulled onto the road that bordered the trash-strewn bank of the murky river. “How did Transfiguration turn out? I know you must’ve done brilliantly on the one for Potions, you always do. I’m surprised they haven’t asked you to teach that class yet.”

Lily took her eyes off the road for a moment to glance over at her father. His face shone with pride, and she felt a rush of affection for this man who worked long, grueling hours in a factory to pay for her spell books and potions ingredients and endless Butterbeers and Bertie Botts and Honeydukes bars. Her life at Hogwarts was so alien to him, and yet he listened attentively when she talked about her classes and asked pointed, detailed questions. He wasn’t just being polite, he was genuinely interested.

“The exams were all right, I suppose. Potions was fine, and Charms, although I’m not confident about the Transfiguration exam at all.”

He laughed. “Rubbish. I bet you got the highest score in your year.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “That’ll be James Potter. Or Sirius Black.” A memory flashed into her mind: furiously studying in the common room while James and Sirius played Exploding Snap. _You already know this stuff, Evans,_ James had assured her before throwing down a card and causing an explosion that singed the bottom of her hair. _Quit panicking._

“James Potter?” Her father turned to look at her. “That’s the one you don’t like, the one you think is an, er, ‘arrogant toe rag’?”

“He’s not so bad these days,” she replied, grinning. “Still not what I would call modest, but he’s definitely grown up a bit.” She hesitated. “He helped me study for the Transfiguration exam, actually.” _Come on, I’ll quiz you,_ he’d said, after finishing a third game of Exploding Snap while Lily threw down her book in disgust, ready to scream. He had spent hours going over the material with her; eventually Mary, Peter, and Remus joined them as well, and Sirius went to the kitchen to get them all snacks because he claimed studying gave him a headache.

Her father nodded approvingly. “He sounds all right, then.” He glanced sideways at her and grinned. “He still in love with you?”

She shot him a reproachful look. “We’re just friends, Dad.”

He laughed. “That’s not what I asked.”

“Well, that’s the answer you’re getting,” she retorted, grinning and pulling onto a side road to turn around and head back towards the house.

They returned home to find Lily’s mother leaning against the back of a chair watching television while a pot of pasta simmered on the stove. Lily’s father retreated to the front steps to smoke a cigarette while Lily joined her mother in the living room.

“What’ve I missed?” she asked, gesturing at the small screen, which showed a busty brunette crying dramatically while a well-muscled man walked away, then turned and ran back to wrap her in a tight embrace.

“Loads,” her mother replied. “These two broke off their engagement. They recently reconciled, but she just found out he’s been having an affair with her sister.”

“No!” Lily whipped around to face her mother. “You’re kidding! But her sister’s hated him ever since they were in that car accident together.”

She shrugged. “Apparently his soulful brown eyes make up for him driving off a bridge with her in the passenger’s seat.”

“Anyone back from the dead? Long lost brothers returned?” 

“Oh, yeah, Donna’s back. Apparently she only faked her death to get out of all that business with Ricky, but wouldn’t you know it, they slept together last night. And Rupert’s got a twin who turned up from God knows where, but he seems to be up to something dodgy.”

Lily nodded. “Is Harriet still drinking?”

Her mother’s eyes widened as she nodded. “Oh, yes, but she and her daughter just had it out about it. If she doesn’t quit, I don’t think there’s any salvaging their relationship.”

“Why do we watch this rubbish?” she asked, grinning. “It’s completely stupid.”  
“Lily Evans, don’t talk about our favorite program that way. We watch it because it makes us feel better about our own lives. Now, pay close attention while I go check on that pasta.” 

Lily settled down into the armchair, curling her legs under her. She loved the blissful numbing effect of watching television, the feeling of zoning out and not having to employ any intelligent thought or effort. She heard her father’s footsteps as he reentered the house, bringing with him a whiff of cigarette smoke, and she listened to the indistinct hum of her parents’ conversation in the kitchen. Sitting here, with the aroma of spaghetti wafting through the small space as the exaggerated exclamations of the characters on television reached her ears, she felt isolated and protected from everything going on in the magical world. How could this safe, familiar, ordinary little house exist in the same universe as the shadowy, sinister group that abhorred everything she stood for? Her mind circled back to an unsettling _Daily Prophet_ article she had read earlier, and for a moment the cozy security of her home fell away and she was just as exposed and anxious as ever. She took a deep breath to steady herself, then forced her mind to focus on the sound of her father’s laughter floating in from the kitchen. Tonight she was not going to let herself worry. Tonight she was going to eat pasta and watch trashy television and dodge personal questions from her parents. 

“Ooh, Mum, you’d better hurry! This bloke must be Rupert’s dodgy twin, and I think he’s about to break into Harriet’s house and steal all that good china her daughter is always banging on about.”

_Dear Evans,_

_First of all, that joke was just awful, but I have an even worse one for you. What’s brown and sticky? A stick (sorry)._

_Sirius is all moved into his new flat. It’s excellent, like he’s a real adult. I have my own room there and everything. He’s actually gone and bought a motorbike and it’s bloody brilliant. It goes fucking fast on its own, and then we did some alterations to make it even faster. He’s a natural driving it. You should let him take you for a ride sometime if you get the chance, it’s a real laugh. He let me have a go driving it, but I think I prefer flying…_

“Hullo, Prongs.” Sirius stood aside and let James into the flat. “Drop your stuff, then we’re heading outside.” He wore a frenzied grin, and he emanated excited energy. James shrugged, intrigued, and followed him down the stairs and out to the shed behind the building.

“Prepare yourself, Prongs.” Sirius was nearly bouncing with anticipation as he pulled the door of the shed open and stood aside so James could marvel at the sleek motorbike parked within.

“Bloody hell, you’ve really done it!” James exclaimed as he stepped into the shed to admire the bike. He reached out a hand to stroke the shiny paint, then withdrew it again and turned to Sirius. “Is it, er, is it all right if I touch it?”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah, just be gentle. Don’t scratch it.” 

“Was it hard to learn to drive it?” James asked. 

“Nah, not really,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I just went slow at first, until I was sure I had the hang of it.” A dreamy expression spread over his face. “And then I gave it a bit of gas, just to see what it can do, and it’s fucking fast, Prongs. Imagine what it can do once we enhance it a bit!”

James ran a hand through his hair, imagining the possibilities. Sirius’s enthusiasm was becoming contagious. “Can we take it out for a ride?”

Sirius had already begun wheeling the motorbike out of the shed before James had finished his sentence. “Course we bloody can, you think I’m showing it to you just so you can ooh and ah over it?” He parked it on the sidewalk in front of the flat and climbed up, then gestured for James to hop on behind him. “Now, you’ll have to hang on tight, so don’t be shy.”

James swung his leg over the side of the motorbike and slid onto the seat, then placed both hands on Sirius’s waist. “Pads, I’ve seen you cannonball into my pool naked at least five times. I don’t think being shy around each other is an option at this point.”

“Fair point.” He glanced back at James and grinned. “You ready?” 

He started the engine and took off without waiting for a response. As they sped past the bustling sidewalks filled with witches and wizards doing their shopping and enjoying the beautiful summer day, James couldn’t help but be impressed with Sirius’s driving ability. He handled the motorbike with ease, as if he’d been driving it for years. He supposed it was like the way he had always been an excellent flyer without having to work at it. They rounded a corner approaching the Leaky Cauldron, and James wondered for a moment how they would get out of Diagon Alley, but as if on cue an alley that James had never noticed before seemed to appear, and Sirius turned down it and brought them out into a London street packed with cars and people who didn’t seem to notice a motorbike carrying two young men that had appeared from out of nowhere.

Sirius weaved in and out of traffic, doing his best to avoid traffic lights and flashing a cheeky grin at slow drivers as he sped past. He took them out of the main part of London and onto a highway, accelerating up the onramp and zipping past other cars until they reached an empty stretch of road. As their speed increased and the wind whipped his hair into his eyes, James was reminded of the feeling of flying. It wasn’t that different, really, except the motorbike never left the ground, and unlike on his broom, James was not in control. With anyone else driving he might not have liked this, but he didn’t mind leaving everything up to Sirius. He trusted his friend completely, even if this was not perhaps the wisest decision. 

When they returned to the area of London near Sirius’s flat, they drew to a stop at a traffic light and James leaned forward to speak into Sirius’s ear. 

“What are the chances you’ll let me have a go at driving it?”

Sirius didn’t reply, but he drove around until he found a deserted parking lot that would provide James enough space to practice without needing to worry about denting someone’s car. He parked the motorbike and hopped off, then began explaining what to do. James did his best to listen, but he was already imagining himself hurtling around the parking lot, and the instructions seemed to wash over him. Finally, Sirius finished speaking and gave James the go-ahead to start the ignition. 

“Now, remember, take it easy,” Sirius reminded him, and he really did try, but the moment his hand twisted the throttle the motorbike shot forward much too fast. He tried to slow down while still maintaining control, but the bike began to tilt to one side, so he leaned to correct his error. This was a mistake, because the motorbike toppled over the other way. He reacted too slowly to even perform a Cushioning Charm to protect the motorbike, but Sirius had been prepared and acted before James and the motorbike hit the ground. 

James remained silent as he extricated himself from the motorbike and used his wand to get it upright again. He looked at Sirius, and Sirius met his gaze, unsure how to react to what had just occurred. Then the corners of his lips twitched up, and they both burst into laughter.

“Bloody hell, I’m sorry,” James choked out, bent over double from laughing. “I’m an idiot.”

“Nah, you’re not,” Sirius said, clapping him on the back. “Well, I mean, you are, but not because of this. I probably should’ve walked alongside you or something. And I bet you didn’t even listen to my instructions, did you?”

James grinned sheepishly. “Not fully, no. Merlin, don’t tell Evans about this.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the motorbike. “I just thought, since you learned so quickly, that I’d be the same. Like riding a broom, you know?”

Sirius nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I didn’t think of this before, but I bet it was easy for me to learn because I know how to ride a bicycle, and the balance aspect is sort of the same. You’ve never ridden a bicycle, have you?”

James raised his eyebrows. “No. You have?”

Sirius shrugged. “Yeah, I borrowed it from the Muggle kid who lived next door.” He glanced at James and grinned. “All right, borrowed is probably being generous, as he never gave me permission to use it, but he was a fucking tosser anyway, always giving me and Reg dirty looks. Anyway, I just got it in my head one day that I was going to learn, so I took it to this little alley where nobody could see and laugh at me. It took me a while and I fell a lot, my arms and knees were all cut to shit, but I managed it eventually.”

James gaped at him. “How come you never told me about that?” he demanded.

“I dunno, I guess I thought it sounded dumb and I didn’t want you to laugh. Which sounds ridiculous now, considering all the shit we’ve been through together and all the things you’ve seen me do that are much more embarrassing.”

“Merlin, so many things come to mind,” James replied. “Should we go back to your flat and start messing around with this thing? Because I already have some thoughts.”

“Yeah, so do I.” Sirius looked down at the motorbike, an ambitious glint in his eye, before climbing onto the seat and waiting for James to join him.

  
  



	4. We're Rooting for You

_ Dear Potter,  _

_ That’s the most pathetic excuse for a joke I’ve ever heard (although I may have laughed a bit, just because of how awful it is). My dad told me this one last night: How does the ocean say hello? It waves. _

_ I’m going to assume “I prefer flying” is James Potter for “I crashed the bloody thing,” so I hope you two idiots at least added some protective spells as well as enchanting it to go irresponsibly fast. Taking a ride on it sounds absolutely terrifying, but to be honest I’d be up for just about anything right now to take my mind off the trainwreck of a dinner I had to sit through with my family and Vernon Bloody Dursley… _

“Lily, come on out and join us. They’re going to be here soon.” Lily’s mother stood in the doorway of her bedroom, wearing a floral dress instead of her usual t-shirt and jeans. Her face was arranged into a bright smile, but a slight furrow in her brow hinted at the strain the evening was already causing her.

“Do I have to? Just tell them I’m ill.” She flopped down on her bed. “It won’t even really be a lie, seeing as his stupid bloody face makes me want to vomit.”

“That’s mean, love.” She sat down on the edge of Lily’s bed and sighed. “It won’t be that bad. Just nod and smile and make polite conversation, and the evening will be over before you know it.”

Lily sat up and brushed her hair out of her face. “But I don’t understand why we have to go to all this trouble when we all know it’s going to be a giant disaster.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” she urged. “If you just try-”

“Why should I bother trying to be nice, when I know Petunia’s terrified he’ll find out what a freak I am, when I know she’d rather not have a sister at all?” She stood and glared at her mother, anger flashing in her green eyes. “It’s bad enough being shunned and looked down on in the magical world. I shouldn’t have to deal with the same treatment from my own sister.”

Her mother frowned. “What do you mean? Who’s looking down on you in the magical world?”

Lily sighed and shook her head. “Never mind. No, seriously, Mum, forget I said it.” The hot rush of anger had evaporated, leaving her feeling listless and guilty. She made it a point to keep the unpleasant state of the magical world from her parents, and she already regretted her outburst. “Come on, I suppose I’m as ready as I’ll ever be for this lovely evening.” 

Lily made it through most of the evening without incident, managing to avoid speaking directly to Vernon until her mother cleared away the dinner plates and set out the pudding. The appearance of the trifle gave her hope, and she was already mentally congratulating herself on surviving the evening when Vernon cleared his throat and looked at her across the table.

“So, Lily. Petunia tells me you’ll be finished with school next year. What do you plan to do after that?”

She took a sip of water to buy herself a bit of time. It was an innocuous question, and yet she didn’t have the slightest idea how to even begin to answer it. She planned to pursue a career in Potions, but she couldn’t very well say that. What would be the Muggle equivalent? The word hovered in the recesses of her brain, just out of reach, and she began to panic when she realized how long she had been silent.

“Er, I haven’t really thought about it,” she blurted. 

He frowned. “I knew I wanted to go into the drill business by the time I was twelve,” he informed her, a pompous little smirk spreading across his face.

“Wow, isn’t that impressive,” she said, forcing a smile that was more of a grimace.  
_What a load of rubbish. Who the hell wants to go into the drill business at any age, let alone at twelve?_

“Yes, I always liked to look ahead. But not everyone’s that ambitious.” He paused to shovel a forkful of trifle into his mouth, smearing a bit of whipped cream into his mustache. “You might want to consider secretary work. You know Petunia and I met at work.”

“Yes, she mentioned that. That’s, er, lovely. I’m not sure I see myself as a secretary, though.”  _ Why on earth would I want to answer the phone and have bloody drill salesmen stare at my arse when I bend down to pick something up? _

“Nonsense, it’d be perfect. You seem competent enough, and it would get you through until you get married and have children.” He scarfed down the rest of his trifle, then dabbed at his mouth with his napkin, but only smeared the whipped cream instead of wiping it away.

“‘Competent enough,’ that’s generous of you, but who says I’m going to stop working the minute I pop out a kid?” She stared down at the table, focusing on a tiny spot next to the salt and pepper shakers. Was it wine? Gravy? She tried to force herself to think about this rather than her overwhelming desire to throw her trifle in Vernon Dursley’s stupid face.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, I just assumed - that is, most women want to stay home and raise a family.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Please tell me how you’re qualified to speak on behalf of ‘most women.’ No, honestly, explain it to me, I’d love to hear it.” She picked up her fork, more to occupy her hands than because she had any desire to eat her dessert. “Who says I even want to get married and have children?” She did, actually, but that wasn’t the point. “What if I want to have a career that’s a bit more mentally stimulating than making photocopies and addressing envelopes and scheduling meetings for Mr. Fat Bald Tosser and his bloody drill associates?” She jabbed her fork into the air to emphasize her points.

“Lily, shut up, for God’s sake,” Petunia hissed, her thin lips forming a thin line.

“No, I don’t think I will, thanks,” Lily shot back. “Just because you don’t have any sort of decent aspirations for your future doesn’t mean I don’t.”

“Don’t say that about your sister, love,” Lily’s mother urged, while her father seemed to be trying to hide behind the vase of flowers in the middle of the table. “You both have very bright futures, they’re just different.” 

Lily ignored her mother’s pleas. “It’s bloody ridiculous. You’ve always been jealous of me-”

Petunia pushed back her chair and jumped to her feet. “Jealous of you? What would I ever have to be jealous of?”

“Oh, don’t give me that, you know perfectly well what I mean. Do you really want me to say it?” Lily shot Petunia a pointed look. “You’re jealous, and you let your jealousy consume you and ruin our relationship, which is pretty shitty, by the way, but I’ve accepted it, but now you’re going to stand here and tell me this is the life you’ve always wanted, and there’s something wrong with me if I don’t want the same thing?”

Petunia glared at Lily, then bent and began muttering furiously to Vernon.

“Yes, go ahead and tell him what a freak I am, I expect you’ve already said it all behind my back anyway.” Lily pushed back from her chair so forcefully that it skidded on the carpet and almost toppled over. “And wipe the whipped cream from your stupid bloody mustache, for fuck’s sake!” She snatched up her napkin and threw it at Vernon, who caught it and sat staring at it in shock, before she stormed off and retreated to her bedroom, slamming the door and knocking a framed photo of her and Mary off the wall.

_ Bloody hell. _ She flopped onto her bed and put her head in her hands. She felt hot tears prick her eyes, yet she was also struck with the irresistible urge to laugh. _ I’m going mad. I must be losing my bloody mind.  _ She wiped tears from her eyes and replayed the argument in her mind. Had she really just shouted at her sister’s boyfriend about gender roles and expectations for women? She pictured the look on his face when she threw the napkin, and she had to press her hands to her mouth to stifle a laugh. 

She had changed into sweatpants and an old t-shirt and was sprawled out on the bed reading when her mother knocked softly and entered the room.

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to tell you about your expected role as a woman,” she said, setting a bowl on Lily’s dresser and putting her hands up in a gesture of surrender. 

Lily chuckled. “You think I’ve gone mad, don’t you?”

Her mother smiled and shook her head. “No. I think you’re passionate, opinionated, hot-tempered, but definitely not mad.” She raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t know you felt that way, about marriage and everything.”

“That’s not even necessarily the way I feel,” Lily admitted. “I’d love to get married and have kids. I just don’t think that should be the only option, the expectation, you know? And I don’t think having children and having a career should be mutually exclusive.” She toyed with the edge of the duvet, folding and unfolding it as the thoughts swirled around in her head. “Anyway, I suppose that wasn’t really what I was angry about. I just hate feeling like I’m some shameful secret we have to keep hidden.”

“Lily, you know we don’t feel that way about you,” her mother protested, reaching out and brushing a strand of Lily’s hair behind her ear. “We’ve always been proud of you.”

“But Petunia’s not. She’d rather she didn’t have a sister at all-”

“That’s not true!” her mother cut in.

“Well, if it wasn’t before, it is now.” A satisfied smile crept over her face. “Did you see his expression when I threw the napkin at him? Ugh, I hate that horrible mustache, and he’s so pompous! Bloody hell, his job’s not even impressive - drills are probably the most boring thing anyone could ever sell.”

“Well, not everyone can brew potions or tame dragons or fly a broomstick for a living.” She retrieved the bowl from the dresser and handed it to Lily. “I brought you some trifle since you were too busy shouting to eat much of yours, and it’s one of my best, if I do say so myself.” She sat down on the bed and stared down at her feet for a moment before continuing. “What you said to your sister, you weren’t wrong. It wasn’t kind to say it, but you’re right, she’s terribly jealous of you.”

“Well, it’s about time she got over it, wouldn’t you say?”

Her mother sighed. “It’s easier said than done. You have so much talent, and whatever career you decide on, I know you’ll be brilliant. And if you decide to get married, I know you’ll choose a husband who will support you and challenge you, because you wouldn’t settle for any less. All I’m saying is, go easy on Petunia, because it’s not easy living in your shadow.” She placed a hand on Lily’s shoulder for a moment, then pointed at the bowl of trifle. “Now eat that before I do, all right?”

_ Dear Evans, _

_ Tell your dad nice one for the wave joke. I told that one to Sirius and he laughed for ages (he was also very high so this may have had something to with it). Your dad might like this one: what’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.  _

_ I’d give anything to have been there when you told off your sister’s boyfriend. Speaking as someone who’s been on the receiving end of your wrath, I can only imagine the look on his face. What an absolute bloody tosser - imagine your talent being wasted answering the telephone when you’re probably going to end up inventing a potion that cures lycanthropy or reverses permanent spell damage or something. Honestly, you probably went a bit easy on him, as he most likely deserved trifle thrown in his face. _

_ Sirius and I have been tinkering with the motorbike. We’ve added quite a few protective enchantments, as well as some spells that make it go, as you said, “irresponsibly fast.” Today we’re going to work on making it fly… _

“We should’ve brought some snacks down,” James observed, sprawling out on the floor of the tiny shed with his back resting against the wall. He pulled a piece of parchment and a quill towards him and began to doodle as he thought.

“Who do you think I am, Prongs?” Sirius pulled several chocolate bars and a bag of crisps from his pocket and set them down on the table, then sat down in the camp chair and reached for his wand. “I also brought firewhisky, but we need to have a go at working on this first, because you know we’ll be useless once we’re drunk.”

“Fair enough.” James drew a crude sketch of the motorbike on the parchment, then listed several spells below it, adding notations and questions as they occurred to him. This was how his brain worked: he scribbled down his thoughts as a way of sorting through them. This inevitably led to pages of word vomit on parchment that looked incomprehensible to everyone besides James and Sirius, but it also led to some of their best accomplishments.

“Anything interesting in your latest letter from Evans?” Sirius asked, twirling his wand between his fingers.

“Hmm?” James glanced up from the parchment in time to see Sirius accidentally shoot sparks in his direction. “Oi, careful. What if you set this parchment on fire, and all my brilliant ideas get burnt up?” He held the parchment safely out of harm’s way. 

Sirius laughed and held his wand still. “Yeah, I’m sure your Quidditch doodles and ‘JP + LE’ in a bloody heart are irreplaceable.”

James glanced down at the parchment and grinned. “All right, fair, but there are also some actual ideas on here as well. Anyway, what were you saying? Oh, yeah, Evans. You’d actually be proud, Padfoot, she told off her sister’s tosser boyfriend and threw a napkin in his face.”

Sirius nodded appreciatively. “Way to go, Evans. I am bloody proud, to be honest.”

“I know. She’s something, isn’t she?” He ran a hand through his hair, a dreamy expression on his face. “Merlin, I love it when she really lets someone have it. So bloody adorable.”

“Not when you’re the one she’s shouting at,” Sirius replied, grimacing. 

“No, that’s a bit scary,” James agreed before returning to his parchment.

Sirius tapped his wand against his knee, frowning and muttering under his breath. Once he pointed his wand at the motorbike and spoke an incantation, then stared at it for several moments as if evaluating its success. This was Sirius’s brainstorming method; he never wrote anything down, preferring to test out spells as they occurred to him. It saved time, but his constant wand tapping often led to accidental fires.

“Right, I’m going to try something,” James said, setting down the parchment and reaching for his wand. He stood up and tapped several spots on the motorbike with his wand, murmuring as he did so. A golden glow emerged at every spot he tapped, spreading until it covered every surface of the motorbike before sinking into the shiny metal and leaving no trace behind. 

“Nice one,” Sirius said, grinning and getting to his feet to add his own spell to the motorbike.

Once they had finished, Sirius wheeled the motorbike out of the shed so they could test it. At first the motorbike didn’t even leave the ground, but they had anticipated this. 

“Let’s do it again to sort of reinforce it, but let’s both do it at the same time and see if that makes a difference,” James suggested. 

Sirius nodded, and they both performed the spell that encased the motorbike in the golden light. This proved to be more effective: the motorbike actually lifted off the ground, but crashed back down moments later and Sirius had to do a quick cushioning charm to protect it from damage.

“I feel like it’s resisting,” he remarked. “Like it doesn’t want to fly and it’s fighting off our magic. I know that sounds stupid, but you know what I’m saying, right?”

“Yeah, I do, actually.” James frowned and walked around the motorbike in a slow circle. “I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard.”

“That’s what she said,” Sirius said, grinning. “Hang on, I’m going to try one more thing.” He performed the same spell, but concentrated all of his attention on the throttle. “Okay, I’m going to try flying it again, but-”

“I’ll be ready,” James assured him, holding up his wand as proof. 

Sirius started up the motorbike and steered it slowly into the air, then climbed higher until he was level with the roof of his building. He waved down at James and flew in a wide circle around the yard, his hopes soaring in spite of himself. He had started a second lap when the motorbike began to shake, then plummeted down toward the ground. Sirius didn’t even have time to swear before he was flung from the bike, landing on the grass and saved from injury by James’s Cushioning Charm.

“Bloody hell, we almost have it,” he said, heaving himself to his feet and examining the motorbike again. “I feel like whatever’s going wrong is going to be so obvious once we figure it out.”

“Me too. It’s driving me mad.” James ran a hand through his hair as he circled the motorbike once again. “Should we go back to the shed? Brainstorm a bit more?”

“Yeah, I suppose.” Sirius stared at the motorbike for another moment, then sighed in frustration and wheeled it back into the shed. He plopped down in the camp chair and tapped his wand idly against his leg as he racked his brain. James sat down on the floor beside him and reached for another piece of parchment and the quill. They remained this way for several minutes, sitting in companionable silence as they both put their minds to solving a problem, each in his own preferred way.

“Padfoot, I thought we were going to wait until we’d finished to start drinking.” James gestured at the bottle of firewhisky in his friend’s hand and grinned. 

Sirius glanced down at the bottle, his eyes widening in surprise. “I honestly didn’t even realize I’d reached for it,” he admitted. “It’s a habit, I suppose, when I’m frustrated, which is of course a completely bloody healthy way to deal with a problem.” He took a sip from the bottle before offering it to James. “Let’s call it a day anyway. It looks like your productivity has gone down as well, anyway.” He eyed the parchment in front of James, which now contained the words “SIRIUS BLACK IS A TOSSER” in large block letters.

James grinned. “I was trying to look like I was working, but really I’ve done about all the thinking I can do for one day.” He accepted the bottle from Sirius and took a large gulp. “We did get a lot accomplished today. I think we’re almost there, and we’ve done enough today to have earned a drink.” 

“Agreed. Thanks for the help, mate.” His eyes lit up and he tapped his wand against the side of his head as an idea struck him. “I’m going to get drunk and do a dramatic reading of that ridiculous poem you wrote for Evans last time we got high in here.”

James covered his face with his hand and groaned. “You said you were going to burn that and never speak of it to anyone.”

Sirius shrugged. “Yeah, well, I lied.” He began Summoning the parchment that littered the table and the floor. “I know it’s around here somewhere.”

Eventually they stumbled up the stairs to Sirius’s flat, spilling some of the open firewhisky onto the floor before collapsing onto the sofa and beginning a lazy game of pass with the Quaffle that James retrieved from his bedroom. They tossed it back and forth in silence for a few minutes before James began spinning the ball in one hand and glanced over at Sirius.

“What do you think Evans is doing right now?” he mused.

Sirius chuckled. “Hopefully masturbating furiously to a picture of you. But more likely she’s reading, or brewing a potion for fun, or blasting music and dancing around her room, or whatever the hell Evans does in her free time.” He held up his hands and gestured for James to pass him the Quaffle, then smiled at the wistful look on his friend’s face. “Merlin, you really miss her, don’t you?”

James nodded. “I know, I know, I’m a sentimental prat and you don’t believe in all that rubbish. But I can’t help it.”

Sirius reached for the firewhisky and helped himself to a sip. “I wasn’t going to have a go at you, actually. I mean, you are a sentimental prat, there’s no arguing with that, and I don’t normally believe in all that rubbish, but you and Evans are the exception. It’s the real thing. Macdonald and I have talked about this several times, actually.”

James tilted his head sideways and looked at Sirius. “Have you?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. She shares my view on love for the most part, but we both think you two idiots belong together, and, well, we’re rooting for you.” 

James’s face broke into a wide, earnest grin. “Thanks, Padfoot. It means a lot.” He raised his eyebrows. “What about you? How’s it going with-”

“No.” Sirius crossed his arms and glared at James.

“No what?” James asked, his face the picture of innocence.

“No, we’re not going down that road. Macdonald and I are friends, friends who shag regularly, and we are both fine with that, and I am not having a drunken discussion with you about my nonexistent romantic feelings for her, so just throw me that Quaffle and have a drink and quit trying to project your sentimental tendencies onto me, mate.”

James gaped at him for a moment, then burst into laughter. “All right, that’s fair.” He took a long sip of firewhisky, then threw the ball in Sirius’s direction. “So how about those Cannons?” 

  
  



	5. We're Dancing Like Idiots, What Does It Look Like?

_ Dear Potter, _

_ I’m hoping nothing went wrong with your attempts to make the motorbike fly, but if some catastrophe occurred and you didn’t survive, I’ll make sure you’re buried with your lucky Quidditch whistle. Also, I laughed really hard at the image of Sirius high off his arse laughing at my terrible joke, and then I laughed even harder at your stupid tuna fish joke, so thanks for that. Here’s one that’s similar: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste. _

_ It’s kind of you to have such a high opinion of my career prospects, but you’re definitely being far too generous. Still, it means a lot, so thanks. Things have been pretty quiet around here since the dinner fiasco, but Mary’s coming over tonight and she’s expecting to get drunk on tequila that I may or not be “borrowing” from my parents’ liquor cabinet, so I have a feeling tonight’s going to be anything but quiet. I’m going to try to get some information out of her about Sirius when she’s had a few drinks and is feeling talkative… _

“Black, what time is it?” Mary lay curled against Sirius with her head on his chest. They had left the bed only once today, when they decided it was time to take a shower and be productive members of society. That had ended with them stumbling back to the bedroom, dripping and naked and snogging furiously, and since then they had made no further attempts to get up for the day.

“No bloody idea,” Sirius replied, pulling her closer to him and pushing a lock of her hair out of his face. “Can you reach the cigarettes?”

She reached out and groped around on the bedside table. “They’re not here. I think they’re in your pocket.” She gestured at the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed, so close yet so far away. 

Sirius groaned. “Can you reach your wand?”

“It’s in my pocket.” She pointed again to their tangle of clothes.

“Shit. Can you reach my wand?”

“It’s in your pocket.” She trailed her fingers up and down his chest.

“Can you reach my, er, other wand?” She glanced up at him and he smirked, then reached for her hand and guided it down underneath the blankets.

“You’re an idiot, Black. You know, we can’t stay in bed all day,” she murmured, but her protests were feeble and she made no move to pull her hand away or leave the bed. “I have stuff to do.” 

“And the first item on the agenda is ‘shag Sirius Black,’ so you’d better get started if you want to get your whole to-do list finished.” 

Later they had returned to the same exact position and Sirius was blowing a curl out of his face in exasperation when Mary froze.

“Hang on, what time is it?”

“About a half hour later than the last time you asked me and I said I had no bloody idea,” Sirius replied, sighing and letting his eyes drift shut. “Why is shagging in the middle of the afternoon when you should be up doing something productive always the best sort of shagging?”

Mary ignored him and fumbled around on the bedside table until she found Sirius’s watch. “Shit, I’ve got to go.” She attempted to sit up, but Sirius tightened his arms around her.

“No, Macdonald. Don’t go. Stay here and be lazy and shag me.” He propped himself up on one elbow and grinned down at her. “You know you want to.”

She slid out of his grasp and padded across the floor to her clothes, then began to dress in a hurry. 

“Of course I want to, it’s probably my favorite way to spend the day. I just can’t because I’m supposed to be at Lily’s house in less than two hours.” She wriggled into her shorts and knelt to wrestle her shoes onto her feet.

“So come back to bed for another five minutes and then go,” Sirius urged. “I’ll make it the best five minutes of your life.” He patted the mattress, and that stupid irresistible grin and his bare chest and the way the afternoon sunlight streamed in through the window almost convinced her to give in and crawl back into bed. Almost.

“I can’t. Her parents are making us dinner and everything, and she lives in bloody Cokeworth. It’ll take ages to get there.” She scanned the floor and finally spotted her wand under the bed. “I meant to check the bus schedule earlier, but once we got here I got a bit sidetracked…” She sighed. “I’m an idiot.”

“No worries, Macdonald, I can get you there.” He threw back the blankets and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Will you toss me my clothes?”

She frowned at him. “It’s over two hours away.”

“Not the way I drive,” he said, chuckling and crossing the room to retrieve his clothes from the floor since she didn’t seem inclined to do it for him. “I bet I can do it in an hour.”

“But you seemed so keen to lay around and do nothing,” she persisted, running a hand through her curls and tossing her head to try to banish the “bedroom hair” look.

He shrugged. “Taking the motorbike out is just as good as laying around doing nothing,” he said, pulling his t-shirt over his head. “Besides, laying in bed all day isn’t nearly as fun when you’re not here.” 

She looked at him, a smile spreading slowly across her face. “You’re just going to drop everything to drive me to Cokeworth?”

He pulled his trousers on and bent to put on his boots. “Drop everything, what a bunch of rubbish. I’m doing literally nothing. Don’t make it a big thing, Macdonald. Just make sure when you and Evans are all drunk and giggly that you take a break from describing all my best shagging moves to get her to admit how much she wants to see James naked, all right? Now let’s get going, because if I’m actually going to get you there in an hour we have to leave now.”

Lily glanced at the clock and drummed her fingers on her desk, then reached for a book and flipped through until she found her place. She had read only a few pages when the roar of an engine broke her concentration. She frowned as the headlights shone straight through her window for a moment before the driver cut the engine and they flickered off. Curious, she peered through the window, then widened her eyes in surprise.

“Black?” she called, pressing her face against the screen to see better. “Is that you? Did you drive Mary all the way from London on that thing?”

“Don’t refer to my motorbike as ‘that thing,’” Sirius protested, placing a protective hand on the handlebars and looking offended. “Are you going to come out and say hello properly or just continue to shout at me through the window?”

She laughed as she hurried across the room and through the house, pausing in the doorway to watch Sirius wrap his arms around Mary and pull her in for a kiss. Lily could sense real feeling and affection in the way their lips met, the way they clung to each other, and she filed this away to tell James about later.  _ Just friends who shag each other, my arse. _

“Hi!” She bounded out to hug Mary once Sirius had released her. “Hey, Black. Nice motorbike.”

He grinned. “Thanks, Evans. Written any interesting letters to James lately?”

“None of your business,” she replied, blushing despite her best efforts to feign nonchalance. “How long did it take you to drive here from London?

Sirius glanced at his watch. “Bloody hell, it took us almost an hour and a half,” he said, frowning. “I was sure we could make it in an hour.”

“It usually takes us almost two and a half to get to King’s Cross,” Lily said. “Merlin, you must have been going fast.”

Mary grinned. “I don’t think he knows how to drive any other speed.”

“It’s an insult to the motorbike if I don’t use it to its full potential,” Sirius insisted. “Anyway, I’ll get going so you two can drink too much tequila and talk about how much Evans wants to shag James.” 

“I don’t - I never said-” Lily spluttered, but Sirius ignored her as he climbed onto his motorbike.

“Thanks for the ride, Black,” Mary said, linking her arm through Lily’s. “Try not to swear at too many people on the drive home.”

“Can’t make any promises if they’re driving slow and get in my way,” he said before starting up the motorbike. “Have fun!” He waved before taking off down the street and disappearing around a corner, leaving behind a whiff of exhaust fumes.

“How much time have you been spending with him?” Lily asked, glancing at Mary and raising her eyebrows and they strolled towards the house. 

“A bit,” Mary replied evasively, keeping her expression neutral. 

“I’m just saying,” Lily continued. “That was nice of him to drive you all the way here.” She studied Mary’s to see her reaction, but she merely nodded, her face revealing nothing.

“Yes, it was, although he loves driving that motorbike, so he’ll jump at any excuse to take it out for a drive.”

“Seems like the sort of thing a boyfriend might do,” Lily said, a suggestive smile on her face.

“What did your mom make for dinner?” Mary asked, ignoring Lily’s comment and following her through the door into the house. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Evans! Thanks for having me. Dinner smells great, I’m starving!”

After dinner the two girls retreated into Lily’s room to lounge on the bed while Paul Simon played in the background. Mary pages through an issue of  _ Witch Weekly  _ while Lily poured them both hefty measures of tequila into plastic cups and topped them off with orange juice. 

“Drink up,” Lily said, handing Mary one of the plastic cups and taking a sip of her own, grimacing as the liquor burned her throat.

“Cheers,” Mary said as she gulped down half the drink in one swallow.

“Thirsty?” Lily asked, gesturing at the half-empty cup and raising her eyebrows.

“I’ve got shit to tell you about Melanie, and I prefer not to do it sober,” Mary replied. She tossed back the rest of her drink and heaved a sigh of satisfaction. “Right, so remember the bloke she was seeing last summer? The one who lived in the flat down the hall from ours?”

The conversation was a very thirsty one, and the two girls had resorted to drinking straight from the bottle by the time Mary’s finished describing her mother’s dramatic breakup with her latest boyfriend. 

“And then she says, ‘I’ve had it with tossers like him, and I mean it this time!’ Mind you, this was after drinking almost an entire bottle of gin, so it sounded a lot less coherent, but luckily I’m pretty fluent in drunk Melanie. And then the next bloody day I come home and there’s this new bloke smoking on the couch wearing just pants, and he could be the last bloke’s fucking twin!” She laughed and took a sip from the bottle, then shook her head. “Fucking Melanie.”

“Fucking Melanie,” Lily repeated. “Well, at least you have Black to take your mind off of it.” She took the bottle from Mary’s hands and helped herself to a long swallow.

Mary twirled a curl around her finger as if considering how much to reveal, then nodded. “Yeah, it does help.” She smirked and nudged Lily. “He looks bloody sexy driving that motorbike, doesn’t he?”

Lily pictured Sirius sitting atop the motorbike, his leather jacket perfectly hugging his frame and his dark hair falling into his eyes. She couldn’t deny that he was attractive - no one with eyes could deny that- yet he just didn’t do it for her. “He does have a sort of bad boy appeal, I suppose, if you’re into that sort of thing.” She looked at Mary and giggled, then added, “Which you clearly are.”  
“Clearly,” Mary confirmed. “While you obviously prefer a bloke with messy hair and glasses who rides a broomstick.”

“We’re friends,” Lily reminded her reproachfully. 

“And Black and I are friends. We also shagged three times today. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean you can’t find them attractive.”

Lily stared at her, the bottle in her hand forgotten. “Three times? Merlin, don’t you think that’s a 

bit excessive?” 

Mary shrugged, then plucked the bottle from Lily’s hand and put it to her lips. “No, not really,” she replied. “We were going to go for round four, but we had to leave to get here on time.”

Lily shook her head in disbelief. “Three times,” she repeated. “Is that all you two do, then, when you go over to his flat?” 

“Course not,” Mary said, grinning and handing Lily the bottle of tequila. “We share a joint, or get drunk, and talk about all the dumb shit he and Potter get up to.” Her face lit up. “They got tattoos, did you know that?”

Lily’s eyes widened. “No! He never told me that. What did they get?” The image of a large,

indistinct tattoo covering James Potter’s naked torso popped into her mind, and she took a sip of liquor to dispel the thought. 

“Black got the Gryffindor crest on his upper arm, I expect because his parents would hate the idea,” she replied. “And Potter got…” She frowned. “Shit, I guess I never found out what he got for a tattoo, unless he actually got Black’s name on his left arse cheek.”

“I hope not,” Lily said, giggling at the image. 

“You’re picturing it, aren’t you?” Mary asked slyly, then burst into laughter when she took in Lily’s look of sheer embarrassment. “It’s all right, I don’t blame you! He’s quite good looking, even if he’s not exactly my type.”

Lily snorted with laughter and shot her a dubious look.

“All right, fair enough, who the fuck knows what my type is,” Mary amended. “Point is, if I

happened to walk into a room to find James Potter naked, well, I wouldn’t close my eyes.”

“Why would you be walking into a room where James just happens to be hanging around naked?” Lily asked, giggling in spite of herself. She took a sip of tequila in hopes it would help control the giggling, but it merely caused her to choke, then laugh harder.

“You’re missing the point!” Mary protested, plucking the bottle from Lily’s hand. “Give me that, you clearly don’t know how to drink and laugh at the same time.” She took a sip, then crossed her arms and fixed Lily with an appraising stare. “Now, will you please just admit that you wouldn’t be opposed to shagging James Potter, or snogging him, or at the very least, walking into a room and accidentally seeing him naked?”

Lily frowned. “Why is seeing him naked ‘at the very least?’ That’s way more personal than snogging.”

Mary sighed in exasperation and took another sip. “You drive me to drink, you know that? Merlin, why can’t you just admit you like him? You’d be perfect together! Black and I talk about this all the time.”

“You do?” Lily demanded, glancing sideways at Mary. 

“Yeah, I told you, we don’t just shag.” She paused, scanning the room until she spotted a box of Bertie Botts on Lily’s bedside table. “Can I have some?” she asked, shaking beans into her palm before Lily had time to answer. “Anyway, we think you’d be great together, even though as a rule we both think relationships are bloody overrated.” She chewed and swallowed her mouthful of Bertie Botts, then shook a few more into her hand and offered the box to Lily. “It’d be perfect, so I can’t for the life of me understand why you continue to deny your feelings for him.”

Lily laughed. “Right, because it’d be utterly stupid to pretend you don’t have feelings for someone when it’s obvious to everyone else that you’re mad about said person.” She rolled her eyes. “What sort of idiotic person would behave that way?”

Mary scowled at her. “That is completely different! We’re friends.”

“Like James and I are friends?” 

“This conversation is making my brain hurt,” Mary complained.

“You sure it’s not just the tequila? Or the effort of constantly repressing your romantic feelings for a certain long-haired, rebellious, tattooed Gryffindor?” Lily asked, grinning.

“Nope, definitely the conversation,” Mary insisted. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Lily thought for a moment. “Did you see the _ Prophet  _ yesterday?”

Mary groaned. “The fuck would I want to read the _ Prophet  _ for?” 

“Oh, I dunno, to be informed about what’s going on in our world?” Lily replied, eyes widening in surprise.

“So I can be bloody depressed and anxious for the rest of the day? No thanks.” Mary met Lily’s gaze, a stubborn expression on her face.

“You know, pretending everything’s fine doesn’t actually make everything fine,” Lily pointed out. “We can’t just ignore the problem. We’ve got to be informed and aware so we can know what we’re up against and try to, I dunno, do something about it!” Her green eyes blazed and a righteous fury lit her face. “Doesn’t it make you angry, what they’re saying about people like us, what they want to do to people like us?” She studied Mary’s face, her eyes wide and her chest heaving. “Sometimes I get so angry I feel like I’ll go mad if I don’t do something, except I don’t know what can be bloody done, which makes me even angrier!”

“Hey.” Mary put her hand on Lily’s shoulder, then pulled her into a hug. “Listen,” Mary said softly after releasing Lily. “I know how you feel. I’ve felt that same anger before, after, you know, the thing with Mulciber.” She took a long swallow of firewhisky, then continued. “I felt so angry I thought the anger would consume me, and there’d be nothin left of me except this blind fucking fury. I’d never usually say this out loud because I know it sounds mad, except I know you understand because I just saw that same fury on your face. So I get it. I do. But I couldn’t carry on being that angry all the time. It really fucked with my head. So I buried that anger deep down, and I stopped letting myself think about the things that made me angry.” Her tone was calm and even, yet Lily detected a current of pain hidden beneath her determinedly neutral expression. “That’s why I don’t read  _ The Daily Prophet.  _ That’s why I don’t talk about everything that’s going on. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s because I care too much, if I let myself, so I have to shut it all out for the sake of my own mental health.” She took a deep breath. “Does that make sense?”

Lily nodded, her mind whirling as she turned over what Mary had just said.

“Good. Now we need to stop talking about serious shit and have some fun, because we’re drunk on tequila and it’s summer and life’s fucking short.” She slid off the bed and crossed the room to change the music, then cranked up the volume as the telltale glissando of “Dancing Queen” dispelled the lingering somber atmosphere. “Come on,” she said, grabbing Lily’s hand and dragging her to her feet.

“What are we doing?” Lily asked as Mary threw her hands in the air and spun around.

“We’re dancing like idiots, what does it look like? Come on, I know you love this bloody song!” She grabbed a hairbrush from the dresser and held it up to Lily’s mouth like a microphone. Lily hesitated for a moment, then let the music drown out her worry and anger as she opened her mouth and began to sing, “Friday night and the lights are low…”

_ Dear Evans, _

_ Don’t worry, we survived our attempts to get the motorbike to fly (we were mostly successful except we can’t get it to stay in the air for longer than a few minutes), but thanks for making sure I’m buried with my lucky whistle. You know what, you can keep it for being such a top notch friend, as hopefully whistles are provided in the afterlife.  _

_ I’m eager to hear what you found out from Mary. I tried asking Sirius about it the other night when we were both drunk, but he flatly refused to say anything about it, the git. I suspect they’re spending more time together than they’re letting on, which is great, but I do think he could at least be honest with me, as I’m his best mate and an excellent secret keeper (most of the time).  _

_ The four of us are going over to Sirius’s flat today. He’s planning to take Peter and Remus out on the motorbike, although I’m half convinced Remus is going to refuse. I hope he doesn’t, because I’m dying to see his face when Sirius gives it some gas… _

“And this is my room.” James led Peter and Remus into the second bedroom and gestured at the Ballycastle Bats decorations that covered most of the wall space. “I’ve graciously allowed Padfoot to put a bunk bed in here so you don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

“That’s good of you,” Remus said, grinning.

“When are we going out on the motorbike?” Peter asked, his face lit with eager excitement. 

Remus scowled. “Bloody hell, Wormtail, why’d you bring it up? I was hoping he’d forget.” 

“Course I wouldn’t forget, you prat,” Sirius said. He led them back out into the living room and grabbed his leather jacket from where he’d left it draped over the arm of the sofa. “You going first, then, Wormtail?” He set off without waiting for a reply, and Peter followed him out the door and down the stairs, peppering him with questions about the motorbike and taking the stairs two at a time to keep up.

“I hope he knows I’m not riding on that thing,” Remus muttered, settling onto the sofa.

James pulled a Quaffle from underneath the coffee table and began tossing it into the air and catching it. “Come on, Moony, it’s loads of fun,” James urged. “We’ve added built-in protective spells, so it’s really not dangerous at all.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at this last comment, and James chuckled

“Well, all right, it’s probably not what you’d call safe, but we do stuff that’s way more dangerous all the time.” He threw the Quaffle so high that it bounced off the ceiling, and he caught it with a sheepish grin. “Bloody hell, you’re the toughest out of all of us. If you can make it through your transformations every month, a ride on a motorbike should be a piece of cake.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m not the toughest out of all of us, what a load of rubbish. I get through full moon because I have no choice in the matter. This, on the other hand, I have a say in, and I’m going to say fuck no.”

James began tossing the Quaffle from hand to hand. “You say that like Padfoot’s going to give you a choice in the matter.”

“You’re probably right.” Remus sighed, resigned to his fate. “Hey, how’re things going with Evans? Get any letters recently?”

James set the Quaffle down on the floor and turned to Remus, his face splitting into a wide smile. “It’s, well, I don’t want to jinx it or anything, but it’s going really, really well.” He ran a hand through his hair and met Remus’s gaze, not bothering to disguise the uninhibited optimism on his face. “I’m better at hiding my idiotic tendencies in a letter, because I can just cross it out or start over if I write something stupid.”

Remus chuckled. “If only you had that option in real life. But really though, I’m happy for you. It sounds like you’re finally getting there.”

“I hope so,” James replied, slouching down and resting his feet on the coffee table. “Bloody hell, I hope so.”

“So what’s going on with Padfoot and Mary?” Remus asked, glancing at the door to make sure Sirius wasn’t about to burst through and interrupt their conspiratorial discussion.

“Glad you asked,” James said, straightening and leaning in closer to Remus. “I think he’s in love with her, honestly.”

“He said that?” Remus asked, taken aback.

“No, of course he didn’t say that, he refuses to talk about it at all, unless of course you want explicit details about their favorite shagging positions, then he won’t shut up even if you beg him. But I’m pretty sure she’s here basically any time I’m not, and, I dunno, they just seem to to sort of ‘get’ each other, don’t they?”

Remus mulled this over, then nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I rather like Mary. She’s very no-nonsense, which is why they work well, I suppose, because Padfoot is nothing but nonsense.” He grinned. 

“I’m telling Padfoot you said that,” James remarked, picking up the Quaffle and resuming his idle game of catch. “Now there’s no way you’re getting out of taking a ride on his motorbike of death.”

“It’s nothing I wouldn’t say straight to his face,” Remus replied. “He’ll be the first to admit he’s the world’s biggest drama queen and it takes a special sort of person to put up with his antics. Although to be fair, it takes a special sort of person to put up with all of us.”

“Not you so much, Moony. You’re lovely, a real gem.”

“Who’s a real gem?” Sirius asked. He stood in the doorway of the flat with a wind-tousled but exhilarated Peter. “I assume you were talking about me?”

“We were, actually,” James replied, “but that particular comment was about Moony, because he just told me how thrilled he is that you’re kind enough to take him for a ride on your motorbike even though he’s wearing his most uncool jumper today.” James grinned at Remus, who responded with a rude hand gesture, before turning his attention to Peter. “How was it, Wormtail? Did he shout at anyone?”

“He did, actually!” Peter replied, chuckling and taking a seat in the armchair. “It was brilliant, you’ll love it, Moony.” He pressed a hand to his head in an attempt to flatten his hair, then gave up, or perhaps decided he liked the look because it resembled James’s messy hair.

“Well, if I don’t make it back, it was nice knowing you,” Remus said, rising from the sofa to join Sirius. “Prongs, you can have my jumper collection, and Wormtail, you can have all my chocolate.”

“What do I get?” Sirius demanded indignantly.

Remus grinned. “You’ll most likely be dead too, Pads. But in the event that you somehow survive, you can have all my silly Muggle novels.” He pulled the door open and stepped through. “Come on, let’s get this over with,” he said, his words heavy with resignation.

“Have fun!” James called. “And try not to die, because I don’t want all those bloody jumpers.”

“It won’t be as bad as you think, Moony,” Sirius assured him as they reached the bottom of the steps and headed outside to the front of the building where the motorbike was parked. “I won’t even go fast if you don’t want me to.”

“Liar,” Remus muttered, grinning in spite of himself.

“All right, that was a bloody lie, but you’ll be fine. The protective spells should hold up, but we won’t need them anyway because I’m an excellent driver.” He swung his leg over the motorbike and climbed on, then gestured for Remus to sit behind him. “You’re going to have to hang on tight, otherwise your skinny arse will slide right off if I go around a corner too fast.” He glanced back and laughed at the look of horror on Remus’s face. “I’m sort of joking, but you will need to hold on.” He started the engine as Remus wrapped his arms around his waist, then looked over his shoulder again. “Ready?” he asked, shouting to be heard over the roar of the engine, and Remus nodded, his mouth set in a thin line and his face even paler than usual. Sirius shot him a reassuring grin, then turned around and set off down the street. 

He tried to go slowly at first, he really did, but the motorbike seemed to have a mind of its own, and it begged to go fast, so he obliged. Sirius laughed as he heard Remus exclaim “Bloody fucking hell!” as he gave the motorbike some gas and it shot forward, overtaking several cars and barely avoiding a pedestrian in a crosswalk who responded with a rude hand gesture.

“Same to you, you bloody wanker!” Sirius called back, and he couldn’t be sure because the combined noise from the motorbike and the wind drowned out everything else, but he thought he heard the faint sound of Remus laughing.

Sirius had only taken Peter down a few of the main London roads before heading back to Diagon Alley, but he decided to take Remus on the highway, partly to mess with him and partly because he sensed his friend would actually enjoy the exhilarating speed once he stopped swearing under his breath and worrying about crashing. He weaved through traffic and cut off a truck to get to the on ramp, then sped up and passed several cars until they had the middle lane to themselves and the highway ahead of them stretched out, empty and inviting.

“Open your eyes, Moony!” Sirius called, not daring to glance back but sure his friend’s eyes were squeezed tight in terror.

“They’re open!” Remus shouted, his voice barely audible.

“No they’re bloody not, I know you’re lying! Open them for real, it’s much better if you do. I promise you’re fine.”

Remus didn’t reply, but after a moment Sirius heard a muttered, “Bloody hell.” This time it was not an involuntary exclamation of fear, but one of amazement and wonder. 

“I told you it’s better with your eyes open!” Sirius shouted, and although Remus didn’t reply, he loosened his hold on Sirius’s waist.

Sirius eventually took an exit and reversed direction, and when he pulled the motorbike to a stop in front of his flat and hopped down, he grinned in triumph as he took in Remus’s expression of pure joy.

“You loved it, didn’t you?” 

Remus swung his leg over the motorbike and slid off, flattening his hair and trying to hide his smile. “It was all right,” he replied. “I survived.”

“You’re full of shit,” Sirius said, shoving his shoulder gently. “You just don’t want to admit I was right, but you thought it was bloody brilliant, didn’t you?”

Remus sighed. “All right, it was kind of brilliant, are you happy?” He glanced sideways at Sirius and rolled his eyes. “No need to look so smug about it,” he said, following Sirius up the stairs to the flat after they had wheeled the motorbike into the shed.

“I knew you’d love it,” Sirius boasted. “Why do you always doubt me?” He pulled open the door to the flat and practically skipped into the flat, shouting, “Let it be known that Moony loved the motorbike experience even though he was so sure I was going to kill us both that he was ready to give away his most prized possessions!” 

“Really?” Peter asked. “He looked bloody terrified when you first took off down the street.”

“What, were you watching out the window?” Remus demanded, shaking his head in exasperation.

“Well, yeah, how else were we supposed to die laughing when we saw the look on your face?” James asked, tossing the Quaffle to Sirius, who managed to catch it despite being halfway through removing his jacket. “Anyway, now that you’re back, fancy a bit of Indoor Quidditch?” He darted into his bedroom and returned with his broomstick. “I brought this just in case.”  
Remus frowned. “There’s not enough room in here for Indoor Quidditch.”

James mounted his broom and kicked off from the ground, hovering near the ceiling before darting across the room to catch a pass from Sirius and coming to a halt just before crashing headlong into the window. “There’s always enough room for Indoor Quidditch if you know what you’re doing,” he replied, tossing the Quaffle to Peter. “Besides, it’s only really dangerous if you add a Bludger or two, and I left mine at home.”

“What a pity,” Remus muttered, hopping out of the way as Sirius sprinted across the room and jumped onto the couch to catch a wild pass from Peter.


	6. Keep Your Fingers Crossed and Hope for the Best

_ Dear Potter, _

_ You forgot to include a terrible joke in your last letter! To punish you, I’m going to tell you one that’s truly awful: What’s green and has wheels? Grass - I lied about the wheels. _ _  
  
_

_ I tried to get Mary to talk about her feelings for Sirius when we got drunk together, but she’s like a damn Gringotts vault. Refused to say anything except that they shagged three times in one day, which seemed excessive to me, but what do I know. She did tell me that you and Black got tattoos, so you’ll have to tell me what you got, because she somehow didn’t know (unless you actually have Sirius Black tattooed on your arse). If I’m allowed to venture a guess, I’d say it’s something Quidditch-related. We also ended up having sort of an intense heart to heart about, well, everything that’s been going on, which was unexpected but pretty validating, because I’ve been feeling like I’m going mad for being so angry and concerned when it seems like I’m the only one who gives a monkey’s about any of this, but I guess Mary feels the same way even if she doesn’t show it. _

_ Speaking of all that, you’ll never guess who I ran into this morning… _

Lily slipped on her sunglasses as she ambled down her driveway and out onto her road. Duncan trotted ahead of her, sniffing at bushes and peeing on the neighbors’ mailbox. She glanced up at the cloudless sky as the sun warmed her bare shoulders, feeling grateful for this quintessential summer day after a week of gloom and rain. Her mind drifted to her latest letter from James, currently tucked into her Potions textbook after she had read the pages of that familiar, narrow cursive no fewer than three times. She had the sudden, wild desire to ask him to meet up - they could go to Diagon Alley, or maybe to Sirius’s flat, or maybe he could even come here - but she pushed this thought away without allowing herself to dwell on it. They did not have that sort of friendship, and letters would have to be enough until September.

She turned left at the end of her road and followed the path that led to the park she used to visit as a child. The grass was unkempt and overgrown, and she had to watch her step to avoid empty beer cans and other rubbish, but it was the closest to nature Cokeworth got, and Duncan always enjoyed it down here. She paused next to the swingset as she noticed a figure down by the river, a very familiar and unwelcome figure.  _ Bloody hell.  _

Her first instinct was to flee, but the moment she took a step backwards he turned his head and looked straight at her. His gaze bore through her and she froze, unable to move or even think about how to proceed. Her hold on the leash loosened, and Duncan, sensing freedom, tugged free and bounded across the park.  _ Bloody fucking hell. _

Lily sighed, steeling herself for what was sure to be an awkward and unpleasant conversation, and set off after the dog, calling his name and trying to avoid those piercing, dark eyes that were still trained on her. She smiled when she caught up to Duncan and reached for his leash, but stopped when she realized it wasn’t trailing free on the ground, but was held tightly by a pale, long-fingered hand.

“He remembers me,” Snape said, glancing down at Duncan with disinterest and taking a step backwards to avoid the dog’s wagging tail. “He always liked me.”

“He’s a bloody labrador, Severus, he likes everyone,” Lily snapped, glaring at her dog as if he had betrayed her. “I dunno why he ever bothered, though, seeing as you refuse to so much as pet him.” 

As if to demonstrate her point, Duncan began licking Snape’s hand. “I’m not a dog person,” he replied, snatching his hand away and wiping the slobber on his trousers. 

“That should’ve been a dead giveaway that you’re a shitty person,” she said, finally meeting his eye and seeing the hurt that flashed across his face at her harsh words. “Never trust someone who’s not a dog person.”

“You used to trust me,” he said, his eyes pleading.

“I misjudged you. It happens. We used to be friends, and now we’re not. I don’t know why you think I’d want to talk to you here, now, when I haven’t spoken to you in over a year.” She shook her head in disgust. “Give me my dog, back, Severus. I’m done talking to you.”

“I thought maybe, if we talked here, without all the distractions-”

“Distractions?” she scoffed. “Is that what you call it? Did you see  _ The Daily Prophet  _ yesterday? Hear about what your little friends did to that Muggle family in Bristol?”

“They’re not my little friends,” he protested. “I had nothing to do with that.” He reached out, but she stepped backwards and his hand brushed only air.

“That’s what you stand for. That’s what you believe in,” she insisted. “That’s what you’ll be doing once you leave school, don’t try to deny it! That could’ve been my family, Severus. That could’ve been me. But you don’t care, do you? You don’t give a fuck about what happens to other people, as long as you’re safe!” Duncan looked at her curiously, his head cocked to the side, and only then did she realize she’d been shouting.

“That’s not true, of course I care!” He wrung his hands together, forgetting about the dog leash in his distress, but Duncan seemed intrigued by the dispute and made no move to run away.

“Then get out now, while you still can,” Lily urged. “Before it’s too late. Before you’re the one slaughtering Muggles for ‘the cause.’” She stared at him, her eyes bright and her chest heaving. “But don’t do it on my account, because I stopped caring about what you do last year when you called me a Mudblood in front of all my friends.” She bent down and seized the leash before whirling around and striding away across the park. 

She kept her head held high, refusing to look back, and didn’t slow her pace until she reached her house and fumbled to unclip the leash from Duncan’s collar before running to her room, slamming the door, and collapsing onto her bed.

She lay there for a few minutes, alternating between anger and profound sadness as tears rolled down her cheeks and splashed onto the bedspread. She ached for their ruined friendship, and for the ideology that had torn it apart, and for the Muggle family in Bristol. She was trying to banish the image of Snape’s desperate face that was prominent in her mind and the sound of his words that played on a loop in her head when she felt warm breath on her arm and heard a soft thump against the bed.

“Come here, Duncan,” she murmured, patting the bed and shifting over so he could curl up next to her. She buried her face in his fur and listened to his familiar snuffling, grunting sounds as her shoulders shook with sobs. She was so wrapped up in her own sorrow that she almost missed the gentle tapping outside of her window. Frowning, she glanced up, then rolled off the bed and hurried over to open the window and admit the barn owl. She removed the letter from the owl’s leg and gave her an Owl Treat, then watched her fly away into the bright afternoon. Smiling through her tears, she returned to the bed to read the letter.

_ Dear Evans, _

_ I realized about five minutes after I sent the first letter that I forgot to tell you a corny joke. I was having trouble thinking of one, so I meant to go back and add it in, but I was so eager to send the letter that I completely forgot. I know, it’s unforgivable, but hopefully you can look past it just this once. To make up for it, I will include two jokes. _

_ Joke #1: What do you call a fly without wings? A walk. _

_ Joke #2: What’s brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation. _

_ Sorry they’re both terrible, but I hope they brighten your day anyway.  _

_ -Potter _

She sat holding the letter long after she finished reading it before folding it up and placing it on her bedside table to return to later. She glanced in the mirror over her dresser and laughed. Her eyes were red and puffy, and streaks of black mascara lined both cheeks, yet she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

_ Dear Evans, _

_ I’m going to start with the joke so I don’t forget like last time: What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick. _

_ I’d also like to say that if I ever have the pleasure of meeting your dog, I’m going to pet him for a good five minutes at least. Actually, you’d better give him a good pet for me, just in case I never get to meet him. You’re absolutely right, you can’t trust someone who’s not a dog person. You know my opinion of Snape, so I won’t say too much, except that I’m sorry the conversation upset you (yes, even though you didn’t explicitly say that, I know enough to be able to literally read between the lines). I hate the thought of you being sad, especially over someone like Snivellus who doesn’t even deserve the time of day. Your dog should’ve bitten that greasy git’s hand off, but he’s probably too well-behaved to do that. I suppose I’ll have to teach him a lesson myself when we get back to school. To think he had the fucking nerve to try to talk to you when he treated you like that last year, and then tried to act all innocent when we all know what he gets up to, what he’s involved in, it just makes me want to hex him into bloody oblivion. Sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t say much about this, but now I’m all fired up. _

_ As far as the tattoo goes, are you suggesting having Sirius’s name tattooed on my arse isn’t a bloody brilliant tattoo, because if so I am deeply offended. I’ll have you know I’m proud of that tattoo, and if you don’t like it then maybe we shouldn’t be friends. Just kidding (or am I?), but you’ll have to wait to find out what it is. _

_ Sirius is driving the motorbike to my house today. We think we’ve figured out the glitches with getting it to fly, so we’re going to test it out in my yard… _

James strolled across his lawn and out to the Quidditch pitch, his broom slung over his shoulder and a Quaffle tucked under his arm. Sirius was due to arrive soon, so he figured he could get in a bit of flying while he waited. When he reached the pitch he mounted his broom and did a couple of laps, enjoying the feeling of the wind in his hair and the sun on his face as he swooped and dove, putting his skills to the test before returning for the Quaffle. He had just managed a behind the back shot through the left hoop when he heard the faint sound of an engine and spotted Sirius’s motorbike coming up the driveway. He waved, then landed his broom and sat on the grass to wait for Sirius to join him.

“Hullo, Padfoot,” he said, after Sirius had parked the motorbike and joined him by the pitch. “I wish you’d seen this excellent shot I just made. Behind the back mid-dive! It was brilliant.”

“Show me,” Sirius said, sprawling out on the grass.

“Nah, doubt I could do it again.” He ran a hand through his hair and grinned at Sirius, squinting against the bright sunlight. “How was the ride over?”

“Excellent, once I passed all the idiots who don’t know how to drive,” Sirius replied, scowling. “I can’t wait until I can fly over all of those arseholes. Speaking of which, are you ready to try this?” He jerked his head in the direction of the motorbike and grinned.

James nodded and got to his feet. “I can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner. It seems so obvious.”

Sirius frowned and stood, then began walking back toward the motorbike. “It does, doesn’t it? I dunno. I’m afraid it’s too obvious. It seemed so perfect when we were talking about it yesterday, but…”

“Nah, it’ll work, have a bit of faith,” James assured him. He strode over to the motorbike and stood studying it for a moment before pulling his wand from his pocket. “Should we do it at the same time, do you think?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Sirius took his wand from his pocket and gave James the barest hint of a nod, then in unison they muttered incantations that produced the same golden glow as before. This time they each focused on a different area of the motorbike, then followed this up with a different spell. Once they had finished, they stood back and surveyed the motorbike for a moment before Sirius grew impatient and hopped on.

“I’ll be ready,” James said, “although I don’t think you’ll need it. I know it worked.”

Sirius nodded. “I think so too.” He turned on the engine and drove a ways down the driveway before taking off into the air. He drove in a slow loop around the house and the yard, poised for the telltale shuddering that indicated the motorbike was about to fall out of the air, but it never came. He drove straight up into the air, then dove down with a whoop of exhilaration. When he landed next to James, they were both grinning. Without being asked, James slid onto the back of the motorbike and Sirius took off again.

They circled the house and grounds, going higher and higher until the flowerbeds and swimming pool and stone walkways appeared tiny. Sirius went into a steep incline, then straightened out before taking the motorbike into a dive. He pulled up straight again, then did another lap around the house, spotting Fleamont and Euphemia standing in the driveway and pointing up at them. He grinned and waved, then descended to land next to them.

“You didn’t tell us you were going to make it fly!” Euphemia exclaimed, rushing over to hug Sirius after he’d hopped off the motorbike. “You just said you were going to ‘tinker with it and make some adjustments.’” She released Sirius, then crossed her arms and fixed the two boys with her version of a stern glare, which was closer to amused exasperation.

“Well, it’s us,” James said, climbing down and shrugging. “I figured you’d just assume that meant making it fly.” He gave the motorbike an affectionate pat. “We made it extra fast, too.”

“Of course you did,” Fleamont said, embracing Sirius before admiring the motorbike. “It’s really something, Sirius. How fast does it go?”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Want to find out?” He jumped back onto the motorbike and patted the seat behind him.

Fleamont grinned and sat behind Sirius. “Maybe just a quick ride, then?”

“Are you sure about this?” Euphemia eyed the motorbike doubtfully. “It seems a bit dangerous.”

“Oh, it’s fine, Mum, don’t you trust him?” James said. “It’s perfectly safe. Even Remus rode it.”

“It’ll be great, you’ll love it,” Sirius said, starting the engine and taking off down the drive before she had time to express further reservations.

“He took Remus flying in that thing?” she asked, turning to James after Sirius and Fleamont had roared out of sight.

“Well, no, but only because we hadn’t gotten it to fly reliably yet,” James replied. “We only figured that out today.”

“Today?” She gaped at him, a pained expression on her face. “James, are you trying to torture your poor mother? Honestly, you boys are going to be the death of me. What if it’s not safe? What if you haven’t done it properly and they crash?”

“Relax, we know what we’re doing,” James said, shrugging. “And when we don’t, we mess around with it until we figure it out. Besides, they didn’t actually say they were going to fly. Maybe he just took him down the road and back.”

As if on cue, they heard the sound of a motor and looked up to see the motorbike soaring overhead, Fleamont waving furiously.

James chuckled. “Well, I should’ve expected that. But it’ll be fine.”

She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know why he can’t just ride a broom.”

“Well, it’s Sirius, Mum. He likes things that are loud and flashy and dangerous. A broom doesn’t fit those criteria. He’s really good at driving it, though.” He glanced sideways at her, a sheepish smile on his face. “I’ll stick to flying my broom.”

“Merlin, James, you tried driving it, didn’t you?” She shook her head, exasperated. “Was it a disaster?”

He grimaced. “It was not what I’d call successful. Sirius was really good about it, though, he didn’t even shout at me, even though it was my fault because I didn’t bother listening to his instructions.”

“You didn’t listen?” she asked, chuckling. “I don’t believe it!” She gazed up at the sky and watched Sirius steer the motorbike around the Quidditch pitch. “He seems really happy.”

“Yeah, he is,” James said, nodding. He smiled to himself as he considered a possible reason for his friend’s happiness, but he kept it to himself. If Sirius wanted to tell Fleamont and Euphemia about Mary, he would, but it wasn’t James’s place to do so.

When Sirius and Fleamont returned, pink-cheeked and elated, the four of them wandered into the kitchen and gathered around the small, circular table that they much preferred to the sprawling mahogany monstrosity in the formal dining room that could seat twenty people. Fleamont and Euphemia read  _ The Daily Prophet  _ (Fleamont took the sports section for himself and pulled out the crossword for Euphemia) while James and Sirius discussed the prospects for an upcoming match between the Ballycastle Bats and the Chudley Cannons.

“All I’m saying is, just because their last match against Ballycastle wasn’t great-”

“They lost 300-10, Padfoot,” James interjected. “‘Wasn’t great’ is the understatement of the century.”

“Just because it wasn’t great,” Sirius continued, ignoring James, “that doesn’t mean this match is going to be the same. Their new Seeker’s looking really promising, and all right, the Beaters still can’t defend for shit, but-”

“But you’ll just keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best?” James suggested, quoting the team’s motto.

“Fuck off,” Sirius snapped.

James held up his hands. “No need to get so bloody defensive, I’m just saying-”

“If you two can’t discuss Quidditch without swearing at each other, then don’t discuss it at all. Now help me with this.” Euphemia peered down at the crossword and frowned. “I need an eight letter word for a poisonous color-changing mollusk native to Africa.”

“Streeler,” Sirius said, still scowling. “Hey, that reminds me. Are you going to be at the beach house at all this week?”

“Of course, a streeler, I knew that!” She penciled it in, then glanced up. “Sorry, what? Oh, no, we’re not going until the end of next week. Why?”

Sirius kept his face neutral. “I thought I might go and have a camp out on the beach. Use the tent you forced on me, you know?”

“Of course, you know you’re welcome there any time. Are you going with James?” she asked.

“No, with, er, someone else,” he replied, leaning back in his chair. 

“Do I know her?” She studied his face, and his reaction told her the assumption about his companion’s gender had been correct. 

“Nope,” Sirius said.

“Should I know her?” she persisted.

“Nope,” Sirius repeated.

“Well, all right, then, enjoy the beach with your mystery girl,” she said, grinning at his surly stubbornness. “Funny how you’re the complete opposite of this one.” She gestured at James. “He never shuts up about the letters he’s been getting from Lily Evans.”

“Oh, I know,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “He treats me to a full read-through and an analysis every time he gets a new one.”

“Hey!” James said indignantly, looking from Euphemia to Sirius. 

“We’re only joking, love,” Euphemia said.

“Yeah, we love you, mate, and we can’t wait until you two are actually dating so we can continue to tease you mercilessly,” Sirius added, clapping James on the back. 

Fleamont set down the newspaper and reached for a sandwich. “How do you think the Ballycastle Cannons match is going to play out, eh?” he asked, flashing James and Sirius a mischievous smile. “Think the Cannons will be able to score more than ten points this time?”

Sirius frowned. “I can’t tell if you’re having a go at me or if you were completely oblivious to our conversation a few minutes ago.”

“Take a guess, then cross your fingers and hope for the best,” Fleamont suggested.

Euphemia rapped her husband on the head with her crossword and laughed. “Don’t be an arsehole, Fleamont.”

“Oi! How come you’re allowed to swear at the table?” James demanded.

“Because I make the rules,” she said cheerfully. “Now help me with this one: Quaffle tampering, fourteen letters.”

Later Sirius and James wandered out to the pool to smoke, after exhausting the Quidditch discussion and helping Euphemia finish the entire crossword. They leaned back in a pair of lounge chairs and smoked in silence for a minute, watching the twinkling fairy lights reflecting on the smooth surface of the pool. The faint sound of a Celestina Warbeck song drifted out to them from the living room, mingling with the sound of Fleamont’s laughter from an upstairs window. James took a long drag on his cigarette and slid down even further in his chair, so relaxed that he felt he could easily fall asleep.

“So you’re taking Macdonald to the beach house,” he said eventually, breaking the silence.

“Yup,” Sirius said, exhaling a long stream of smoke and watching it dissipate into the night.

“How come you didn’t mention it before?” James asked, studying Sirius’s expression.

Sirius shrugged. “I dunno. It didn’t seem important.”

“What are you two going to do out there?” 

“I dunno, probably go swimming, smoke a joint, shag a bunch.” He ground out his cigarette, then stretched out and rested his hands behind his head.

“Are you going to stop at The Lonely Beach for ice cream?” James persisted.

“Most likely.” He glanced sideways at James and sighed. “Don’t bloody look at me like that.”

James feigned innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do. It’s that smug look, like you know something but you won’t just come out and say it. Mum and Dad do it too, and it drives me fucking mad.” He glared at James, who burst into laughter.

“I assure you, there’s no smugness here. I think it’s great that you’re going to have a lovely beach getaway with a girl who you most definitely have no romantic feelings for whatsoever,” James said as he ran a hand through his hair and grinned.

“Don’t be an arsehole, Prongs,” Sirius replied, grinning in spite of himself. 

“I can’t help it,” James said, shrugging. He hesitated, then ventured, “Do I really talk about Evans too much? I can stop - well, all right, I can try to do it less, as there’s very little chance I’ll be able to stop altogether.”

Sirius swung his legs over the side of the chair and turned to face James. “Prongs, I was just giving you shit earlier. Do you talk about Evans all the time? Of course you do. But don’t stop on my account. I’m your best mate, I’m supposed to listen to you going on and on about the same thing all the time. Just do me a favor, all right?”

“Sure, what?”

Sirius stood and offered James a hand up. “Stop having a go at the bloody Cannons, for fuck’s sake!”

James grasped Sirius’s hand and pulled himself to his feet. “I’ll do my best. No promises, though.”

“I suppose that’s better than nothing.” Sirius slipped his hands into his pockets and jerked his head in the direction of the house. “Want to go inside? I fancy a snack.”

  
  



	7. Ridiculous and Unnecessary Items Are My Favorite Sort of Purchase

_Dear Potter,_

_Sorry I haven’t written for a bit. As you might’ve guessed, I was a bit angry with you._

Lily reread the two sentences, then crumpled the parchment and tossed it onto the floor in irritation. This was her third attempt at a letter, but she couldn’t seem to find the right words to express the tangle of emotions she felt. Sighing, she stood and began to get ready for her afternoon in London.

A half hour later, Lily stood outside Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor, scanning the crowded sidewalk for a sign of Mary. She glanced at her watch, wondering if Mary would be coming via Muggle Underground or bus. Her thoughts drifted to her letter to James, sitting half-finished on her bedside table. She hoped he hadn’t been too upset by her week-long silence. Now she felt it had been rather silly to let his words upset her, but at the time she had been seething with rage. She began to replay the words of his letter in her mind, then looked up as the deafening roar of a motorbike jarred her from her thoughts.

“Hi!” Mary called, hopping down from Sirius’s motorbike and bounding over to her. “Sorry I’m a bit late.” She ran a hand through her wild curls in an attempt to tame them. “That’s why Black drove me, otherwise it would’ve taken me a bit to walk here from his flat.”

“It’s my fault she’s late,” Sirius added as he parked the bike and joined the two girls. “We were-”

“It’s all right, I don’t need details,” Lily interjected. “I can fill in the blanks for myself, thanks.”

Mary giggled, but Sirius crossed his arms and assumed an offended air. “For your information, I was going to say we were engaged in a rousing discussion about modern developments in the field of potions, but feel free to make whatever vulgar assumptions you like, Evans.” He turned to Mary, his hand resting on her waist for a moment. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Black, would you like to join us?” Lily blurted, surprising even herself.

Mary and Sirius looked at each other in surprise. “Yeah, all right,” Sirius said, shrugging. “I suppose I can find room in my busy schedule. That is, if it’s all right with Macdonald.”

“Course it’s all right with me, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Oh, I dunno, I thought you might want some girl time to fill Evans in on all the excellent shagging we’ve done lately,” he replied, smirking at Lily.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Black, do you realize that bragging about your skills in the bedroom makes me assume you’re just trying to talk yourself up to compensate for the fact that you’re a subpar lover?”

“He’s not,” Mary said, grinning. “But if you’ve been listening to me for the past year, you already know that.” She glanced sideways at Sirius. “You are far too bloody sure of yourself for your own good, but that’s partly my fault for complimenting you so much.”

“You’re both just the worst, you know that?” Lily shook her head in exasperation. “Come on, let’s get some ice cream.”

They took their ice creams to the picnic tables outside the shop, basking in the warm sunshine and trying to devour the dripping ice cream cones before they melted all over their hands. After a few minutes, Sirius took a bite of his cone and looked over at Lily.

“So, Evans, are we going to talk about the way you’ve been torturing poor James?” he asked, his serious expression somewhat diminished by his mouth full of waffle cone.

She started, nearly dropping her mint chocolate chip ice cream onto her lap. “What do you mean, torturing him? I haven’t done anything! I haven’t even written to him in about a week.”

Mary looked from Lily to Sirius, her eyes wide with curiosity, but she remained silent as she ate her ice cream.

“That’s what I mean,” Sirius replied. “When someone writes you a letter, it’s common courtesy to respond in a timely manner.” 

“Thanks for the etiquette lesson, Black,” she snapped. She was finding it difficult to concentrate over the sound of him crunching his cone. “I’m going to respond to the letter, I was just, well, deciding what to say.”

“I can help with that.” Sirius popped the last bit of cone into his mouth, then continued. “‘Dear Potter, I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner. To make up for it, I’d like to shag you and then cook you a nice dinner.’”

She rolled her eyes. “First of all, I don’t know how to cook-”

“Right, just the shagging, then,” Sirius said, grinning. “Come on, Evans. He’ll kill me for saying this, but the suspense is killing him, wondering if you’re angry at him, thinking he’s messed up your friendship. Just send him a bloody letter.”

Lily mulled this over for a moment, then looked down to find her ice cream cone had plopped onto the ground. “Oh, bloody hell,” she muttered, cleaning it up with a wave of her wand. “All right, I’ll think about it.”

“Good, because I can only tolerate mopey James for so long. After a while the mopiness becomes contagious, you know?” 

“Right, because he’s never had to put up with you being mopey?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

  
“I’m never mopey,” Sirius said. “I prefer the term - hang on, Macdonald, what’s the term I prefer?” He frowned, racking his brain.

“Idiotic? Obnoxious? Dramatic?” Mary licked her ice cream and shrugged. “Any of those fit.”

“Rude.” He thought for a moment. “Oh, I know, it’s brooding! Same idea, but less whiny, more mysterious and sexy.”

Lily shook her head. “I can see why you’ve spent half your summer with this one,” she said, grinning at Mary. “He’s really something, isn’t he?”

After they finished their ice cream they strolled down the street, looking through the shop windows and wandering with no specific destination in mind. As they walked past a display of various hats, Sirius stopped and pointed at a red cowboy hat. 

“Macdonald, you need that hat.”

She took in the hat and snorted with laughter. “Why?”

“I dunno, I just think it’s very _you.”_ He continued to gaze at the hat.

“I assure you it’s not,” she replied.

“Well, then, Evans, you should get it,” he amended. “It’d look great with your hair.”

“I’m not really a cowboy hat person,” she said. 

“Well, someone needs to get that bloody hat,” Sirius insisted, pulling open the door of the shop and ushering them inside. “Come on.”

He tried on the red cowboy hat, then selected a glittery fedora for Lily and a dragonhide top hat for Mary. They posed in the mirror that hung above the rack of hats, then burst into laughter. Mary leaned against Sirius, wiping away tears of mirth, and Lily doubled over in laughter and lost her fedora. Sirius got himself under control, then took another glance in the mirror. 

“I dunno, I think I pull it off,” he mused, then nodded in satisfaction. “Yup, definitely pull it off. I’m getting it.” 

He brought the hat up to the counter and smiled at the witch who had been watching their display of merriment with irritation. “We’ll take those ones, too,” he said, pointing at the fedora clutched in Lily’s hand and the top hat still perched atop Mary’s head.

“No, don’t be stupid,” Lily protested, setting the fedora back on the rack. “You’re not buying me that. It’s ridiculous and unnecessary.”

“Ridiculous and unnecessary items are my favorite sort of purchase,” Sirius insisted, handing a fistful of coins to the witch before heading for the door with the red cowboy hat perched on his head like he’d been born to wear it. “Come on, the hats are paid for so there’s no use protesting.”

Lily looked at Mary and shrugged, then retrieved the fedora from the rack, set it on her head, and followed Sirius out of the store with Mary close behind, still giggling.

Sirius led them across the street and down the street before entering Quality Quidditch Supplies.

“What do you need in here?” Lily asked, peering to examine a set of Bludgers and jumping backwards when the box containing them began to shake and rattle.

“Well, probably some Quidditch supplies.” He gestured around at the various displays and grinned. “Quality ones, to be more specific.”

“Why did we invite you again?” Mary asked. She watched as many golden snitches fluttered around in a large glass dome floating in midair. “Snitches are so pretty, aren’t they?”

“I assume you invited me so I would foot the bill for your ridiculous hats,” he said, shrugging. “Evans, to answer your question, we’re here to get something for James, because he’s going to be furious he missed out on this.” 

He bent to examine a whistle engraved with the Ballycastle Bats logo, and Lily was grateful he was occupied and wouldn’t see the irrepressible smile that had spread over her face at the mention of James’s name. She glanced over at Mary; her eyes were still fixed on the Snitches, and Lily took the opportunity to rearrange her face into a neutral expression.

“How about a Quaffle?” she suggested. She spotted a bin of Quaffles piled high and picked one up, tossing it into the air as she had seen James done many times. 

“He’s got probably thirty Quaffles.” He held up a hand at the look of incredulity on her face. “No, I’m not kidding. He likes to have one in every room, plus the ones he uses for actual Quidditch purposes, plus a couple of signed ones he got from matches.” He shook his head in exasperation, but his tone was affectionate. “Bloke’s mad. Absolutely bonkers.”

“How about a set of Chudley Cannons robes?” Mary suggested, pointing to a mannequin in the window of the shop dressed head to toe in orange. “Does James support them, too?”

“No, he supports the Ballycastle Bats,” Lily said without thinking, then blushed when Sirius widened his eyes in surprise and flashed her a knowing grin.

“Nice one, Evans,” Sirius said with a nod. “You must be paying attention.”

She made a dismissive hand gesture. “Everyone knows that, he’s always banging on about them.” Trying to take attention away from her familiarity with James’s Quidditch preferences, she strode over to a shelf of broomstick servicing supplies. “How about some broom handle polish?” She picked up a jar and held it out to Sirius. “And ooh look, a handbook on do-it-yourself broom care.” She pulled the book from the shelf and began paging through it. “It says here you should service your broom at least once a week.” She flipped several more pages. “You should polish your broom handle with firm, even strokes, did you know that?” She glanced up to find Sirius had dissolved into hysterical laughter. “What’s so funny?” she demanded, and when Sirius was unable to reply she turned to Mary. “What’s wrong with him?”

Mary giggled. “He’s an immature idiot, and what you said sounded kind of sexual.” She strode over to a rack of broomsticks and began demonstrating proper polishing techniques. “‘Polish your broom handle with firm, even strokes,’” she repeated, smirking. “I mean, can you blame him for laughing?”

“Bloody hell, you’ve got to stop,” Sirius gasped. “I can’t fucking breathe.” He took a moment to regain his composure, then picked up a jar of broom handle polish and the do-it-yourself broomcare book. “I’m getting both. He’s going to love it. I think he’s actually out of polish at the moment anyway. Evans, you’re a genius.” 

“You’re not going to tell him-” Lily spluttered, her face bright red. “I mean, I didn’t mean - I don’t want him to think-”

“Relax,” he said, patting her on the shoulder and grinning. “I’ll tell him your idea was completely innocent, and I’m the one with the filthy mind.” He brought the purchases up to the counter, then returned several minutes later clutching a bag. “Although,” he continued as they left the store and returned to the blinding sunlight outside, “he wouldn’t exactly hate the idea of you thinking about his, er, _broom handle_.” He glanced sideways at her and winked.

“Give it a rest, Black,” Mary said, shoving his shoulder. “She’s about to die from bloody embarrassment.”

“Am I wrong, though?” he persisted. 

“No, you’re definitely not wrong,” she said, grinning at Lily. “I assume it would make his day.”

Lily covered her face with her hands, her cheeks flaming. “I hate you both. Might as well head home now.”

“Oh, don’t be like that, Evans,” Sirius said. “I’ll make it up to you. How’d you like to go for a ride on my motorbike?”

She glared at him. “Is that some sort of euphemism for shagging?”

He laughed. “Now who has the dirty mind? No, I meant an actual ride on my actual motorbike. I dunno if James mentioned it in his letters, but we’ve got it to fly now, and it’s brilliant.”

“It’s pretty excellent,” Mary confirmed. “You’ll love it. It’s such a rush, but it’s also really peaceful up there.”

“I don’t know,” Lily said, but Sirius ignored this and led them back to the spot in front of Florean Fortescue’s where he had left his motorbike. Lily appraised the motorbike, her eyes full of doubt. 

“I dunno,” she said. “Is it safe?”

“Course it is, you think I’d put your life at risk? James would bloody kill me if I let something happen to you.” He lifted the seat to reveal a storage compartment, then placed his Quality Quidditch Supplies bag inside before removing his hat and setting it on top. “You’ll want to put your hats in here, otherwise you’ll lose them in about a second and that would be a tragedy.”

Mary and Lily both stacked their hats on top of Sirius’s, Lily giggling because she had completely forgotten the silly thing was on her head. 

“It seems like this shouldn’t all fit in there without being crushed,” she observed after she and Mary both added their purses to the compartment.

“Undetectable Extension Charm,” he said, shutting the lid. 

“Isn’t that technically illegal?” Lily asked, impressed in spite of herself, because that was a tricky charm, and he certainly hadn’t learned it from Flitwick. 

“Evans, many aspects of this motorbike are technically illegal. It’s more fun that way.” He slid onto the motorbike, then patted the seat behind him. “Do you want to sit in between us? If you’re nervous you might feel more comfortable that way, because there’s absolutely no chance of you falling off if you’re sandwiched in between the two of us, you know?”

She hesitated, weighing the pros and cons. It did sound preferable to sitting on the end, and yet this would mean close physical contact with Sirius, which felt somehow wrong to her, although she couldn’t say why. “Yeah, I suppose,” she decided after several moments, and she climbed up and settled behind him.

“You’ll have to slide up a bit more,” Mary said, squeezing in behind her. “My arse is hanging off the end.”

Lily scooted forward a few more inches, trying to hold her body away from Sirius while still allowing Mary enough room to keep her from falling off the motorbike. She was close enough to notice he smelled nice, although not as nice as… someone else. She braced her hands on the side of the seat and tried to hold herself steady.

“You’re going to have to hang on to me,” Sirius said, looking back over his shoulder and grinning. “Don’t worry, you won’t give me the wrong idea.” 

Lily chuckled and placed her hands on Sirius’s waist, her grip tentative as her fingers rested on the smooth surface of his leather jacket.

“Hold on tighter than that, Evans. I wasn’t kidding about James murdering me if you fall off.”

She sighed and tightened her grip, wrapping her arms all the way around his waist and clasping her hands together.

“Ooh, Evans, no need to get so handsy,” Sirius teased, glancing back at her and smirking, and she yanked her hands away, blushing. “Merlin, I’m joking, it’s just so easy. Put your hands back exactly the way they were, and I promise I’m done giving you shit for the moment.”

Lily replaced her grip on Sirius’s waist while Mary giggled.

“You all right back there, Macdonald?” Sirius called.

“Yeah, I’m good, just amused by the idea of Lily getting handsy with you,” Mary said as she adjusted her grip on Lily’s waist.

“All right, then, hang on, both of you.” He started the engine and took off down the street, keeping his pace uncharacteristically slow as they left Diagon Alley and emerged into Muggle London. Lily watched as they passed business and residential buildings and navigated around cars and buses and people going about their day. To her surprise she found Sirius to be a skilled driver, and she felt no fear, only excitement and interest as they sped onto the highway and overtook a line of cars. As their speed increased, Lily instinctively tightened her grip on Sirius’s waist, but the feeling of the wind tugging at her hair and whipping her face exhilarated her, and she tried to peer over Sirius’s shoulder to see the road ahead of them.

After hurtling down the highway for a mile or two, Sirius took an exit and drove down narrow side streets until he found a suitable place to activate the invisibility booster and take off into the air. As the tires left the ground, Lily felt a leap of anticipation in the pit of her stomach, and she watched as the buildings and streets below grew smaller and smaller as the motorbike continued to climb. When Sirius was satisfied with the altitude he levelled out the motorbike and turned around to grin at Lily.

“All right, Evans?” he shouted.

“Merlin, watch where you’re driving, Black!” she called back, her eyes wide with alarm.

“It’s fine, I know what I’m doing,” he assured her. “All right back there, Macdonald?”

Mary removed a hand from Lily’s waist to give him a thumbs up.

“Right, Evans, you up for some real speed, and maybe something a bit more exciting?”

“Ooh, do the thing I like!” Mary urged.

“I suppose I’m up for anything,” Lily said with a shrug. 

“I’m going to remember that you said that,” Sirius said before turning back around and twisting the throttle to send the motorbike shooting forward. They flew in a straight line for a few minutes, the icy air refreshing after the balmy afternoon heat, and Lily realized she understood what Mary had said about flying being a rush but also peaceful. Being up here with just Sirius and Mary, with the only sound the roar of the motorbike and the rush of the wind, she felt almost like they had left the world behind. She removed her hands from Sirius’s waist and threw them into the air, emitting a little whoop of joy.

A minute later Sirius called “Hang on!” before bringing the motorbike into a steep climb and then diving down and executing several flips in midair. When they levelled out, Lily had her face pressed against Sirius’s back and her hair was a tousled mess, but she had loved the thrilling stomach-drop and the momentary confusion of not knowing which way was up and which way was down.

“Black!” she shouted. “Can you do that again?”

He glanced back and gave her a thumbs up, then obliged.

When they returned to Diagon Alley Lily was sorry to climb down from the motorbike, although she was glad not to be crammed between her two friends any longer. As she raked her hands through her wild hair and adjusted her clothes, she looked at Sirius and grinned.

“Thanks, Black. I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.” She hesitated, then continued. “You’re actually a really good driver.” 

“No need to sound so surprised,” he replied as he reached into the compartment under the seat to retrieve their belongings. 

“I knew you’d love it,” Mary said, giving up on taming her hair and pulling it back into a messy ponytail. “You should let James take you for a ride on his broom. I bet you’d love that too.” She held up her hand when she noticed Lily’s skeptical expression. “And before you ask, no, that was not a euphemism for shagging.”

“See you later, Evans. And careful Apparating in that hat, because it looks brilliant on you and I’d hate to see it get splinched,” Sirius said, setting the glittery fedora on her head.

When Lily got home she went straight to her room and took out a fresh piece of parchment. She dipped her quill into the ink and thought for a moment, then began to write, a smile creeping onto her face with each word.

_Dear Potter,_

_That joke might be the worst of all the terrible jokes you’ve told me. Here’s a good one: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead._

_I gave Duncan a good pet for you as well as a belly rub and some treats, so don’t worry, he’s not deprived or neglected by any means. Sometimes I wish Hogwarts allowed dogs because everyone would love him and I miss him a lot during the school year, but I think my parents would be lost without him._

_Sorry it’s taken so long for me to write back. To be honest, I was a bit angry with you at first. Severus isn’t my friend anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m fine with you going after him, and I certainly don’t want you doing it on my account. Once I gave it a bit of time, though, I realized that you were just upset because I was upset, and you said some things in the heat of the moment that you maybe (hopefully) regret now. I went into London to meet Mary and Sirius ended up spending the afternoon with us (I’m sure he’s told you by now), and we talked a bit and it made me realize that it’s pretty shit of me to not write back to you. I really enjoy our friendship and would hate for anything to get in the way of that, so what do you say we agree to never talk about Snape again?_

_I assume by now you’ve seen Sirius’s new hat that he just had to have. How much do you want to bet we end up with a photo of him at a party this year wearing nothing but that damn hat (and maybe pants, if we’re lucky)? He forced me and Mary to get silly hats of our own…_

“Prongs? You in here?” Peter knocked on the bedroom door, then pulled it open and hesitated in the doorway. “Your mum said to go right up, but…”

“Hey, Wormtail.” James lay sprawled on his bed staring up at the ceiling. A Quaffle rested on the mattress beside him, but he seemed to have lost interest even in his favorite idle pastime. He sighed, then turned to face Peter. “Come in and sit down. Moony and Padfoot should be here soon.”

“You all right, mate?” Peter asked, concern creasing his face as he took a seat on the sofa. “Is it a Quidditch thing?” He frowned, mentally recapping the latest Ballycastle Bats match. “Nah, can’t be, they just flattened the Cannons.”

“Thanks for the reminder, Wormtail,” Sirius said as he and Remus joined the other two in the bedroom. Remus sat down on the couch next to Peter, while Sirius took a seat on the edge of James’s bed. “I’m the one who should be depressed about Quidditch, that match was a bloody disaster,” he continued, shaking his head in disgust and causing his red cowboy hat to sink lower over his eyes. “No, this is another type of problem.”

“Is this an Evans problem?” Remus asked, taking in James’s dejected expression and listless posture with a mixture of sympathy and exasperation. “Merlin, Prongs, what did you do this time?”

  
“I’ve ruined everything,” James began, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, but Sirius held up a hand.

“I’ll give them the short version, Prongs. The less time we spend listening to you, the more time we have to focus on cheering you up.” James started to protest but Sirius spoke over him. “Basically Evans told him about a run-in with Snape and Prongs said some things that were perfectly true but may have upset her a bit because she hasn’t written back to him in, what, a week?”

“Eight days,” James said, running a hand through his hair and looking around at them, eyes wide.

“Right, eight days. Point is, it’s probably not as bad as you think, and I reckon she’ll write back any day now. I happen to have some inside information about that.”

“What do you mean, inside information?” James asked, frowning. “And if that hat is some sort of strange attempt to distract me or cheer me up, it’s not working.”

“First of all, I’m fond of this hat, and I look bloody good in it,” Sirius replied, looking affronted. “I bought it in Diagon Alley today. With Evans.”

James gaped at him in silence for a moment before recovering himself. “What? You saw Evans today? Did she say anything about me?”

Sirius held up a hand. “She agreed to consider writing back to you. And she helped pick out a gift for you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bottle of broom handle polish and the handbook of do-it-yourself broom care.

James accepted the gifts and examined them, then grinned. “How many dirty jokes did you make about this?” 

“Just a couple,” Sirius said, an innocent smile creeping over his face. 

James smiled down at the gift for a moment, but then his face fell and he looked up at Sirius, his eyes full of panic. “But what if she said all that just to shut you up, and she’s not planning on replying to my letter after all?”

Sirius sighed. “I highly doubt that’s true. But either way, we’re going to have fun and take your mind off it,” he said, clapping James on the back.

“I don‘t want my mind taken off it,” James protested.

“Well that’s too bad, because we’re doing it anyway.” He hopped off the bed and took the armchair across from Peter and Remus. 

“Are we doing your usual cheering method?” Peter asked, and Sirius retrieved a bottle of firewhisky from his pocket and held it up in response to his question.

“Come and sit with us, Prongs,” Remus said, gesturing at the empty spot on the sofa. “I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad as you think. You’ve made so much progress, there’s no way one letter could ruin all of that.”

James did not reply, but he heaved himself to his feet and took the empty seat next to Remus.

“Let’s play drinking games and gang up to get Padfoot really drunk,” Remus suggested. “That should cheer you up, Prongs.” 

“That’s not exactly what I had in mind,” Sirius said, frowning, but Remus waved his protests away.

“It’s for Prongs. No other choice, has to be done.” He retrieved a pack of Exploding Snap cards from a drawer and began dealing them out. “Prongs, since it’s your house, I think you should get to make a rule to start the game.”

“Do the little green man rule,” Peter said, picking up his cards and sorting them.

“No, don’t. The little green man is the dumbest bloody rule.” Sirius scowled as he picked up his cards and surveyed them. “Did you give me an awful hand on purpose, Moony?”

Remus grinned as he put his own cards in order. “Nope, just a happy coincidence.”

“All right, my rule is Sirius has to drink double,” James said. He pulled a card from his hand and placed it in the middle of the table to start the game, flashing Sirius an apologetic look. 

“If you think that’ll cheer you up,” Sirius said.“But I dunno, you sure you don’t want to gang up on Moony instead?” He watched Remus set a card on top of James’s, the sleeve of his cardigan brushing against the table and threatening to knock the pile of cards over. “Look at him. He’s just so gang up-able.”

James shook his head. “Nah, it’s a gang up on you kind of day.” His eyes fell to the card Peter had just set down. “Bad luck, Padfoot, looks like you’re drinking unless you can clear, which judging by your reaction to your hand seems highly unlikely.”

Sirius shrugged and took a long sip from the bottle. “Anything for you, Prongs.” 

By the end of the game they were all a bit tipsy, but Sirius was one step ahead of them all, and James was in a much better mood. 

“What should we play next?” Peter asked, gathering up the Exploding Snap cards and looking across the table at Sirius. “You drunk enough for chess?”

Sirius laughed. “Fuck no. Not even close.” He paused, drumming his fingers on the table as he thought. “How about Drunk Quidditch?”

James jumped up from his seat and retrieved a Quaffle and a Snitch from his closet. “Excellent idea, Padfoot. And you know what, since we’ve been ganging up on you, I’ll let you choose your teammate.” 

“Hang on, is Drunk Quidditch the one where we flew brooms in the dining room and nearly broke the chandelier?” Remus said, a dubious expression on his face. 

“No, that’s Extreme Indoor Quidditch,” James said, rolling his eyes. “And if we add Bludgers it’s Bloody Extreme Indoor Quidditch. Drunk Quidditch is the one we played in the common room the night after exams ended, don’t you remember? Evans kept shouting at us for throwing the Quaffle too close to where she was sitting?” James’s face fell at the mention of Lily’s name.

Remus shook his head, hurrying to reply and distract James. “Not sounding familiar, no, although it does sound exactly like the sort of game you’d make up.”

“Moony, you were really drunk that night,” Peter said. “It makes sense that you don’t remember. But I feel like you were unexpectedly good at this game.”

“Yeah, you’re right!” Sirius said, clapping Remus on the back. “Moony, you can be on my team. 

This night is about to turn around.”

“Okay, choose your starting places,” James called, pouring firewhisky into several glasses and handing them around. “Padfoot, you can have the bottle, so be prepared to refill our glasses as needed. Take a moment to strategize.”  
James and Peter bent their heads together as James muttered what seemed to be a very intense plan of action. He waved his arms every so often to illustrate a point. Sirius and Remus watched him for a moment, chuckling.

“So what’s our strategy?” Remus asked, grinning.

Sirius shrugged. “Try not to drop the Quaffle? Catch the Snitch if you can? I don’t see why we need a more complicated strategy than that. Let’s just see how things play out.” He grimaced. “I have a feeling I’m going to be too drunk for complicated strategies soon anyway.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” Remus nodded, then hopped up onto the coffee table. 

Sirius took the bed, while Peter took the armchair and James stood on his dresser, after moving aside an assortment of items cluttering the surface. James blew his lucky Quidditch whistle to start the game (they were not concerned about waking his parents because of the heavy silencing charms he and Sirius had fortified the room with over the years), then tossed the Quaffle to Peter. Peter caught it and James shouted “Point!” When Peter threw it back, Sirius hopped down from the bed and snatched it out of the air.

“One… two…” James began, but Sirius had returned to the bed before he reached three. “Bloody hell. Nice one, Padfoot. All right, point to you.” He raised his glass and he and Peter both took a sip, then Peter moved from the armchair to a trunk on the other side of the room.

Once Peter was settled into his new spot, Sirius nodded to Remus and sent the Quaffle his way. 

Remus caught it despite almost losing his balance. “Point,” he said, then sent it back in Sirius’s direction. 

“I don’t think so, Moony!” James shouted, jumping off the dresser and grabbing the Quaffle just before it soared into Sirius’s outstretched hand.

“Fucking hell, how’d you do that?” Remus demanded, taking a sip of his drink and moving to the armchair. “That was an insane reaction time - we didn’t even have time to count!”

“They didn’t make him Quidditch Captain because he looks good in the badge,” Sirius said, grinning and putting the bottle to his lips. 

“I do look bloody good in it, though. Point for us,” James added before clearing his throat and whipping the ball at Peter. 

“Shit!” Peter jumped down from the trunk and made a wild grab for the Quaffle, but it bounced off his hand and rolled across the floor. “I’m sorry, Prongs, I tried, but it came so fast-”

“I did give you the signal,” James said, then took a sip and climbed down from the dresser and moved across the room to the coffee table. “But it’s all right, just try to be ready for it next time.”

“What’s the signal?” Peter asked after taking a sip of his drink. “Oh, the throat clearing? Sorry, I thought the signal for a fast throw was a head scratch - no, wait, never mind, that’s for a high throw, isn’t it?”

James sighed. “Yes, but now they know the signal, so our strategy isn’t particularly helpful.” He shook his head and chuckled. “It’s all right, Wormtail, I’m pretty sure we can beat them even without our signals.” He shot a meaningful glance at Sirius, bouncing on the bed and singing along to the music, then at Remus, leaning against the back of the armchair for support.

“What an arrogant toerag thing to say,” Sirius said before bouncing too high and almost losing his balance. He righted himself and continued, speaking with perfect composure, “Especially considering we’re a point ahead of you at the moment.”

“That’s true,” James said, nodding. “But I feel like our luck’s about to change.” He lunged to the side, slopping some of his drink onto his shirt, but raised his hand in the air and cheered before opening his hand to release the Snitch.

“Damnit, Prongs!” Sirius took a sip of his drink and scowled at him across the room. “It was heading my way, too.”

“Sorry, were you expecting me to just let it fly right into your hand?” James grinned and crossed the room to refill his drink from the bottle. “You want a rematch?”

“Course we do,” Remus said. He climbed down from the armchair, catching his foot on the coffee table and throwing his arm out to avoid falling flat on his face. The other three roared with laughter, but Remus maintained a calm demeanor as he approached Sirius and held his glass out to be refilled.

“You want to revisit our strategy?” Sirius asked as he poured more firewhisky into the glass.

“Nope, it seemed to work for us just fine before Prongs got the Snitch. We’ve got this, I have a good feeling.” He turned to go and bumped into the corner of the bed.

“You going to be able to stay on your feet for this?” Sirius grinned and took a step forward, nearly falling off the bed before he grabbed the bed post for support.

“Are you?” Remus asked, laughing.

“Want to switch up the spots?” James asked, and they all rotated around to new places. He blew the whistle, then threw the ball to Peter, who stood on tiptoe on top of the dresser to catch it.

“Point,” he said, tossing it back to James, but Sirius snatched it easily out of the air without leaving the sofa.

“Nice one, Padfoot,” Remus said. “Point for us.”

“Winner’s rule,” James called, holding up a hand. 

“What’s a winner’s rule?” Remus asked, frowning.

Sirius scowled. “A bunch of James Potter bullshit.” He glanced at James. “The winner of the previous round is allowed to make a rule, which is most likely designed to target me and make me drink.”

“Not necessarily,” James said, running a hand through his hair as he thought. “Right, the person who’s had sex most recently has to take a drink.”

“No, that’s not blatantly targeting me,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “Anyone done it more recently than this morning? No? Okay, guess that’s me, then.” He raised the bottle in James’s direction before taking a sip.

“Hang on, was it just the once?” James raised his eyebrows and smirked, and Sirius grinned.

“Twice,” he replied, taking another sip. “You want details?”

“Not necessary.” James nodded at Sirius to go ahead, then made a grab for the Quaffle but missed and had to windmill his hands to keep from losing his balance.

“Point,” Sirius said as Remus caught the Quaffle. “Smooth, Prongs.”

“Shut it,” James said, diving off the armchair and intercepting the Quaffle, then scrambling back onto the armchair before Sirius got past “One…”

“Point!” James shouted, doing a silly little victory dance from his spot on the armchair, but he froze with his arms still thrown into the air when he noticed Sirius jump over the back of the sofa in pursuit of the Snitch, which was fluttering near the ceiling. 

“One…” Peter began; Sirius would have to catch the Snitch before fifteen seconds elapsed.

“Not today, Padfoot!” James vaulted over the coffee table and bounded across the room after the Snitch. They both sprang into the air at the same time, but neither caught the Snitch. Instead, they crashed down into a tangle of limbs with the Quaffle and the bottle of firewhisky rolling away in opposite directions.

“You’ll both have to drink,” Remus said, pointing at the Quaffle now resting next to the bed and the bottle of firewhisky that had rolled all the way across the room until it bounced off the door frame. “How much should it be, Wormtail?”

Peter’s face took on the slightly panicked look he always wore when asked to make a decision. “Oh, I dunno, don’t ask me.” His eyes traveled to James and Sirius, still struggling to right themselves, and his face lit up. “Hang on, what if they just drink until they decide to stop?”

“That’s genius because they’re both too stubborn and stupid to stop,” Remus said, nodding in appreciation. “Well done, Wormtail.”

“We’re not stubborn or stupid,” Sirius protested, pouring half of the remaining liquor into James’s cup.

“We certainly are not,” James agreed, clinking his glass against Sirius’s bottle. “Just stop drinking when you want, and I’ll follow your lead.”

“Or, you know, you can stop when you’re ready, and I’ll follow your lead,” Sirius said, shrugging. They both put their drinks to their lips and began to drink, watching each other to see which one would give up first. Neither one seemed keen to admit defeat, and after a minute they both drained the last drops and stood there gazing at each other with watering eyes before bursting into laughter.

“Was that brilliant or extremely stupid?” James asked, coughing and running a hand through his hair.

Sirius grinned. “Yes.” He pulled a flask from his pocket and poured a bit into James’s cup. “Come on, let’s finish the game before that hits us and we’re too drunk to stand up properly.”

Sirius returned to the couch and James hopped back up onto the armchair. 

“Who starts with the Quaffle?” Peter asked.

James thought for a minute, a bemused grin tugging up the corner of his lips. “Fuck if I know. Moony, you take it, it’s closest to you.”

Remus hopped down from the bed to retrieve the ball, careful not to trip this time, then climbed back up before tossing it to Sirius. James flung his arms out to intercept it, and Sirius tried to bat his arms away while still making a grab for the Quaffle. Remus and Peter watched in amusement and the Quaffle soared over the flailing arms and landed on the other side of the sofa.

“You’ve missed it,” Remus observed, but James and Sirius were too caught up in their scuffle to reply. “You’ve missed it,” he repeated, but his voice trailed off as he caught sight of a golden glitter over by the door. Peter noticed it too, and they both locked eyes for a moment before crashing down from their respective perches and making a run for it. Peter got there first, but he caught his foot on the edge of the rug and went sprawling. Remus navigated around the empty firewhisky bottle and the Quaffle to reach the door, then jumped straight into the air to crush the Snitch in his palm before setting down his drink and offering Peter a hand up.

“No bloody way,” Peter said, accepting the hand up and gazing at Remus in amazement. “That was brilliant.” He glanced over at James and Sirius and chuckled. “And they missed it.”

“That’s all right.” Remus released the Snitch and watched it flutter away, its wings slightly crushed from his enthusiastic grip. “At least you saw it.” He and Peter crossed the room and stood in front of the sofa, watching what had now evolved into a drunken slap fight. “The game’s over, you prats. Sit down before you fall on your arses. I think we should play Firecracker,” Remus announced.

James and Sirius let their hands drop and turned to look at him, identical looks of skepticism on their faces, while Peter merely grinned in anticipation.

“You want to play Firecracker?” James said, raising his eyebrows.

“Even after last time?” Sirius added. “I mean, you looked lovely with your eyebrows burnt off, but I thought you’d sworn off Firecracker for good?”

“Did you not see that catch I just made?” Remus asked, then grinned and shook his head. “Right. Course you didn’t. Well, it was brilliant, and I could probably never manage it again if I tried, so I feel like tonight’s my lucky night.” He sat down on the sofa and reached for the deck of cards. “Come on, sit down before I change my mind.”

They glanced at each other and shrugged, then sat down on the sofa, leaving Peter to take the armchair.

“Want to keep the same teams?” James offered.

Remus considered this for a moment. “Nah, you two can team up like usual, I’ll be with Wormtail. I have a good feeling about it.” He took a few cards from the pile and began building a tower in the middle of the table. The others joined in until they had used all the cards to build a large tower. Remus sat back and surveyed their work, careful not to make any sudden movements. 

“Do you have any more firewhisky?” Sirius asked, tipping his flask into James’s cup. “This is almost empty.” Without waiting for a reply, he crossed the room and began rummaging through James’s trunk before emerging a moment later with a bottle that was mostly full. He brought it back to the table and topped off all the glasses before returning to his seat. “All right, I’m going first.” He reached out and withdrew a card from the top pile, watching with an anxious grimace as the tower shifted slightly and breathing a sigh of relief when it held. “Sevenses chooseses,” he said, drumming his fingers on the couch cushion as he made his choice. “Moony, I choose you.”

“Thank you.” Remus raised his glass in Sirius’s direction before taking a sip, then he pulled a card from the top of the tower. “What’s two again?”

“Twofer,” Sirius replied, as if this should have been obvious.

“Does that mean I can make the two of you drink?” Remus asked hopefully.

“No, it means you and Wormtail have to drink.”

Remus sighed and clinked his glass against Peter’s. They continued for a while, beginning to build smaller towers with their own piles of cards. It became more difficult to select new cards without knocking down the center tower or their own, and it was only a matter of time before…

“Bloody hell!” Remus looked down at the three cards he had dislodged from the center tower with the sleeve of his jumper before replacing them and adding three cards from his team’s own tower. “We have to drink as well, don’t we?”

“Yup.” Peter held up his glass and they both drank while Sirius counted to three, drawing out the count to allow for maximum alcohol consumption. “You still get to pick a card. Just, you know, be careful.”

Remus pushed up his sleeve and reached out, plucking a card from the tower and studying it.

“What’s six again?” he asked, his tone innocent as he held up the card. “Is this a good one to get?”

“Fucking hell,” James said, scowling.

“You prat, you know perfectly well what a six means.” Sirius shook his head in irritation, then pulled a Knut from his pocket and tossed it at Remus’s head.

“Don’t be a sore loser Padfoot,” Remus said, his voice calm as he picked up the Knut and balanced it on the table. “This serves you right for counting so slow.” He took aim, careful to avoid the center tower, then sent the Knut spinning across the table. It hit the small tower of cards and knocked them all over as Sirius and James swore and looked on in horror.

“Nice one, Moony,” Peter said, giving him a thumbs up and an appreciative nod as James gathered up the fallen cards to count how long he and Sirius would need to drink.

The game proceeded like this for another half hour; neither team had much success keeping their towers standing, but they all had a good time forcing each other to drink. James had just flicked a parchment football and knocked down four cards despite Peter’s best attempts to make funny faces and distract him.

“Did you see that, Padfoot?” James asked, grinning as Peter and Remus groaned and took four drinks. When Sirius didn’t reply, James frowned and glanced over in time to see Sirius’s slump over in his seat, his eyes shut and a peaceful expression on his face. He slid onto the floor and his head hit the leg of the coffee table with a concerning clunk.

The three of them stared in silence for a moment before Remus pointed at Sirius’s prone form and burst into laughter.

“Merlin, Moony, at least make sure he’s alive before you laugh your arse off,” James said, unable to contain his own laughter as he knelt to check on Sirius. “All right, he appears to be fine. Laugh away.”

Remus clapped his hand over his mouth. “Bloody hell, I’m sorry, that was mean wasn’t it?” he said, leaning his head back against the sofa as he struggled to get himself under control. “I couldn’t help it. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.” He wiped away tears of laughter and straightened.

“You’re a shit friend, Moony,” James said, placing a pillow under Sirius’s head before returning to his seat. “All right, which of us is the most sober? Someone’s going to have to go downstairs for snacks.”

Peter looked around at them and stood. “This is weird, but I think it’s me for once. You think he’ll wake up if we get snacks?” He gestured at Sirius, now curled up and emitting soft snores.

“That was my thought, yeah. Thanks, Wormtail. I’d do it, but I really don’t think stairs are a good idea right now.” He tried to run his hand through his hair and only avoided poking himself in the eye because his finger bounced off his glasses. “See?” 

“You should get some pumpkin juice, too,” Remus said. He took a deep breath and plastered a serious expression on his face. “Okay. I’m done laughing now, I really am.” He tried to take a sip of his drink but somehow missed and knocked his forehead into the drinking glass, which caused him to erupt into laughter once again. Peter hurried out of the room to get the snacks, eager to return so as not to miss any more hilarity. He came back a few minutes later carrying a bag of crisps and levitating a tray laden with biscuits, clean glasses, and jugs of both pumpkin juice and water. 

“Thanks, Wormtail, you’re a real pal,” James said, beckoning him over. “Moony, drink some water before you try to knock yourself out with your glass again.”

“You drink some water,” Remus muttered, but he poured himself a glass and took a sip despite his protests.

James reached for the bag of crisps and tore it open, reaching in and grabbing some before offering it to Peter and Remus. Before either of them could take the bag, however, Sirius’s hand shot out and dove into the bag, emerging a moment later with his fingers covered in salt and clutching a handful of crushed crisps which he crammed into his mouth. The other three gaped at him for a moment, then they roared with laughter while Remus rescued the bag of crisps before Sirius could eat them all.

“You’re alive, Padfoot!” James said, clapping his friend on the back. Sirius had dragged himself into a seated position and was turning his head with slow, jerky motions, searching for his drink.

“I’m alive,” he confirmed, his words slurred and his eyes only half open. “Got any more crisps?”

Remus handed him the bag and grinned. “Your eyes weren’t even open when you made a grab for these. What if it had been, I dunno, a bag of potions ingredients?”

Sirius peered into the bag and selected a large chip. “Why would you have a bag of potions ingredients?” He rolled his eyes and popped the crisp into his mouth before reaching for more. 

“Okay, but it could’ve been, I dunno, dog biscuits,” Remus insisted. 

“I’ve been known to eat dog biscuits, Moony, what’s your point?” Sirius scanned the table and frowned. “Where’s my drink?”

James pointed across at the sofa, where the flask was nestled between the cushions, and Sirius motioned for Remus to toss it to him.

“I brought up some water, too, if you like,” Peter said, pouring a glass and setting it on the table in front of Sirius.

“Water is for amateurs,” Sirius said, pushing the water away and taking a sip from his flask instead. “I would take some pumpkin juice, though.”

“Good call, Moony.” Peter poured some pumpkin juice into a glass and handed it to Sirius. “Merlin, Padfoot, does your head hurt? I wish you’d heard the sound it made when it hit the table.”

“Moony fucking died laughing,” James added. He took a biscuit from the tray and bit into it, brushing crumbs from his mouth.

“Did you check and see if I was okay first?” Sirius demanded, and Remus shook his head. “You arsehole, Moony! Let the record show that I would always check to make sure you’re okay before laughing at you.” He reached for a biscuit and ate it in one bite, speaking through his mouthful of crumbs. “Unbelievable.”  
There was no discussion of resuming the game of Firecracker, so instead they began a regular game of Exploding Snap. They were only a few minutes into the round when James set down a card and waited for Peter to take his turn, then glanced over at the sofa and chuckled before hastily stifling his laughter.

“Look at those tossers,” he murmured, pointing at Peter and Remus, both fast asleep with their heads resting against opposite arms of the sofa. “We drank way more than them and they still pass out first.”  
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Sirius replied. He stretched out his legs and leaned back against the sofa. “What a night. I died and came back to life.” He grinned. “Well, sort of.”

“Thanks for trying to take my mind off things tonight.” James put his glass to his lips, then set it down again when he realized it was empty.

Sirius handed him the flask without being asked. “Did it work?” he asked, squinting as he tried to decipher the look on James’s face.

James took a long sip from the flask before responding. “Sort of. I mean, it worked for a while, but now I think I’m heading for that sad sort of drunk.” He reached for the Quaffle that someone had kicked underneath the coffee table, but he sighed and set it down again after a moment.

“Shit, you’re never a sad drunk.” Sirius took several of the Exploding Snap cards strewn across the table and began piling them on top of Remus’s head. “Evans really fucks you up, doesn’t she?”

“She really does.” He leaned back in his chair and rested his feet on the table, knocking a few cards to the ground. “I know I’ve bored you to death talking about this, and it’s my own fault for sending that letter in the first place, but I can’t stop thinking that I’ve ruined everything. I can’t stop thinking…” He sighed again. “Well, what if she got so angry with me that she decided to be friends with Snape again?”

“She wouldn’t,” Sirius said, frowning. “Of course she wouldn’t. That’s stupid.”

James ran a hand through his hair in irritation. “Is it, though? Think about it.”

Sirius stacked more cards on Remus’s head as he thought. “All right, I guess it could be possible. But so what? That won’t amount to anything.”

“How can you be sure? He’s bloody obsessed with her. What if they get talking about the good old days when they used to be friends and they end up, you know…” He seemed reluctant to speak the thought out loud, as if simply saying the words could make them true.

“What? Shagging?”

James’s eyes widened. “I was going to say snogging, but that too!” He shook his head in disgust. “I’ve driven Evans into Snape’s bed. What have I done?”

“That’s stupid, Prongs. It’s Snivellus. Who’d choose him over you?” He placed another card on the small pile on Remus’s head, watching as it teetered but did not fall.

“I dunno, who chooses to be friends with him in the first place? Evans makes some questionable choices sometimes,” James said. He reached for the Quaffle and held it in his hands, gripping it tightly.

“That is true,” Sirius mused. He began to place another card on the pile, but drew his hand back in surprise when Remus’s eyes snapped open.

“You’re both the biggest idiots I’ve ever met, and I can’t believe I’m friends with you,” he said, knocking the pile of cards onto the floor and letting his eyes drift shut again.

“I didn’t realize you were listening,” Sirius said, grinning. 

“I wish I hadn’t been. What a load of rubbish. Relax, Prongs. It’s all going to be fine. Now, have some water, both of you, and go to sleep.” He settled back onto his spot on the sofa, and after a moment his breathing became slow and rhythmic once more.

“Even if she’s not, you know, with Snape,” James went on. “If she doesn’t want to be friends anymore, if she goes back to hating me and only speaking to me to tell me off, I dunno, Padfoot, I really don’t know if I can take it.” He took another sip from the flask and set it back on the table, then rested his head in his hands.

“Listen up, because I’m about to give you some of that James Potter pep talk bullshit, and I don’t do this often,” Sirius said, hoisting himself to his feet and giving James a bracing pat on the back. “Of course you can take it! You survived years of her turning you down and calling you an arrogant toerag. You dragged us through two years of trying to become Animagi, you dug the Quidditch team out of a hole, you got me through running away from Grimmauld Place and my uncle dying and whatever other dramatic shit I get myself into. You can get through anything, so I don’t want to hear that rubbish.” He shoved aside some of the cards and sat down on the edge of the table. “But I have a feeling you’re going to wake up tomorrow to a nice letter from Evans, and this will all be a moot point.”

James picked his head up and met Sirius’s gaze, his eyes full of sadness mingled with hope. “You do?”

Sirius nodded. “Course I do. The girl’s in love with you, she just doesn’t realize it. But she’s bloody close, so just work on minimizing your idiotic behavior and you’ll be dating before you know it.”

James managed a weak smile. “Thanks, Padfoot.”

Sirius nodded. “Any time. Now, how many cards you think we can get on Pete’s head before he moves or wakes up?”

James woke up the next morning sprawled across his bed, on top of the covers and still wearing his clothes. He rolled over and spotted his shoes by the foot of the bed, although he had no memory of taking them off. His eyes traveled to the sofa, where Remus and Peter still slept, their bodies curled into awkward positions. There was no sign of Sirius except for his red cowboy hat abandoned underneath the armchair, and James decided he must have stumbled to his bed at some point. He glanced at his watch, deciding whether he wanted to get up and go for a run or fall back to sleep for a little longer, but his thoughts were interrupted by a light tapping at the window. 

He stood and padded across the room to let in the familiar owl, hope and fear flooding his body as he imagined what the letter might contain. He removed the letter from the owl’s leg and gave him an owl treat, then held the letter in his hand as he watched the owl fly away. A smile spread across his face as he opened the letter and his eyes began to devour the words on the parchment. When he finished reading, he sank down onto the floor and rested his head in his hands for a moment, breathing a deep sigh of relief. He allowed his breathing to come back to normal before turning back to the parchment and reading it again, savoring the words and grinning like an idiot.

  
  
  



	8. He Could Be That Person

_ Dear Potter, _

_ What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper. _

_ Okay, how have we not talked about the fact that Mary and Sirius GOT MATCHING BLOODY TATTOOS? I don’t care what they say, you don’t get a matching tattoo with someone you’re just shagging. Also, don’t tell her this, as I told her it’s stupid on principle to get a tattoo when you’re falling down drunk, but I actually really like it and think it’s perfect for the two of them.  _

_ She came over last night and we just lay around and talked. I got her to spill a lot of details about Sirius. The conversation got a bit explicit if you can believe that, but I got her to tell me about their trip to the beach, so it was worth listening to a detailed account of them shagging on the bunkbeds (sorry for the mental image).  _

_ We stayed up until nearly three in the morning talking. She really is a good friend, even if she insists on bringing up topics that I’d rather not discuss… _

“Where are your parents?” Mary put on some music, then slipped her shoes off and flopped down onto Lily’s bed. 

Lily watched in amusement as Mary rearranged the pillow so that it cushioned her head and allowed her curls to fall around her face. “Make yourself at home,” she said, chuckling. “They’ve gone out to a movie.”

“Excellent.” Mary reached into her pocket and pulled out a joint and a lighter. “This is really good. I got it from that bloke I know from work.” She lit the joint and held it to her lips, holding the smoke in her lungs as long as she could before releasing it. She wore a blissful expression as she passed the joint to Lily before rolling onto her side.

“The bloke you almost shagged?” Lily asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed and accepting the joint. She took a smaller hit than Mary had, but she still coughed several times before handing it back. 

“Oh, I did end up shagging him, did I not tell you that?” Mary shrugged. “It was all right. Nothing spectacular, but he did teach me to drive his car.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “Not a euphemism, right?”

“Right,” Mary agreed, giggling. She took another hit and watched the smoke drift away into the air.

“Did you tell Black about it?” 

“Yeah. He doesn’t care.” She passed the joint back to Lily and pushed a stray curl out of her face. 

“He doesn’t care?” Lily repeated. Mary’s nonchalant tone shocked her, even after almost a year of hearing about her casual, no strings attached arrangement with Sirius. 

“No, why would he?” Mary tapped her foot along with the music. “He shagged someone else too. I dunno when you’re going to understand that we’re not dating. We’re not exclusive. I don’t care who he shags, and he doesn’t care who I shag, and we’re perfectly happy with that arrangement.” She pointed at the joint. “Are you going to hit that or just hold it while you give me that judgemental look?”

“Oh, sorry.” Lily put the joint to her lips and tried not to cough as she held the smoke in her lungs. As she exhaled, something caught her eye. Mary’s shirt had ridden up to reveal the lyrics tattooed on her arm. “I still can’t believe you and Black got tattoos.”

Mary pushed herself up to lean against the headboard, then looked down at her arm as if noticing the words tattooed there for the first time. “It’s brilliant, isn’t it?” She traced the loopy script, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I love this bloody song.” Mary plucked the joint from Lily’s fingers and took a hit, then glanced at her and laughed. “Don’t give me that look. I told you before. It doesn’t mean anything. They’re just tattoos, all right?”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, all right. Just tattoos.” She frowned. “I mean, it probably wasn’t the brightest idea to go stumbling through the streets of London to a tattoo shop when you were both drunk off your arses, but you weren’t looking for advice, were you?”

Mary shook her head. “I rarely ever am, unless I need help choosing an outfit.”

Lily gazed at the tattoo for a moment. “It is a great song,” she said reluctantly, the closest she would come to admitting her approval.

“It’s a fucking excellent song,” Mary agreed. She accepted the joint back from Lily, then dropped it into an empty soda bottle when she realized it was finished. She grinned at Lily, her eyes glassy, then lay back on the bed and sighed. “So we went to the Potters’ beach house and camped out on the beach. I suppose you want to hear about that.”

“I do,” Lily said, sprawling out next to her on the bed and resting her head in her hands. “How was your beach getaway that was definitely not a date?”

“It was brilliant, actually.” Mary twirled a strand of hair around her finger as she spoke. “I can’t remember the last time I’d been to the beach before that. It was ages ago, I can’t have been more than six.”

Lily sighed. “I haven’t been in forever either.” Her face lit up and she turned to Mary. “We should go one day! When you get another day off. But sorry, I didn’t mean to sidetrack the conversation. I still want to know about your campout.”

“Of course you do,” Mary replied, grinning.

“Well, your summer is far more exciting than mine, so I have to live vicariously through you,” Lily explained. The closest I’ve come to a date was shouting at Severus at the park, and hat shopping with you and Black, neither of which even remotely resemble a date.” 

Mary rolled her eyes. “This was not a date either. But you know, if you’re dying for an actual date, it’d be easy enough to arrange.” She lifted her head off the pillow to meet Lily’s gaze. “Just send him a letter asking to see him. He’d be so excited he’d probably fall out of his chair.”

“I never said I was dying for an actual date.” She pushed herself up and climbed over Mary so she could retrieve a chocolate bar from her dresser. “I just said I wanted to hear about yours.” She hopped back onto the bed and propped herself up against the headboard, then broke off a piece of chocolate and let it melt in her mouth. 

“Fine, but give me some of that,” Mary said, reaching out her hand for the chocolate. “You should honestly date James just so you can use their beach house. It’s beautiful out there, and we didn’t even go inside. They own a private beach, and we went swimming and shagged and got high, just the best day.” She took a bite of chocolate and looked up at the ceiling, a thoughtful expression on her face. “And then we had a fire and got a bit drunk, if you can believe it, and I don’t even know how it happened, but I ended up-” She bit her lip and broke off.

“What?” Lily tried to keep her tone casual despite the overwhelming curiosity bubbling up inside her. “What did you end up doing?”

“Crying.” Mary’s voice sounded faint and distant, and she kept her eyes fixed to the ceiling as if that was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

“Really?” Throughout their six years of friendship, Lily could recall seeing Mary cry only a couple of times. Nothing got to her, or at least she never let on when things upset her; Lily on the other hand never hesitated to tell the world (loudly, most of the time) when something bothered her. Hearing that Mary had shown this rare glimpse of vulnerability to Sirius surprised her.

“Yeah.” She rolled over to face Lily, and her eyes revealed a hint of the haunted, terrified look Lily had seen several times before. “I started to talk about, you know.” Mary rarely spoke about what had happened to her last year; most of the time she pretended like it had never happened, but Lily could see the way she tensed up at the mention of Mulciber’s name. “I don’t know why. I mean, I never even let myself think about it, because what’s the bloody point? But all of a sudden the memory just came rushing back, and I fell apart a bit.” She toyed with a stray curl and took a deep breath. “And he was really great about it, actually. He sort of held me and stroked my hair and let me cry. Say what you want about Black - I know he can be obnoxious and reckless and arrogant and an all around tosser, but he’s a bloody good friend.”

Lily turned this over in her mind. “I suppose he is,” she said after a moment. “I’m glad you have him. Even if you’re not dating, even if you’re just friends who shag each other. You’ve obviously gotten close this summer, and I think it’s good you have someone else you feel comfortable opening up to.”

Mary pushed herself up to sit beside Lily. “He’s just easy to talk to, you know? I know he won’t judge me for being a bit of a mess, because, well, he’s a bit of a mess quite a lot. And he’s good at cheering me up.”

Lily glanced over at her and flashed her a knowing smile. “Does cheering you up involve shagging?”

Mary chuckled. “Sometimes.”

“Is he really as good as you’re always saying?” The words were out of her mouth before she’d even realized she was going to speak.

A dreamy expression crept over her face. “Better. Merlin, he knows what he’s doing.”

Lily hesitated. “Do you think…” She didn’t allow herself to finish the thought, but Mary seemed to interpret her meaning.

“What? Do I think Potter’s as good?” She laughed. “Probably not at first, but he’s a fast learner, he’ll shape up in no time.”

“You don’t think he’s ever done it with anyone?” This seemed impossible.

“No, I asked Black and he said he’s never gone past snogging and maybe some over the clothes fondling. He’s bloody saving himself for you, Lily. I can’t decide if it’s romantic or idiotic.” She grinned. “What am I saying, it’s Potter, obviously it’s both.”

“He’s not saving himself for me,” she protested.

“No? Just like you’re not saving yourself for him?” Mary raised her eyebrows and giggled. “You know the first time’s going to last about 30 seconds, right?”

Lily scowled. “I wish you’d stop talking about this like it’s actually going to happen. I never said I wanted to shag James Potter. This is a completely hypothetical discussion.”

“And I wish you’d stop denying your feelings for him, when it’s completely obvious to everyone else that you’re mad about him and want to rip his clothes off and hop into bed with him.” She discovered the rest of the chocolate bar which lay forgotten between them, and she reached for it, but Lily snatched it away and held it out of reach.

“You’re not having this if you’re going to have a go at me all night,” Lily said, breaking off a piece and biting into it. “I’ll just eat it myself.” She focused on the taste of the chocolate, trying to banish the thought of hopping into bed with a very naked James Potter. 

“That’s all right,” Mary said with a shrug. “I’d want to console myself with chocolate too if I was as sexually frustrated as you must be.”

Lily dropped the chocolate bar and gaped at Mary. “What?” she spluttered. “I’m not - I never said-” She could feel the heat radiating off her face.  _ Merlin, get ahold of yourself. _

“It’s all right, calm down,” Mary said, amused by her reaction. “I just mean, the sexual tension between you two is getting pretty ridiculous.”

“There is no sexual tension!” Lily insisted, crossing her arms.

“Rubbish.” She shook her hair out of her face and glanced sideways at Lily. “It must be horrible, wanting to shag someone but not allowing yourself to.”

“You wouldn’t know what that’s like, would you? You never hold yourself back,” Lily said, smirking.

“No, I don’t,” Mary agreed, not the slightest bit ashamed. “Why should I? What a waste of bloody time.” She shook her head. “At least you’ve only been depriving yourself for a bit. Potter’s been pining after you for ages, poor bloke. He’s got years worth of sexual tension.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I wish you’d stop using that phrase.” She leaned in closer to Mary. “He’s really never…?”

Mary shook her head, sending her curls flying. “Nope. Black wouldn’t lie about that. Don’t tell him I told you, though, in case it was supposed to be a secret.” She grinned at Lily. “Why do you look so pleased about that?”

Lily forced her face into a neutral expression. “I don’t. Now shut up about James Potter and tell me about the obnoxious customers at your work or the latest shenanigans Melanie’s gotten up to or the latest spot you and Sirius have shagged that isn’t his bed.”

Mary burst into laughter. “Merlin, you really don’t want to talk about it anymore, do you?” She shrugged. “Fair enough. Nobody shouted at me at work today, and Melanie’s been relatively well-behaved, but we did try out the bunkbeds in Black’s guest room.”

“Top or bottom bunk?” Lily asked, grateful they had switched to a new topic even if it was not her favorite thing to discuss. 

“Both,” Mary replied, a wicked grin spreading across her face. As she launched into a detailed account of the experience, Lily tried to focus on her words as the heat faded from her flushed cheeks and the disconcerting thoughts drifted to the back of her mind until she chose to reexamine them again.

_ Dear Potter, _

_ Why did the bakery hire a pig? He was good at bacon. _

_ I know I just sent you a letter and you haven’t had a chance to write back, but I started the summer work for Transfiguration and now I’m stuck and it’s driving me mad. I tried asking Mary but she said, “What person in their right mind would start summer homework before the last week of the holidays?” which was not exactly helpful. So anyway, I’m turning to you because I’m staring at the essay and I don’t even know where to begin, and you’re good at explaining things and even better at Transfiguration. _

_ I’ve also been dying to talk to someone about what’s been going on. I’ve been keeping my parents out of it. I figure they have enough to worry about with work and coming to terms with how much of a miserable bitch my sister is, so they don’t need to worry about what’s going on in the wizarding world on top of that. Mary refuses to talk about it with me. I know why, but it’s still frustrating, because when I start thinking about it I get sucked into a thought spiral, and I feel like I’d feel better if I could talk it through with someone, someone who gets it, someone who has the same opinions I do and can talk me down from the ledge, so to speak…” _

“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line sounded languid and vaguely sad. Lily could hear the radio playing in the background, and the clink of ice against glass as the speaker took a sip of her drink. 

“Hi, Ms. Macdonald? It’s Lily. Is Mary there?” She twirled the phone cord around her finger and sat down at the kitchen table.

“Lily! Hi, love.” Her words were slurred but cheerful, and Lily thought she caught the sound of a deep inhale as she took a drag on a cigarette. “Mary’s here, at least, I think she is, unless she’s out with that handsome bloke she’s been hanging around with. I can’t keep track.” She blew out the smoke, causing the phone to crackle a bit, and laughed. “You know him? That boy with the motorbike?”

Lily grinned and rested her head in her hand. “Sirius? Yeah, I know him. He’s in our year at school.”

“Handsome, isn’t he?” She took another sip of her drink; Lily heard a clunk as she knocked the glass into the receiver.

“I suppose,” Lily said, letting her mind conjure the image of another Gryffindor boy with much messier hair.

“And so nice! You know he took me for a ride on that motorbike of his?” 

Lily chuckled at the thought of Mary’s mother on the back of Sirius’s motorbike, laughing with her head thrown back and most likely letting her hands drift far too low. 

“But he’s a bit mysterious, isn’t he?” she went on. “What’s his story? Mary refuses to tell me anything.”

Lily laughed, wondering how on earth to go about answering that question, but she got a reprieve when Melanie continued her drunken barrage of questions. 

“Are they dating? They’ve got to be, right?”

“Mary claims they’re not,” Lily replied, rolling her eyes. 

“Rubbish!” Lily heard the clink of ice yet again. “Oh, bloody hell, my drink’s empty.”

“Ms. Macdonald?” Lily asked, her voice hesitant. “Could you check and see if Mary’s in her room?”

“Oh, of course, what a drunk arsehole I am. Hang on.” Lily jerked the phone away from her ear as Melanie shouted, “Mary! The phone’s for you, love!” A moment later Mary picked up. “Hello, Lily.” The sound of footsteps echoed through the phone as she stretched the cord to reach her bedroom. “Mum, you’ve dropped your cigarette!” she called. “You’re going to burn the bloody building down.”

Lily laughed. “Melanie’s in rare form tonight. Asking me all sorts of questions about Sirius. She’s quite fond of him, isn’t he?”

“Merlin, she’s ridiculous,” Mary said with a groan. “I swear she’d try to shag him if I left them alone long enough. Could you smell the gin fumes through the phone?”

“Almost.” Lily sat up and tucked her knees into her chest. “What are you up to?”

“Reading  _ Witch Weekly _ and trying to forget the fact that I have to work at six in the bloody morning.” Lily heard the creak of springs as Mary sprawled out on her bed. “What are you doing?”

“I started working on the Transfiguration homework but I’m stuck. Have you started it yet?” 

Mary burst into laughter, and Lily imaged her wearing that familiar expression of amused incredulity. “The fuck would I do that for? I’m trying to enjoy my summer, thanks.”

“I got bored and thought I’d take a look at it. Now it’s driving me mad and I won’t be able to put it out of my mind until I figure it out, but I guess I’m asking the wrong person.” She sighed.

“You are absolutely asking the wrong person,” Mary agreed. “Ask Potter. Transfiguration is sort of his thing, isn’t it? I mean, in addition to Quidditch and being in love with you.”

“Shut up,” Lily snapped, but she found herself smiling. “I suppose I will ask him, then.” Her eyes fell on the issue of the  _ Daily Prophet  _ she had discarded earlier. “You still avoiding the  _ Prophet?” _

“That depends. Is it still full of depressing and disconcerting articles that will do nothing to improve my mood?”

Lily glanced down at the headline on the front page and grimaced. “Yup.”

“Then yes, I’m still avoiding it.” Mary sighed. “I take it you’re still worrying over it obsessively?”

Lily thought back to the hour she had spent watching television with her mother earlier that evening. She had spent the whole time fixated on something she’d read and wasn’t able to relax and enjoy the television program at all, even though her favorite character had woken up from a coma and had promptly slapped her ex-fiance for taking up with her sister. “A bit,” she admitted. “It’s hard not to. Don’t you and Sirius talk about it at all?”

Mary laughed. “Absolutely not. That’s on our do-not-discuss list, along with our feelings and how the Cannons did in their latest match.”

Lily frowned. “What’s wrong with talking about the Cannons?” It seemed an innocuous enough subject.

“Well, nothing, except they’re complete rubbish and can’t seem to figure out how to win a match, which always puts Black into a horrible mood if I bring it up, and it all bores the hell out of me anyway, so I just avoid the subject altogether.” She yawned, and Lily realized with a start that it was much later than she’d realized.

“Go to bed, you have to be up early,” she urged. “I won’t keep you awake going on about homework any longer.”

“I suppose I should,” Mary replied, sounding less than enthusiastic. “Go write Potter a nice letter, but don’t just talk about Transfiguration, for Merlin’s sake. Give him something to get him through a long, sexually-frustrated summer.”

“There you go with your favorite bloody phrase,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “Enjoy work tomorrow.” 

She stood to replace the phone on the hook then returned to her chair, paging through the newspaper as she considered whether she wanted to start a letter to James or wait until the morning. She was halfway through an article about a missing Ministry of Magic employee when she heard the squeak of floorboards and looked up to see her father standing there.

“Hello, love.” He took a glass from a cabinet and filled it with water, then drank half of it in one gulp. “You’re up late.” He glanced at the newspaper open in front of her. “Reading anything good?”

She flipped the newspaper over and shrugged, keeping her expression casual. “Not really.”

He frowned, then drank the rest of his water before speaking. “I’ve noticed you get this funny look when you read that newspaper, and then you close it up before we can see what you’re reading about. And you seem a bit, I dunno, worried.” He crossed the room to stand next to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “There’s something going on, isn’t there? In your world, I mean.”

She turned to look up at him, struggling to contain the flood of emotions his words had prompted. “Yes,” she said after a moment’s hesitation. “But you and Mum don’t need to worry about it. It’s, well, there’s nothing you can do, really. It might all come to nothing. That’s what a lot of people are saying.”

He mulled this over for a moment, his forehead creasing in the way it always did when he thought hard about something. “But you don’t think it will all come to nothing.” It was a statement, not a question.

She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”

He nodded, trying to hide his worry with a smile that was too tight and forced to be genuine. “Are you…” He swallowed. “Are you in any danger?”

She met his gaze, her mind whirling.  _ Am I in danger?  _ Sometimes the idea seemed absurd: what could hurt her here, in grimy, familiar Cokeworth, or within the walls of Hogwarts? Yet other times she lay awake worrying about what might happen to her, to her friends, to her family. She studied her father’s face, noting the lines around his eyes she’d never noticed before, the grey in his hair, the dark circles under his eyes. He worked so hard, and she hated to add to his burden, yet she couldn’t sit here and lie to his face - he’d see right through it.

“I don’t know,” she said, her tone conveying all the uncertainty and apprehension she felt, but the fierce glint in her eyes revealed her bravery and determination in the face of so many unknowns. 

Her father smiled at her, seeming to grasp all of this somehow. He kissed the top of her head and patted the newspaper spread out on the table. “Don’t stay up too late reading. And, you know, it’s all right if you don’t want to talk to me or your mum about all this, but you shouldn’t keep it all inside. Can you talk to your friends about this?” He raised his eyebrows. “What about that boy, your admirer-turned-penpal?”

She smiled in spite of the worry she’d just seen on her father’s face, in spite of the unsettled feeling she hadn’t quite been able to shake all summer, in spite of all the questions without answers. “Yeah, I suppose I could talk to him about all this.”

He nodded, then opened his mouth as though about to say more, but thought better of it at the last moment. Instead, he turned and headed out of the kitchen, looking back over his shoulder to say goodnight before he disappeared from view. Lily sat there for another minute, turning over their conversation in her mind, before she heaved herself to her feet and padded to her bedroom. She almost pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote to James then and there, but she turned out the light and curled up in bed instead. She felt better just knowing she could pour all of her thoughts and fears and frustrations into a letter. Even if James could not alleviate her concerns, he would understand and empathize, and might even share his own worries, and for now that was enough. She smiled, beginning to draft the letter in her mind as she drifted off to sleep. 

_ Dear Evans, _

_ I told Sirius that bacon joke and he about died laughing. Here’s another good one: Want to hear a joke about a piece of parchment? Never mind, it’s tearable… _

_ I took a look at the Transfiguration assignment and I think the key is explaining the fourth exception to Gamp’s Law and then figuring out the maximum amount of time it would remain in being, which depends partly on your level of focus and concentration, but also on the size and weight of what you’ve conjured. I hope that helps, but I also think you should enjoy your summer a bit longer before you try to tackle this essay, because it’s too nice out for the kind of complex thinking Transfiguration requires.  _ _   
  
_

_ As far as what’s been going on, I feel the exact same way. Sometimes everything’s normal and I’m playing Quidditch or getting drunk with Sirius or just sitting around doing nothing, and it feels just like a regular summer. But sometimes I feel like my head’s going to explode from that feeling of wanting to do something but having no idea what can actually be done, and when I’m like this I can get sucked into the thought spirals too. I think it’s good that we care so much, but also we’ve got to find a balance so we don’t drive ourselves crazy. I had an interesting chat with my dad about it... _

James lay flat on his back, tossing a Quaffle into the air with quick, restless movements. An issue of  _ The Daily Prophet  _ was spread out next to him, abandoned after he decided he’d reached his reading quota for the day. Setting aside the newspaper had been pointless, however, as he couldn’t shake the thoughts swirling around his head, and now found himself unable to focus on anything else. He needed to talk to someone and force the jumble of thoughts out of his head, otherwise he would remain agitated and tense and would lie awake until his whirling mind finally shut off from pure exhaustion.

He set down the Quaffle and sat up, pulling open a drawer in his bedside table and retrieving the two-way mirror. “Sirius Black,” he said, before leaning back against the headboard with a pillow propped behind his back. A moment later Sirius’s familiar face appeared in the mirror.

“Hullo, Prongs,” he said, grinning. “What’re you up to?”

“Just bored, wanted to talk.” He frowned. “Is Macdonald there?”

Sirius turned the mirror so the other side of his bed came into view to reveal Mary, tucked into the blankets with her curls spread out across a pillow. She pulled her arm out from under the duvet to wave, then yanked the blanket back up to her chin and flashed him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, meant to say hi, not give you a free show. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Lily.”

James laughed. “Appreciate it.”

Sirius adjusted the mirror so that it reflected him once more, but unfortunately this time James had a different angle.

“Merlin, Padfoot, you’re naked and showing me everything. Tilt the bloody mirror, will you?”

Sirius grinned and moved the mirror so only his face was visible. “Sorry, mate.”

James glanced at his watch. “It’s the middle of the afternoon. Do you just spend all your time together naked?”

“Basically,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Clothing is overrated.” He raised his eyebrows. “What did you want to talk about? Is it stuff with Evans?”

James shook his head. “Nah, nothing like that. It’s all right, I’ll let you get back to Macdonald. We can talk tomorrow.”

Sirius frowned, his grey eyes concerned. “You sure? I can go out to the living room for a bit - I’ll even put clothes on. Macdonald can take care of herself. Hey!” He dodged a pillow that Mary had apparently flung at him. “I didn’t mean it like that, Macdonald. Just because you have a filthy mind doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

James chuckled. “No, that’s okay. You two have fun.” He felt guilty burdening Sirius with his confused tangle of worries when his friend was just trying to enjoy the evening. James gave Sirius a reassuring smile, then waved goodbye and returned the mirror to the drawer. He stared at the ceiling for a good five minutes before hopping down from the bed and heading downstairs with no real agenda except to try to snap himself out of this mood.

He wandered into the kitchen and opened a cabinet, more out of habit than because he was particularly hungry. Selecting a bag of crisps that had somehow survived Sirius’s last kitchen raid, he brought his snack over to the table and plopped down. He sat there munching in moody silence for several minutes before his father appeared, whistling a cheerful if off-key tune.

“Ooh, crisps,” he said, sitting down across from James and reaching for the bag. “What are you up to?” 

James shrugged. “You’re looking at it,” he said, sighing and resting his head in his hands.

Fleamont chewed his mouthful of crisps as he studied his son. “You’ve been reading the  _ Prophet,  _ haven’t you?” he observed.

“How could you tell?” James said with a wry smile.

“You have that worried look,” Fleamont explained. “Your mother gets the exact same look.” He looked down at the table and traced the smooth wood for a moment before he spoke again. “It’s enough to drive you mad, isn’t it?”

James nodded and ran a hand through his hair, then pulled a crisp from the bag and twirled it around on the table before crushing it into a salty, cheese-flavored dust.

“I feel the same way you do. Unfortunately I’m far too old to be able to do anything of use to change the situation.”

James started to argue, but Fleamont held up his hand, and his son fell silent and began pulverizing another crisp. “You, on the other hand, are young, and talented, and passionate, and inclined to jump into things headfirst without bothering to think it through.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned, and James grinned back in spite of himself. "And judging by the way you’re taking out your anger on those innocent crisps, I think it’s safe to say you’re fired up about this and won’t feel satisfied until something’s done about it.”

James looked up at his father, a sheepish smile on his face. He stopped crushing the crisp and Vanished the crumbs, then took a Quaffle from a nearby closet and spun it on the table to give himself something to occupy his hands. “Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel.”

Fleamont nodded. “Right. And I think it’s also safe to say that Sirius is right there with you. I suspect Remus and Peter too, because I doubt you two would be friends with them otherwise. For what it’s worth, I feel better knowing that you and your friends are going to be the ones fighting for a better future.”

James frowned. “I dunno about that - that sounds a bit dramatic.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Fleamont agreed, shrugging. “But the way things are going, there may be a need for a response that’s a bit dramatic. And if that’s the way things play out, I pity anyone on the other side, because you’re a force to be reckoned with. I should know - I raised you for the past seventeen years. And with Sirius right there alongside you? Merlin, I’d hate to try to go up against the two of you.” His tone contained a mixture of affection and pride, and his eyes shone behind his spectacles.

James stopped messing around with the Quaffle and met his father’s gaze. “Thanks, Dad.” He wanted to say more, but his attention was diverted by a light tapping at the window. He stood and opened the window to admit Lily’s owl, feeling his face break into a wide grin as the familiar feeling of anticipation filled him. He removed the letter and gave the owl a quick pat on the head before returning to the table and tearing into the letter.

“That must be from Miss Evans,” Fleamont said, watching in amusement as his son’s eyes flew over the parchment. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Yeah, okay,” James said, hardly knowing what he was saying as he continued to read. While the anxiety and agitation didn’t disappear altogether, it was a huge relief to know Lily was feeling the exact same emotions and needed someone to confide in. He could be that person. He would love nothing more than to be that person. He slid down in his seat and stretched his legs out, reaching for a crisp as he devoured the words in that familiar handwriting. 

  
  



	9. The Beach Is My Happy Place

_ Dear Potter, _

_ You were right, that parchment joke was terrible. What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday! _

_ I can’t tell you how glad I was to get your last letter. I really felt like I was going mad, and hearing back from you and knowing you understood made me feel so much better. Your dad’s right. If it comes to fighting (which seems ridiculous, but then again this whole situation is fairly ridiculous) you and Sirius are pretty bloody formidable. Remus, too, even though people tend to underestimate him, because I’ve seen him do some spells that I wouldn’t even attempt. Also, thanks for the advice about Transfiguration. I decided you were right and I should enjoy my summer a bit more before taxing my brain that much, so cheers. _

_ Mary and I went to the beach today, which seemed like the most obvious way to enjoy the summer. It was the perfect day for it, and we ended up having the best time… _

The shrieks and laughs of children and the shrill blast of the lifeguard’s whistle pierced the air as Lily and Mary spread out their towels and lay down to bask in the warmth of the sun. There was a slight breeze and the clear blue sky was free of clouds. Lily kicked off her flip flops and dug her toes into the sand, breathing in the salty air and enjoying the blissful feeling she always experienced at the beach. 

“What a great day to not be at Albert’s,” Mary said, sighing and rubbing tanning oil on her legs. “I’m going to owe the girl who covered my shift a huge favor, but it’s worth it. We needed this.”

“Yes we did.” Lily reached into her bag and set an issue of  _ Witch Weekly  _ on Mary’s towel before pulling out the novel she’d brought for herself. “The beach is my happy place.”

Mary began paging through the magazine, a contented smile on her face. “Yeah, me too. But also Black’s bed. For some reason I sleep better there than I do anywhere else.”

“He makes you feel safe,” Lily said. “That’s sweet, Mary.” She pictured Mary curled up with Sirius, their arms wrapped around each other as the soft sounds of their steady breathing filled the room. The image was so heartwarming that she almost couldn’t stand it.

“Oh, shut it,” Mary said, whacking Lily’s leg with the  _ Witch Weekly  _ magazine. “I didn’t say that. His bed’s just comfortable, that’s all.” She hesitated for a moment, as if she wanted to say more, but thought better of it and turned back to her magazine.

Lily smiled to herself and opened her book, but after a few minutes she realized she had read several pages without absorbing anything. Instead she found herself wondering what it would be like to fall asleep in James’s bed, his arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed the top of her head.  _ Merlin, where did that come from?  _ She forced herself to focus on the heat of the sun and the feeling of the sand on her feet as she returned to her book with renewed energy. 

Lily was halfway through a chapter when Mary set down her magazine and announced, “I’m sweating my arse off. Want to go in the water?” She sprang to her feet and set off without waiting for a response, and Lily set her book facedown and scrambled after her, dodging sandcastles and beach umbrellas and brightly-colored towels until they reached the water.

“It’s bloody freezing!” Mary squealed after wading in up to her ankles.

“It’s not warm,” Lily agreed. She grimaced as a wave washed over her, splashing icy water up to her knees, but she made herself take several steps forward. She let her body grow accustomed to the chill of the water, continuing to walk forward until she was submerged up to her chest. The ends of her hair trailed in the water, and she let her eyes close for a moment as the waves lapped at her body and the sun beat down on her shoulders. 

She was jarred out of her reverie when icy water droplets hit her face, and she opened her eyes to see Mary emerging from under the water.

“It’s not bad once you go under,” she said, wiping her dripping face and grinning. “Refreshing, actually.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Lily replied. 

“What a day,” Mary said with a sigh. She sank back down into the water and paddled around Lily, kicking her feet and sending more water in Lily’s direction. 

“Hey!” Lily began, but before she could protest further she heard a shout behind her. She turned to investigate and came face to face with a frisbee that missed hitting her in the face by mere inches.

“Sorry about that!” a boy about her age called, splashing through the water to retrieve his frisbee. “Are you all right?”

“You prat, David!” Another boy swam over to them from the opposite direction. “These girls are just trying to enjoy their day at the beach and you nearly take this one’s head off with the frisbee.” He shook his head in disapproval and held out his hand to Lily. “I’m Robbie, and this git’s David.”

“Lily,” she said, shaking his hand. “And this is Mary.” She nodded at Mary, who smiled at both boys.

“Nice to meet you,” Robbie said. “Sorry again about my friend, here.”  
“Why don’t you let us make it up to you?” David suggested. Lily noticed his eyes lingering on Mary’s chest, where her tiny bikini top left little to the imagination. “We were just about to go and get ice cream. Why don’t you come with us? Our treat.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Robbie added. He smiled at Lily, and she noticed his straight, white teeth stood out against his tan skin. She supposed he was handsome, and yet their offer was not even remotely tempting.

“What do you say?” David asked, finally tearing his eyes away from Mary’s cleavage to flash her a brilliant grin.

Lily hesitated, then blurted “I don’t think so” at the exact moment Mary said, “No thanks.”

Both boys stared at them, disappointment clouding their handsome features. David recovered first. 

“Right,” he said. “Well, come find us if you change your mind. We’re sitting up there.” He gestured at a spot on the beach.

“Sorry again,” Robbie added before giving them a wave and setting off for the shore with David following behind him.

Lily and Mary glanced at each other. “Why’d you say no?” Lily asked, raising her eyebrows. 

Mary shrugged. “I dunno. He wasn’t really my type.”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked, laughing. “How was he not your type? He was cute, and he was obviously quite taken with you.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Taken with these, you mean,” she said, gesturing at her chest. “I can’t blame him, though. They’re looking great in this top.” She smirked. “I wore this when I went to the Potters’ beach house and Black loved it.”

“Course he did.” Lily took in the expression on her friend’s face and decided she had declined the boys’ offer not because of any deficiency of David’s, but simply because he was not a certain dark-haired Gryffindor in a leather jacket.

“What about you?” Mary asked, nudging her friend. “Robbie was really good-looking. Why didn’t you say yes?”

“He’s not my type either,” Lily said, glancing sideways at Mary and flashing her a knowing smile.

Mary raised her eyebrows at her, then burst into laughter. “Right.” She shook her head, sending water droplets flying from the soaked ends of her hair. “Because he doesn’t have messy hair and was throwing a frisbee instead of a Quaffle.”

“Shut up.” Lily splashed her, then dodged the jet of water Mary sent back to retaliate. “Come on, want to go back in? I can’t feel my toes.”

They waded back in and dashed across the hot sand to their towels, sprawling out to let the sun dry their chilled bodies. Mary gathered her hair to one side to wring the water out while Lily lifted the strap of her bathing suit top to see if she had a tan line.

“I think you’re burning,” Mary observed, reaching into the bag and tossing her the sunscreen. “Want me to put some on your back?”

“Thanks.” Lily dried herself off with her towel and pulled her hair up into a ponytail to get it out of the way, then sat in front of Mary so she could rub sunscreen on her back. “What do you think the boys would say if they were watching this?”

Mary laughed. “Something dirty, probably. Merlin, they’re such idiots, but I’ve grown fond of them.” She finished rubbing in the sunscreen and wiped her hands on the towel.

Lily returned to her own towel and lay on her stomach, resting her head in her hands. “Me too.” She smiled, thinking back to this time last year when she would have happily spent twenty minutes explaining in excruciating detail why James Potter was the world’s biggest tosser. Now she looked forward to each of his letters and, if she was honest with herself, missed seeing that stupid grin every day.

Her thoughts drifted to Mary and Sirius as she watched Mary rub sunscreen onto her tattoo. 

“Mary?” she asked.

Mary didn’t look up. “Hmm?” She traced the words on her arm, a faraway expression on her face.

Lily hesitated a moment, choosing her words carefully. “I know you and Black both agree that you don’t want a relationship.”

Mary’s head snapped up and she narrowed her eyes at Lily.

“But what would you do if Black decides he does want a relationship?” Lily continued, studying Mary to gauge her reaction. “Would you give it a go?”

Mary wrapped a curl around and around her finger, biting her lip as if struggling with how to respond. She opened her mouth to answer, then reconsidered and remained silent for several more seconds before speaking.

“It doesn’t matter because he doesn’t want a relationship, so it’s a moot point.” 

Lily sighed. “But just hypothetically, say he did. What would you do?”

Mary stood and brushed sand from her knees. “Fancy going for some ice cream?”

Lily got to her feet, realizing the conversation was over. “All right, but can we walk by those blokes on the way back and tease them a bit?”

Mary grinned. “You read my mind.”

As they strolled toward the ice cream shop, kicking up sand as they went, Lily considered Mary's reaction to her question. She had a nagging feeling that Mary was hiding something, but she was clearly getting nothing further out of her today, so she put it out of her mind, looking forward to a cone of mint chocolate chip and maybe a nap in the sun afterwards.

_ Dear Evans, _

_ What does a house wear? Address. _

_ I’m glad my letter helped, because like I said before, yours really helped me as well, and I like being able to do the same for you. It’s really kind of you to describe us as ‘formidable,’ and I immediately told Sirius you said that. Remus, too, because you’re right, people do underestimate him because he’s quiet and doesn’t shove his accomplishments in your face like some people (not that I would ever dream of doing that, of course) but he can do some bloody impressive magic. _

_ Good call holding off on summer homework. Going to the beach seems like a much better choice. I just got back from my family’s beach house. Sirius came with us for a bit, and Remus and Peter came for a day as well. We had a lovely, respectable day together, and we definitely did not get irresponsibly drunk and pass out on the beach... _

“James, watch where you’re throwing that!” Euphemia frowned as James threw a low pass to Sirius that missed her pumpkin juice by mere inches.

“How many times you reckon you’ve said that over the years, Mrs. Potter?” Remus asked. He was stretched out on a beach blanket with a book propped open in front of him, munching a bar of slightly-melted chocolate. 

She laughed, peering into her drink and inspecting it for sand. “Too many times to count,” she replied. “That and, ‘No brooms in the house!’ and ‘You did what?!’” She shook her head in exasperation. “What else, Fleamont?”

“How about ‘Where did my bottle of firewhisky go?’” Fleamont suggested, chuckling.

“I assume that one became a lot more common when Sirius moved in?” Remus asked. He watched Sirius dive to make a catch, spraying sand everywhere and landing hard before he hopped up again and sent the ball spinning back to James.

“He always replaces it,” Fleamont said, following the two boys’ movements with an expression of pure affection on his face. “Although I don’t like to think about how he managed it before he came of age. Best not to ask too many questions, I suppose.”

Remus laughed and ate the last bite of his chocolate bar, then licked the remnants from his fingers. “That’s one of the guiding principles of being friends with those two.”

“Hey Moony,” James said, plopping down on the blanket next to Remus.

Sirius sat down next to him. “Want to come in the water?” 

Remus shook his head. “I’m pretty comfortable here. Also, I’m reading.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and picked up the book. “What is this rubbish?  _ Brave New World? _ ” He flipped through the first few pages, then tossed it aside. “This is not a beach read. Come on, we’ll play Moony in the Middle.”

“I don’t enjoy Moony in the Middle,” Remus said, picking up the book and shaking sand out of its pages. 

“We’ll go in the middle, then,” James offered. “It’ll be Prongs and Padfoot in the Middle, but that doesn’t have much of a ring to it. Besides, Wormtail’s been swimming alone for ages. We should go join him.”

James and Sirius both stood up and looked down at Remus expectantly. Remus sighed, then set down his book and heaved himself to his feet before following James and Sirius down to the water.

“We’re playing Moony in the middle,” Sirius announced as James jogged over to retrieve the Quaffle. “Except we’re in the middle, to give you poor sods a chance.”

“Brilliant!” Peter’s blonde hair was plastered to his forehead and his face was already sunburnt. He reached up to catch the Quaffle that James tossed his way, but it bounced off his hands and landed in the water with a small splash.

“Not a promising start, Pete,” Sirius said, grinning and situating himself between Remus and Peter.

“Watch the ball into your hands,” James reminded him, wading through the water to stand next to Sirius. “You tend to look away at the last second when you think you’ve already got it.”

“Right. Thanks.” Peter hurried to retrieve the Quaffle and spun it around in his hands several times. “Ready?” 

“Moony, you have to tell us when to start,” James said.

Remus frowned. “Why me?”

“Because this game is named after you, so you’re in charge,” James explained, as if this should have been obvious.

“All right, go ahead, then,” Remus said with a shrug, and Sirius and James threw their hands into the air and began trying to intercept the ball. Peter threw it high, and it sailed over their waving hands and landed in Remus’s outstretched arms. 

“Nice one!” Sirius called, keeping his arms held high in case Remus tried to catch him by surprise.

“You watched that ball into your hands, Moony,” James said, giving him a thumbs up. “See, isn’t this better than reading?”

They tossed the Quaffle back and forth several more times before James shouted “Go left, Padfoot!” and Sirius darted sideways and intercepted the ball.

“Bloody hell!” Remus said, frowning. “I really thought I had you fooled when I feinted to the right.”

Sirius grinned. “Oh, you did, but you didn’t fool Prongs.” He gave James an appreciative nod, then threw the Quaffle back to Remus.

“Bet you can’t get the Quaffle without talking to each other,” Remus said. He glanced over at Peter and raised his eyebrows. Peter chuckled and gave him a thumbs up.

“We most certainly can,” James said, turning to Sirius. “Can’t we, Pads?”

“Course we can.” Sirius resumed his position and nodded at Remus. “Right, no more talking from us. Go ahead and throw it.”

Remus and Peter went back and forth for a bit, managing to keep control of the Quaffle until Sirius glanced at James and raised his eyebrows, then James leapt into the air and landed with a splash, clutching the ball in his hands and wearing a triumphant grin.

“How’d you do that?” Peter asked, eyes wide with admiration. “You weren’t even looking the right way.”

“No, but Padfoot was.” James shrugged and twirled the Quaffle idly in his hands. “You want to see if we can do it with our eyes shut?”

“Nope, that’s enough humiliation for the day,” Remus said. He splashed through the water and back to shore, and the others joined him, burning their feet on the sand until they reached the safety of their beach blankets.

Sirius reached into the cooler (enchanted to keep the contents cold) and selected a sandwich for himself before tossing one to each of his friends.

“Are we setting off fireworks tonight?” he asked as he sprawled out across Remus’s blanket, scattering sand everywhere.

“I’m pretending I didn’t hear that,” Fleamont said, rising from his chair and stretching.

“You’re a bit burnt, dear,” Euphemia said, her forehead creased with concern as she peered at Peter.

“I am, aren’t I?” Peter poked his arm and grimaced. He could almost see the heat coming off his angry red skin. “Happens every summer.”

“I’m surprised you’re not completely sunburnt too, Remus,” she continued. “You’re so pale.”

“That’s because he’s been holed up inside reading all summer,” Sirius said after eating half his sandwich in one bite. “This is the first time he’s stepped foot outside in weeks, probably.”  
“That’s not true,” Remus protested. “I read outside sometimes. Just, you know, in the shade.” He grinned and took a bite of his sandwich.

“We’re headed up to the house,” Fleamont said as he gave Euphemia a hand up. 

Euphemia smiled and raised her eyebrows at them. “Try to behave.” She waved and they both started up the sloping pathway that led to the house.

Sirius propped his head in his hands and looked over at James. “What do you think, Prongs? Is it drunk o’clock yet?”

James grinned. “Yup.” He scanned the area until he located his wand stuck into the sand by his blanket, then Summoned a second cooler from behind a cluster of bushes.

“Did you stash this here this morning?” Peter asked, opening the cooler and peeking inside. 

“Sure did.” James reached into the cooler and pulled out a beer, then popped the tab and took a long sip. “I know we’re all seventeen now, but I dunno, seems a bit wrong to day drink in front of my parents.” He nodded at Remus and Peter. “Plus, you two would be passed out already if we started drinking at noon.”

Peter scowled before helping himself to a beer. “I’m not the one who fell asleep and fell out of my chair last time.” He looked at Sirius and raised his beer in the air before opening it and taking a sip.

“Fuck off, Pete,” Sirius said cheerfully. “Toss me a beer, will you?”

Peter obliged, then threw one to Remus as well.

“This isn’t firewhisky,” Remus observed.

“Well spotted, Moony,” Sirius said, taking a long swallow of his beer. 

“We thought beer would be more summery,” James explained. He sat down in his dad’s abandoned chair and set his beer down in the sand, then rested his hands behind his head and stretched out his legs. 

“I think the word you used was ‘beachy,’actually,” Sirius said. “I remember making fun of you for it because it sounded a bit stupid.”

“I stand by my use of the word ‘beachy,’” James said. “What other word describes something that is appropriate for the beach?”

“I dunno, I just don’t like ‘beachy,’” Sirius insisted. “I’m not convinced it’s even a real word.” He took another sip of his beer and frowned. “‘Beachy.’ No, definitely not a real word.”

Remus rolled his eyes and opened his beer. “You’re both idiots, and nobody is allowed to use the word ‘beachy’ for the rest of the night.” He took a sip, then stood up. “I’m going to start a fire, because it’s getting chilly and you prats told me I couldn’t wear a jumper.”

“Jumpers are not beach attire,” Sirius pointed out.

“One might even say they’re not beachy,” James added, then grinned when his comment elicited a groan from Remus.

“Drink,” Remus ordered, crossing his arms and glaring at James. 

“Why?”

“For saying that ridiculous word for the twelfth time in two minutes.” Remus watched him until he took a sip, then nodded in satisfaction. 

After a minute Remus had a crackling fire going, so they all pulled blankets and chairs over and sat around talking while the sunlight faded and the air grew colder. James retrieved the Quaffle and began tossing it across the fire to Sirius. This proceeded without incident for several minutes until Sirius attempted to drink his beer and catch with the same hand and almost dropped the ball into the fire.

“Is this a good idea?” Remus mused, watching Sirius scramble to retrieve the Quaffle without spilling his beer. “Prongs will kill you if you set his lucky Quaffle on fire.”

“That’s not his lucky Quaffle,” Peter said. He drained the last of his drink and tossed the can aside. “His lucky Quaffle is the one he got signed at the World Cup last year. It’s in a case in his room. If you’re talking about the one that he stopped from hitting Evans, this isn’t the same one because that one had a bunch of grass stains.”

“Well done, Wormtail.” James ran a hand through his hair and grinned over at Peter. “Glad someone actually pays attention around here.” He reached over and caught the pass from Sirius, who had chosen to throw it to the side instead of over the fire this time.   
“But why would it be lucky if it almost hit Evans?” Remus asked, frowning and reaching into the cooler to grab Peter another beer. “That sounds unlucky to me.”

“It didn’t hit her, it almost hit her,” James explained. “ _ Someone  _ threw it like a prat, but I stopped it right before it knocked her head off. She was so grateful she hugged me.” His face took on a dreamy look as he reminisced.

“I assume the prat who threw it was you?” Remus asked Sirius, and Sirius held up his beer in acknowledgement. “Why don’t I remember this?”

“I think you were half dead that day, asleep in your chair or up in the dormitory,” Sirius said. “Not like you missed anything exciting. Prongs walked around grinning like an idiot and retelling the story for the rest of the night.”

“Oh, shut it, you’re going to be so bloody excited if Evans and I end up together.” James set down the Quaffle and stared into the flames, a hopeful smile lighting up his face. 

“Course I will,” Sirius said with a grin. “Mostly because you can finally stop whining about whether or not she’ll ever come around.”

“How’s that going, by the way?” Peter asked. “Any updates?”

“It’s going really, really well,” James said. He straightened and finished his drink before

launching into a detailed account of her latest letter.  
Sirius took this opportunity to locate his pile of clothes that he’d abandoned over by the path up to the house, returning a moment later wearing his leather jacket.

Remus nodded at the jacket and raised his eyebrows. “A leather jacket’s not very beachy, Padfoot,” he remarked.

James broke off mid-sentence and pointed a finger at Remus. “Drink, Moony!” 

“Come on-” Remus began, but James shook his head.

“No arguing. You’re the one who had a problem with that word, so follow your own rule

Actually, finish your drink.” 

Remus held up his can and sloshed the contents around. “It’s almost full.”

“I hope you’re thirsty then,” James said with a shrug, “You should’ve thought of that before you used the word ‘beachy.’”  
Peter pointed at James. “Wait, you used it too!” When he saw the look on James’s face he clapped his hand over his mouth, unsure if he should have pointed it out. 

“I suppose it’s only fair if I drink too,” James said, picking up his can with a resigned expression on his face. He raised it in the air and nodded in Remus’s direction, then they both began to drink. James finished first, crushing his can and tossing onto the sand before helping himself to a new one from the cooler. Remus drank more slowly, and when he finally finished he let the can fall from his fingers and sat down on the sand, looking slightly ill.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered. “How’d you finish yours so fast?”

“I only had a few sips left,” James replied. “Here, I’ll drink a bit more to even it out.” He took several long gulps of his beer, then grinned. “Can I bury you in the sand if you pass out before me?”

“Are you going to do it whether or not I agree?” Remus stretched out on the blanket and rested his head on his arm.

“Probably, but I thought asking was a nice gesture.” James reached for the Quaffle and began tossing it from hand to hand. “Wish I brought a Snitch.”

“Last time you got drunk and couldn't find it in the dark,” Sirius reminded him. “We never did find that one, did we?”

James frowned. “No. It’s probably still fluttering around out there somewhere.”

“Moony, don’t lie down, that’s a terrible idea.” Sirius pulled two beers from the cooler and handed one to Remus before plopping down next to him and cracking open his own can. “Have another drink, it’ll make you feel better.”

Peter laughed and took a sip as if to emphasize Sirius’s point, but Remus rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not sure that’s true,” he said, but he opened the can and took a small sip anyway. 

“See? When have I ever steered you wrong?” Sirius grinned, clapping Remus on the back.

“Actually, never mind, don’t answer that.” He stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned

back, resting on his elbows. “Prongs, have you given any thought to what over-the-top, grand gesture you’re going to do when you ask Evans out and she finally agrees?”

James ran a hand through his hair and frowned. “Do we think an over-the-top, grand gesture is the right move? Evans has been less than enthusiastic about that sort of thing in the past.”

Peter snorted with laughter and choked on his beer. “That’s a bit of an understatement,” he said

between coughs. “Remember the time Padfoot actually shook her hand because he was so impressed with her hexing abilities?”

“Well that was excellent work,” Sirius said, smiling fondly at the memory. “Gotta give credit where credit’s due, you know?”

“Was that the time you flew your broom all around the Great Hall and hovered right in front of 

her to ask her to Hogsmeade?” Remus asked after taking another tentative sip of beer. 

“No, but that was excellent,” James said. “Absolutely worth the detention. Remember Evans was so angry she couldn’t speak for a moment, and her eyes got all huge like they do, and she did that teeth clenchy thing, you know?” He widened his eyes and tightened his jaw in a near-perfect imitation of a furious Lily Evans. 

“And I asked her to pass the bacon, but she just sat there fuming, so you reached down and did it instead,” Sirius said. “Bloody classic.”

“No, the time I was thinking of was when you got the house elves to spell out ‘WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?’ in rose petals on her bed,” Peter said, still chuckling. 

“I still think that was classy and romantic!” James insisted, taking a sip of his beer. “Barely even over-the-top.”

“Prongs, you had a trail of rose petals that started at the Fat Lady and went all the way through 

the common room and up the stairs,” Remus said. He moved closer to the fire and held out his hands to warm them. “How is that not over-the-top?”

“I liked it,” Peter said with a shrug. “It was a bit of an overreaction to hex you like that. I mean, compared to some of the other stunts, that one wasn’t even that bad.”

“She was already mad about something else,” Sirius said. He tapped his fingers against the blanket as he tried to remember. “Shit, I can’t remember what, but I feel like it was my fault. Doesn’t matter. That was a bloody impressive hex. Evans knows her shit.” He nodded in appreciation. 

“I know she does. I love seeing her go off like that. I just prefer it when she’s going off on someone else instead of me.” James stood and moved closer to the fire. “Anyway, you still think a big ridiculous romantic gesture will work?”

Sirius nodded. “I think so. It’s gotta be the romantic gesture to end all romantic gestures, you know?”

Peter mulled this over as he sipped his beer. “I think there should be fireworks,” he said. “I dunno 

why, just seems right, doesn’t it?” He looked around to gauge their reactions.

“Fireworks!” Sirius finished his beer and threw the can into the fire. “We should do fireworks now.” He looked at James. “Are they down here already?”

“Nah, I’ll get them.” James reached for his wand and Summoned the box of fireworks. It came whizzing down from the house, bumping the rocky path several times before it landed next to James with a soft thump. “Come on, let’s go a bit closer to the water.”

He picked up the box and led the way down to the edge of the water. The other three followed close behind after Sirius had slipped several extra beers into the pockets of his jacket. 

“Won’t your parents mind?” Remus asked, frowning as he imagined Fleamont and Euphemia being awakened by the sound of fireworks.

“They won’t hear anything. They put really strong soundproofing charms on their bedroom after last summer. If they don’t hear it, it didn’t happen,” James said as he knelt to light a firework, then took a step back. They watched as it shot straight up into the air, then burst into red and gold sparks with a deafening boom. 

“Let me do one,” Sirius said. He rummaged in the box until he found a Roman candle.

“You’re sober enough for this, right?” Remus asked, eying the Roman candle doubtfully.

“More sober than you,” Sirius said with a shrug before lighting the Roman candle and pointing it away from them. It shot out across the water and exploded with several loud bangs and flashes until it finally burnt out and they were left with a ringing in their ears and a sulphuric smell in their nostrils. “See? No harm done.” Sirius pulled another one from the box and handed it to Remus. “You do one.”

Remus took it, losing his balance and grabbing Peter’s shoulder before he regained his footing and lit it. He pointed it out at the water and closed his eyes.

“What are you closing your eyes for, you prat?” Sirius asked as the Roman candle shot out across the water. “You could be pointing that at Wormtail for all you can tell.”

“You’re not,” Peter assured him before reaching into the box and pulling out four more. “Let’s do that thing where we try to get them to collide in midair.”

When they had exhausted their supply of fireworks they returned to the fire and collapsed down onto the blankets. Sirius handed new beers around for everyone and James brought out a bag of marshmallows he had stashed in the food cooler.

“What do you think next summer’s going to be like?” Sirius mused as he jammed a marshmallow onto one of the metal skewers the Potters stored at the beach for occasions such as these. “You reckon we’ll be sitting around getting drunk and setting off fireworks like this, or will we be doing important adult things?”

James snorted with laughter. “Are you saying getting drunk and setting off fireworks does not count as an important adult activity?” His face darkened as he recalled the conversation he’d had with his dad and the letters he and Lily had exchanged about what the future might hold. “Although I don’t mean to get all gloom and doom, but we may have to do important adult things whether we want to or not.”

“You can’t say ‘I don’t mean to get all gloom and doom’ and then say something like that,” Sirius said, shaking his head in exasperation. He turned his marshmallow, then yanked it back when it caught fire. He blew on it to extinguish it, letting it cool for a moment before popping the blackened, gooey mess into his mouth. “At the very least, I think we’ll be able to squeeze in some drunken frivolity while still keeping up with our adult responsibilities.”

“I don’t like to think that far ahead.” Remus sipped his beer and stared into the fire. The light from the flames illuminated his face, throwing the scars and dark circles under his eyes into sharp relief. 

“Why not?” James asked, watching Sirius roast another marshmallow. “I think that’s about to catch fire, Padfoot, unless you’re going for another burnt one.”

“Have faith, Prongs, I know what I’m doing.” He turned it once again, then pulled it away from the flames to examine it. The marshmallow had turned a perfect golden brown, and he held it up with a triumphant grin. “See? Perfectly-roasted marshmallow.” He held the skewer out to Remus. “Here, you have this one, Moony. Maybe it’ll wipe that dark, brooding look off your face.” He continued to wave the skewer around until Remus removed the marshmallow and took a bite. “For the record, I’m supposed to be the dark brooding one.”

“You don’t have a monopoly on it,” Remus argued through a mouthful of marshmallow. “Anyway, I’m not being dark and brooding, or, I dunno, I guess I am. I just…” He sighed and took a sip of his beer, leaving a sticky smear of marshmallow on the can. “It’s probably the best it’ll ever be. At Hogwarts, I mean, running around with you idiots. I don’t much like to think about what it’ll be like after.” He finished his beer and fiddled with the empty can, twisting the tab around and around before breaking it off and dropping it into the opening. “I mean, I know what it’ll be like, because it’s what summers are like, except what gets me through the summer is knowing I’ll be back at Hogwarts in the fall. What the fuck’s going to get me through once we leave Hogwarts?” The words he’d spoken and the implied meaning behind them hung in the air, underscored by the fresh scars that stood out against his pale skin. 

Peter gazed at Remus, his face creased with concern. “Well, shit, Moony, now I’m depressed.” 

Sirius ignored Peter and clapped Remus on the back. “We’ll get you through, you prat. What, you think we’re going to disappear the day we finish Hogwarts? You can’t get rid of us that easy.”

Remus glanced sideways at him and frowned. “How’re you going to - you won’t be able to-”

Sirius shrugged. “We’ll figure out a way. We always do.”

“How?” Remus demanded. 

“Moony, you’re asking a lot of hard questions, and I’ve had a lot of beers, so I’m not going to be able to just pull a solution out of my arse at this precise moment. But we will figure it out when we’re a bit more sober, won’t we, Prongs?”

James nodded. “Course we will. Now cheer up and have another beer so you’re drunk enough not to argue when I bury you in the sand.”

Remus accepted the beer James handed him and managed a weak smile. “Yeah, all right, although I dunno what your fascination is with burying me in the sand.”

Several beers later Remus lay stretched out on the beach while James gleefully piled sand on his legs. He had tried to Summon a shovel but had only managed to acquire a tiny plastic one leftover from his childhood. He alternated between using that and digging with magic; it was slow going because his drunken state rendered both methods fairly ineffective.

“You’re getting sand in my beer,” Remus complained, attempting to dislodge the sand from the top of the can.

“It’ll just add flavor,” James said as he deposited a shovelful of sand on top of Remus’s knee. “Finish it now, though, because once I bury your arms you won’t be able to drink it.”

Sirius and Peter sat sprawled in front of the fire, having lost interest in James’s ‘Bury Moony’ project. There were several empty beer cans scattered around them, and they both wore sleepy, contented expressions. 

“Wormtail,” Sirius began, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “you listening?”

Peter looked over at him, his movements slow and lazy. “Listening to what?”

“To a rare moment of Sirius Black sentimentality.” He slurred the last word and chuckled. “Fuck. You know what I mean.”

Peter grinned. “Yeah, I do. I’m pretty fluent in drunk Padfoot. Anyway, I’m listening.”

Sirius kept his hand on Peter’s shoulder as he spoke. “I give you shit about a lot of things,” he began. “Probably even more than I do Moony, and I give Moony a lot of shit.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Peter said when it became apparent Sirius was awaiting a response.

“But you know that’s just because you’re my friend, right?” Sirius’s words had a slight pleading tone, as if trying to justify himself. “If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t give you shit. I’d just, fuckin’, I dunno, ignore you. Wouldn’t bother talking to you at all.” Sirius reached for his beer, then realized it was empty and tossed it down onto the sand in irritation. “You know that, right?”

Peter looked at Sirius, both amused and touched by this unexpected outpouring of affection. “I know, Padfoot.” 

Sirius frowned and placed his other hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Do you, though? Sometimes I think-” he paused and glanced around to ensure nobody would overhear, “don’t tell anyone I said this, but sometimes I think, ‘You know, I should be nicer to Wormtail.’ But then you go and shag Bertha Jorkins or wear those bloody stupid pajamas or call Professor Sprout ‘Mum’ by accident and I have to make fun of you because it’s just too damn easy.” He paused for a moment, mulling this over. “I guess that makes me sort of a shit friend, but I’m also a really good friend because I would hex the fuck out of anyone who’s stupid enough to go after you.”

“You  _ have  _ hexed the fuck out of anyone who’s stupid enough to go after me,” Peter said, grinning. 

“Right, and don’t think I won’t do it again.” Sirius blinked several times, losing his train of thought for a moment before he remembered the point he was trying to make. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I have your back, and you’re one of my best mates, even if you do have bloody awful taste in girls and you can’t stay awake at parties.”

“Thanks, Padfoot,” Peter said. His blue eyes were wide, and his amusement had faded until only genuine appreciation remained. “I mean, I know, but it means a lot, because you don’t normally talk about things like this.”

“No, I don’t, because I don’t believe in sentimental bullshit,” Sirius said, a wide grin spreading across his face. “But you lucked out, because right now I have reached that rare drunken state that makes me not mind being a bit sentimental.” He grimaced. “But still, don’t tell anyone. Reputation to maintain and all that.” 

Peter nodded. “Course not. It would ruin your image as the dark, brooding bloke who rides a motorbike and punches things.”

“Exactly.” Sirius fell silent, and for a moment he seemed about to hug Peter, but thought better of it and patted his shoulder instead before letting his arms drop to his sides. “Want to get another beer and then see if Prongs is almost finished burying Moony?” 

  
  



	10. Are You Going to Lie Awake Thinking about This Like a Prat?

_ Dear Potter, _

_ A man went to the zoo. There was only one animal in the entire zoo. It was a Shih Tzu. (This one actually made me laugh). _

_ I’m glad you enjoyed your time at the beach. Your family’s beach house sounds brilliant. I’d love to see it someday. _

Lily reread the last sentence, then scowled and crossed it out, pressing down so hard with the quill that she almost tore through the parchment. When she was satisfied that he wouldn’t be able to decipher the words through the thick black scribbles, she returned to the letter and tried again.

_ I’ve been dreadfully bored the past few days. Mary’s been working nonstop, and when she’s not working she’s with Sirius (or so I suspect, anyway, because she’s annoyingly vague on the subject). I even got bored enough to consider doing the Transfiguration essay, although I decided I wasn’t quite that bored yet. My parents are great to talk to, but they’re working most of the time, and the house is so quiet. Mostly I’ve been taking Duncan on lots of walks, but you can only talk to your dog so much before it starts to get weird. Now it’s nearly midnight and I can’t sleep, so I’ve decided to write you a letter. _

_ Are you dying of boredom like I am? I figure you’re probably with Sirius most of the time, and practicing Quidditch when he’s off with Mary, but if you are bored, I was wondering if you might like to get together? We could meet up in London, or you could come here if you like, although I don’t know what we’d do, as Cokeworth is pretty dull. Either way, I thought it might be fun to see each other in person rather than just talking through letters. Unless you’d rather not, which is completely understandable, I just figured I would ask in case you’re dying to get out of your house. _

She stared at the last paragraph, feeling her cheeks grow warm at the thought of being so forward. Could she really just ask James Potter to meet up with her, or even more ridiculous, to come visit her at her house? She pictured him walking up her driveway and knocking on her front door, his thin frame and untidy hair somehow out of place in her neighborhood. Her mind wandered and she imagined him entering her room, gazing around at the posters and decorations on her wall and commenting on the pink flowered wallpaper her parents had been foolish enough to allow her to choose when she was younger. Her cheeks burned even hotter as she thought of him sitting on her bed next to her, their legs almost close enough to touch, their faces only inches apart…

Lily stood up, knocking her knee against the side of the desk in her haste to free herself from the chair. She swore under her breath as she strode across the room and pushed open the door, making her way to the kitchen in hopes that a change of scenery would help her clear her mind. Duncan lay curled on the floor in front of the refrigerator, and he thumped his tail as she gave him a pet on the head before gently nudging him aside and opening the refrigerator door.

After staring at the contents of the refrigerator with disinterest, she pulled a box of biscuits from the cupboard and sat down at the table. Duncan sat beside her, staring hopefully at the box of biscuits while she paged through  _ The Daily Prophet.  _ She munched through several biscuits without even tasting them as she read the same paragraph three times without absorbing a single word. 

“Bloody hell,” she muttered, folding up the newspaper and returning the biscuits to the cupboard before plopping down on the living room couch in irritation. She flipped on the television, keeping the volume low so it would not wake her parents. She tried to focus her attention on the television screen, but her mind kept returning inexplicably to James Potter. He had probably never watched television before, and she wondered what he would think of the silly program she watched with her mother.

_ “This is what Muggles do for entertainment?” He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the sofa, glancing over to flash that stupid irresistible grin at her. _

_ “Yes, among other things.” She smiled back at him, keenly aware of the mere inches that separated them.  _

_ “So what’s the story with this bloke?” He gestured at the television screen, where a handsome man with dark hair whispered into a blonde woman’s ear. _

_ “That’s Henry,” Lily explained. She couldn’t believe she was really sitting here with James Potter, explaining the plot of a Muggle soap opera. “He’s just come back from a trip around the world. He’s in love with her - that’s Maggie - he’s been in love with her for ages. She claims she doesn’t feel the same, but she really just doesn’t know how to admit she feels the same way. I think they’re - yes, they’re definitely about to shag.” _

_ He glanced sideways at her and raised his eyebrows, and she felt herself blush. “Lucky for Henry,” he murmured. _

_ She scrambled to form words, but his face was coming closer to hers, and if she moved her hand even an inch she could lace her fingers through his. Her heart pounded in her chest and she wondered if he could hear it.  _

_ “Lucky for Henry,” she repeated when she finally forced her lips to work, and it was a stupid thing to say but it didn’t seem to matter, he didn’t seem to hear because he was so intent on leaning ever closer to her. She let her eyes flutter shut and leaned forward the slightest bit… _

She shook her head to clear her thoughts, then snapped off the television and sat in silence for almost a full minute. Once she had regained her composure she shut off the lights and retreated to her bedroom where she flopped down onto her bed. After covering her face with her hands and taking several deep breaths, she rested her hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling. She felt restless and agitated, and her brain seemed unable to focus on anything besides bloody daydreams about James Potter.  _ What in Merlin’s name is wrong with me?  _

The unfinished letter sitting abandoned on her desk caught her attention. She considered the possibility of finishing it and sending it off; she would have to do it soon, before she lost her nerve. But would he want to see her? Who was she kidding - of course he would, he was bloody James Potter. She slid off the bed and padded over to her desk, then scrawled a few more sentences, intending to finish up the letter and send it off tonight so it would reach him and they could make plans as soon as possible. She could almost hear him laughing and making fun of her Paul Simon poster as he lounged on her bed and ran a hand through that untidy hair.

The letter was signed and rolled up, and she was about to let her owl out of his cage when she paused, her frenzied determination turning to doubt. What if he didn’t want to get together? What if she looked like a complete bloody idiot for throwing herself at him? She didn’t think she could bear it if he let her down gently and politely:  _ I’m a bit busy at the moment, but I’ll see you at school!  _ She imagined him telling Sirius about it, his expression kind with a hint of embarrassment:  _ “Evans invited me to her house, can you believe that, Padfoot? I felt a bit bad, but I just don’t fancy her anymore. I thought she understood that we’re just friends.”  _

The letter clutched in her hand felt weighty, important, and she stared at it for a moment before returning to her desk and unrolling the parchment. She reread it several times, frowning as she teetered on the edge of a decision. The words  _ “I thought she understood that we’re just friends”  _ echoed in her head until it was all she could hear in the late night hush of her bedroom. Finally she picked up the parchment and tore it in half, then crumpled up the pieces and tossed them onto the floor. 

Several frustrated moments passed as she repressed the urge to snap her quill in half and knock her ink onto the floor. Once the feelings of anger and foolishness faded she took out a fresh piece of parchment and dipped her quill into the ink once more, then began to write a new letter, filled with descriptions of her recent conversations with her parents and speculations about Mary and Sirius but devoid of any invitation to get together. When she finished writing she sent it off, watching her owl fade away into the night before shutting off the light and crawling under the covers. She tossed and turned for hours, thoughts of James still tumbling around her brain until she finally fell into a fitful doze. 

_ Dear Evans, _

_ I’ll be honest, I also laughed at your shih tzu joke, so well done with that one. Here’s my latest: Why don’t crabs donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.  _

_ I’ve been focusing on Quidditch a lot lately. I won’t bore you with the details (not that Quidditch is ever boring, but I know it’s not your favorite topic, although I bet I could change your mind if you gave it a chance). I had the team come over and train for a day, so it was good to be able to see them and play together after training alone or with Sirius all summer. I’ve been trying to work on strategies for the coming season, but it’s hard to create plays when I’m going to be adding three new players and I don’t know what the dynamic will be like with the rest of the team.  _

_ I was thinking if you were free you might want to get together and do something? It might be fun to meet up in Diagon Alley. We could see if Mary and Sirius want to join us. Or if you rather you could come here. My parents would love to have you, and we could go in the pool or you can watch me play Quidditch (just kidding) or we have a decent library that you’d probably like. If you don’t want to it’s completely fine. I won’t be offended at all if you have better things to do, and if you aren’t interested just say so and I promise I won’t bring it up again. I just thought you might like to do something besides sit around at home or listen to Mary talk about her sex life… _

The quill paused at the end of the last sentence, and James frowned as he reread the paragraph. Was he crazy to think she might actually want to see him? Over the past months they had become quite close; he found himself confiding in her and seeking her opinion more and more, and she did the same. She seemed to truly enjoy corresponding with him, otherwise why would she write such lengthy, descriptive responses? In her most recent letters she had poured her heart out, confessing her fears and worries about the future and revealing a vulnerability that he was almost certain she showed to few other people. Surely she wouldn’t trust him with these intimate details if she didn’t value his friendship and enjoy his company? 

He allowed himself to imagine her in his house, her red hair fanning out behind her as she jumped into the pool, her green eyes lighting up as she browsed the books in the library, the flowery scent of her perfume lingering in the air as she perched on the edge of his bed. This seemed too much to hope for, and yet this was a self-indulgent daydream, so why not allow his imagination free reign? James could almost hear the squeak of the bed springs as she leaned closer, could almost feel her hand on the back of his head, tangling in his hair as she drew him towards her until their lips met...

James’s barn owl let out a shrill hoot and startled him from his reverie. He ran a hand through his hair and forced himself to take a deep breath before returning to the letter.  _ Stop being a bloody prat and get ahold of yourself.  _ He had worked so hard to restrain his idiotic tendencies and emphasize his more attractive qualities in his letters, and their friendship had come so far. Now more than ever he could not afford to let his guard down now and rush into this invitation without thinking through all the ramifications, even if the idea of Lily Evans in his bedroom was so appealing that it kept creeping in and overpowering all of his more rational, coherent thoughts. 

A Quaffle lay abandoned on the floor by the coffee table, and James reached for it and began tossing it into the air. The motion gave him something to focus his energy on and helped him to think, and he spent the next few minutes brainstorming all the ways this could go wrong. Just because they had formed a close friendship did not necessarily mean she would be interested in seeing him over the summer, as exchanging letters was far less of a commitment than spending time with someone face to face. He could already feel the sinking disappointment of reading a kind but firm rejection in her next letter. 

A new thought occurred to James, causing him to throw the Quaffle so hard it bounced off the ceiling: what if she accepted the invitation and he botched the visit somehow? It would be such a classic James Potter move to slip up and say the wrong thing; he had years of experience to draw from, even if his track record had improved steadily since his decision to, as he put it, deflate his head a bit. Lily’s voice raised in anger rang in his head as he saw her storming out of the house and Apparating before he had a chance to explain himself or beg her to stay. He sighed and a wry smile crept over his face.  _ Typical Evans, shouting at me even in my bloody daydreams.  _

James returned to the letter, unsure how to proceed. The thought of signing it and sending it off before he could overthink the consequences was tempting, yet the image of Lily slamming the door and walking out in anger made him hesitate. The crippling indecision and doubt drove him mad, because Lily Evans alone had the ability to wreak such havoc with his usual unabashed confidence. He ran a hand through his hair in irritation, frustrated by his inability to complete a task as mundane as finishing a letter. Except it was not mundane, not at all, because this letter could erase almost a year’s worth of progress with just a few casual sentences. Sighing, James sifted through pieces of parchment, a Quidditch magazine, and scattered Exploding Snap cards until he uncovered the two-way mirror. This predicament was too tricky to solve on his own; he needed a voice of reason, even if that voice of reason happened to be Sirius Black.

As he waited for his friend’s face to appear in the mirror, he stretched out on his bed with the mirror propped up on his pillow. He had to repeat Sirius’s name three times before he appeared in the mirror, yawning and blinking in confusion.

“Prongs? Bloody hell, what time is it?” He cast around for his watch, dropping the mirror in the process so James now saw a blurred image of a duvet instead of his friend’s face.

“It’s almost one in the morning,” James replied, after glancing at his watch and noting the time with surprise. “Sorry, I know it’s late - wait, hang on, before you pick up the mirror again, are you wearing anything?”

Sirius picked up the mirror again and grinned. “Don’t worry, I have pants on this time.” He put a cigarette to his lips and lit it, then took a long drag, smiling in contentment as the smoke filled his lungs before he released it in a long, slow stream. “So you’re awake in the middle of the night and you have that flustered Prongs look. What’s Evans done this time?”

James laughed and shook his head in exasperation. “Is it that bloody obvious?”

“Mate, I’ve only ever seen you look that way because of Evans. Well, maybe Quidditch too, but seeing as Gryffindor’s season hasn’t started yet and the Bats just won their last match, my money’s on Evans. So go on, tell me about it.” He took another drag on his cigarette and fell silent, waiting for James to speak.

“Well, it’s not so much that she’s done something,” James began, feeling foolish. Why was he wasting Sirius’s time with this, when he should be perfectly capable of making a decision on his own? Yet he plowed on all the same, because truth be told he didn’t trust his own judgement. “It’s just, I’m considering writing and asking her if she wants to, er, come over.” 

“Oh!” Sirius raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Come over to do what?”

“Oh, sod you,” James snapped. “I figured we could go in the pool, or, I dunno, play Exploding Snap, or sit around in my room and-”

“Snog?” Sirius finished. 

“No!” James hesitated, his mind flickering back to the imagined scenario on his bed. “Well, I mean, obviously I wouldn’t be bloody opposed to it, but I wouldn’t expect it. That would not be my primary reason for inviting her. It would be more of an, er, added bonus.” He laughed. “This is a bloody terrible idea, isn’t it? I should go tear up that letter.”

Sirius frowned. “It’s not a terrible idea, exactly.” His face left the mirror for a moment as he looked for somewhere to drop his cigarette butt. “It should, in theory, be a completely reasonable idea. You’re friends, and friends see each other over the summer.”

James nodded, already finishing the letter in his mind. “Right, that’s true.”

Sirius tapped his fingers against the side of his face as he thought aloud. “And you want to be more than friends, and to be more than friends it’s helpful to be in the same general area. Anyone else, I’d say just fucking do it. It’d be the perfect opportunity, really.”

“It would, wouldn’t it,” James agreed. Once again he pictured Lily sitting on his bed, reclining back against his pillows, laughing softly and looking up at him. 

“But,” Sirius said, holding up a hand and shattering the illusion, “you’re also prone to being a fucking idiot, no offense.”

James wanted to argue, but felt he had no ground to stand on, as Sirius could probably come up with five excellent examples of aforementioned idiocy without even pausing to think. “Yeah, all right, that’s also true.”

“And Evans is, well, you have to tread carefully with her,” Sirius continued. “I’m 100% sure she has feelings for you, but she has to realize that on her own, and I think she needs to come to that conclusion slowly. If it’s rushed, she’ll get fucking weird about it, you know how Evans is.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t do it?” James asked with a sigh. 

“I mean, what the fuck do I know,” Sirius said, chuckling. “I am not at all qualified to offer relationship advice. I’m just saying, I’m very familiar with your idiotic tendencies, and I’m also very familiar with how Evans reacts to your idiotic tendencies, so I think you should proceed with caution. Which I realize sounds bloody ridiculous coming from me-”

“I wasn’t going to point it out, but it is pretty bloody ridiculous,” James interrupted, grinning. 

Sirius nodded. “Right, that’s why I said it sounds bloody ridiculous. Anyway, I dunno, do whatever you think is best. I just think you’ve worked hard all summer to think everything through, and it’s worked for you so far. The one time you lost your temper and sent off a letter without thinking, she didn’t write back for a week and you were inconsolable.”

James ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, point taken,” he said sheepishly. 

“So just, I dunno, sleep on it, yeah? Wait till tomorrow to send it, to make sure it feels right.” Sirius yawned and shook his hair out of his face, then noticed the doubtful expression on James’s face. “You gonna be able to sleep, or are you going to lie awake thinking about this like a prat?”

“I’ll probably lie awake thinking about it like a prat.”

“Thought so,” Sirius said, nodding. “Well, you could have a drink, that always helps me fall asleep.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” James nodded, but his expression remained uncertain. 

Sirius shrugged. “Or if you prefer, you could try my other failsafe fall asleep method.” He raised his eyebrows. “I’m talking about-”

James held up a hand. “Got it. Thanks.” He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll figure it out. Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s all right. I’ll just be there about a half hour later tomorrow, to make up for the lost sleep.” He grinned. “Night.”

“Thanks, Padfoot. Night.”

James set down the mirror and sighed, then stood and returned to the armchair in front of the coffee table. He picked up the letter and reread it, then stared at it for a moment and sighed again. He did not need to sleep on it to know that Sirius was absolutely right. There was too much that could go wrong, too many opportunities to make a mess of it. He sighed again before crumpling up the parchment and tossing it across the room into the rubbish bin. Pulling a fresh piece of parchment towards him, he continued to write despite his frequent yawns and heavy eyelids until he had a finished letter. He read it over, nodded in satisfaction, then sent it off with his owl before he could overthink it. Once his owl had disappeared into the night, James crossed the room and shut off the light before collapsing onto his bed, where he lay awake both regretting his decision and feeling a grudging relief until he eventually drifted off into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Lily.

  
  



	11. Your Boy Was There

Your Boy Was There

_ Dear Potter, _

_ Very poor effort with the shellfish joke. You can do better. What do you think of this one: What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.  _

_ I keep picking up my textbooks and thinking about doing the summer homework, but then I can’t bring myself to do it. Have you done any of it? I know Mary hasn’t. Maybe we should all have a study party and just force each other to get it done. We could do it at Sirius’s flat (isn’t it nice of me to volunteer for him to host), and I’ll bring snacks, and we can just power through and motivate each other to get it done. You can sit next to me and help me with Transfiguration and kick me if I start to slack off, and I can help you with Potions if you like because that’s the one assignment I’ve actually done. _

_ Mary came over yesterday and she told me all about her fight with her mum and going out with you and Sirius. First of all, SHE RAN TO SIRIUS FOR COMFORT. How can she tell me that and then still pretend they’re just friends who shag? Also, I’m a bit jealous, because it sounds like you had an excellent time. Mary tells me you’re really good at pool, which is somewhat adorable and also does not surprise me at all. When we all go out for Mary’s birthday, you should definitely teach me… _

A faint streetlight illuminated the path as Lily and Mary strolled through the litter-strewn grass to the park. The evening air had cooled but was still muggy as they approached their destination, broken glass and empty cans crunching underneath their feet and mingling with the girls’ conversation. When they reached the swingset, they each took one of the old plastic swings and Mary lit a joint she had stashed in her pocket. 

“It’s kind of funny that I used to come here with my sister, and then to meet up with Severus, and now I’m here so we can smoke a joint without my parents finding out,” Lily mused before accepting the joint from Mary and putting it to her lips. 

“I don’t know if funny’s the right word,” Mary replied, watching the smoke from Lily’s hit float away on the light breeze. “But it’s something.” She took the joint back from Lily and took a hit, closing her eyes as she released the smoke. “You seen him since you ran into him here that time?” Her face was contented and relaxed as she gave the joint back to Lily and gripped the rusty chain, then pumped her legs several times and let herself drift forwards and backwards on the swing. 

Lily shook her head. “No, but I’ve sort of been avoiding this place,” she admitted, emitting a slight cough as she released the smoke from another hit. “I was sort of afraid we’d run into him tonight, but I expect he’s holed up in his room, coming up with his own Dark Magic spells or whatever he bloody does in his spare time.”

Mary nodded, her expression dark. “Probably. Fucking Snape.” They smoked in silence for a few more minutes, leaning back in the swings and listening to the distant sound of someone’s radio and a couple shouting at each other.

“I had a big fight with my mum the other night,” Mary said, breaking the silence after finishing the joint and grinding it out beneath her shoe. “I told you about her latest git of a boyfriend, right?”

Lily nodded, keeping her feet planted on the ground, because swinging gave her an unsettling feeling. 

“Well, it all came to a head the other night, and I was so bloody angry I was about to lose it, so I left. I was so upset I could barely think straight, I hardly knew where I was going, but I ended up at Black’s flat.” She glanced sideways at Lily. “I know what you’re going to say, but I dunno, his flat was close enough to get to quickly, and I figured he wouldn’t judge me for leaving like that because it’s the same way he left his house last summer, except he never went back because his parents are bloody horrible people, and my mum just makes the worst possible decisions.”

“All right,” Lily said, raising her eyebrows. “If you say so. Well, go on, what happened?”

“Your boy was there,” she said, smiling and wrapping a lock of hair around her finger.

“He’s not my boy,” Lily protested, but Mary rolled her eyes and continued without acknowledging the interruption.

“So at first I was going to clear out, because I didn’t want to interrupt, but we ended up going to this Muggle pub to get drunk.”

“What? How’d you get in?” Lily asked, feeling inexplicably letdown that she had missed this impromptu outing. 

Mary grinned. “They magically altered our IDs to say we were old enough. I don’t think it’s the first time they’ve done that, as hard as that is to believe. Anyway, I taught them to play pool, which was a laugh. Black’s bloody awful, but Potter is a natural.”

Lily imagined James leaning over a pool table, the stick poised in his hand and his brow furrowed in concentration as he took aim at a ball. For some reason she found the image irresistible and had to pump her legs and get the swing moving to get it out of her head. 

“We had a great time, just drinking and talking about who knows what. Black and I sort of had a heart to heart, about how he felt guilty for leaving his brother behind the same way I felt guilty for leaving my mum, but ultimately we had to do what was best for ourselves. It made me feel a lot better, actually.” Mary looked over at Lily, and her face looked open and vulnerable in the dim light. “But then some bloke was giving me a hard time, and Black went and fucking punched him and started a brawl.” 

Lily gaped at her for a moment, then burst into laughter. Mary joined in, remembering the tangle of limbs and the sound of breaking glass and falling furniture that had resulted from Sirius’s inability to think before he acted. When their laughter petered out, Lily gave her a pointed look.

“So what you’re telling me is, Black got into a bar fight to defend your honor?” she asked.

Mary rolled her eyes and nodded. “That’s what I’m telling you. Potter tried to pull him away but ended up joining in. They knocked over a table and caused a whole bloody scene. The bouncer had to get involved and we had to run for it.” She shook her head in exasperation, but there was a hint of affection in her tone. “He’s such an idiot.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “But you loved it.” She stared over at Mary until her frown of stubborn denial relaxed into a grin.

“All right, I fucking loved it,” Mary admitted. 

Lily chuckled. “You’re the idiot.” She shook her head, imaging what a mess it must have all been. Her mind presented her with the image of James sporting a split lip and cut knuckles, aiming a punch at the sort of unsavory man she imagined might be involved in a bar fight. For some reason she found the situation intriguing rather than ridiculous, but she told herself this must be due to the effects of the marijuana.

Mary threw her head back and laughed. “This is not new information, Lil.” 

She stood and wandered over to a patch of grass underneath a tree, stretching out flat on her back with her head resting against her arms. Lily watched her for a moment, then hopped down from the swing and joined her. They lay in silence for a few minutes, each lost in her own thoughts as they gazed up at the stars.

“Do you remember my birthday?” Lily asked, and her voice sounded strange and too loud in the introspective quiet of the evening. “All of us drunk and laying in the snow like idiots, looking up at the stars?”

Mary did not reply, but kept her eyes fixed on the sky as she toyed with a lock of hair. Lily glanced over at her, then touched her shoulder to get her attention. “Hmm?” She turned to face Lily, a distracted, faraway expression on her face. 

“I said, do you remember all of us doing this at my birthday after we left The Three Broomsticks?” Lily repeated. She plucked a blade of grass and twisted it between her fingers as she remembered the feeling of drunken euphoria and the chill of that January night.

“I do,” Mary agreed. Her voice sounded faint and dreamy, as she too had been transported back to that back garden in Hogsmeade by the mention of the memory. 

“I dunno why, but I feel like that night was sort of a turning point,” Lily continued. “For our friendship, I mean. Not just me and you, but all of us.” She pictured the grin on James’s face as she showed him how to play Quarters and he mastered it on his first try, and his expression of surprised pleasure when she had unexpectedly thrown her arms around him at the end of the night. Before that night she would not necessarily have described her relationship with James as a friendship, but after he and his friends had sneaked them through a secret passage to Hogsmeade so she could get drunk at an actual pub on her seventeenth birthday, their friendship had become an undisputed fact. She smiled, thinking of all the inside jokes and memories and boxes of Bertie Botts they had shared in the six months since that evening.

“I feel that way too, but I can’t really say why,” Mary said, and Lily had been so lost in her own thoughts that the sound of her friend’s voice startled her. “I fucking love those idiots. Don’t you?”

Lily closed her eyes and saw that stupid, goofy grin, that untidy black hair, those hazel eyes always sparkling with mischief behind the glasses. “Yeah, I really do.”

They lay there in silence for a while, both mulling over the conversation and the emotions that hung between them, unspoken and unacknowledged, yet a heavy and almost tangible presence all the same. After an indeterminable amount of time, Lily rolled over onto her side and propped her head on her hand. 

“Hey,” she said, breaking the thoughtful silence. “Is James any good in a fist fight?”

Mary laughed and rolled over to face her. “You want a blow by blow, don’t you?”

Lily grinned. “I do, a bit. I just…” She bit her lip and looked away, afraid Mary would be able to see through her feigned indifference. “I just wish I could’ve been there. It sounds exciting.”

“It was. And I’m sure you’re just sad to have missed out on a wild night and it’s nothing at all to do with who happened to be there,” Mary said, a sly smile on her face as she raised her eyebrows at Lily then plowed on with the story to stave off any protests. “Right, so it all started when this bloke asked to buy me a drink…”

_ Dear Evans,  _

_ How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. _

_ I think your study party is an excellent idea. I haven’t done any work at all yet, and I know Sirius hasn’t either, and seeing as Peter hasn’t written to me desperate for help, I’m assuming he hasn’t done any work either. Remus has probably started, but he most likely still has some to finish, and even if he’s done it all, he’d probably be happy to sit there and read a novel and eat chocolate while we all work.  _

_ I’m sorry you had to miss our night out with Mary. It was obviously not planned, otherwise I would have invited you to come along. It was a great time, but would have been much better if you could’ve joined us. _

James stared at the last two sentences, frowning. He picked up Lily’s last letter and reread the beginning. The same lines stood out, tumbling around in his head and filling him with hope that he tried in vain to repress.  _ You can sit next to me… I’m a bit jealous… Mary tells me you’re really good at pool, which is somewhat adorable…  _ The word ‘adorable’ became fixed in his head, causing a little burst of excitement each time he read it. 

The sound of a motorbike outside the window startled James from his thoughts, and he grabbed Lily’s letter and bounded across the room for the door. He was in such a hurry that he tripped over a Quaffle he’d left in the middle of the floor and had to flail his arms to stay upright. Grateful that nobody had been around to see this less-than-graceful display, he dashed out the door and down the stairs, jumping the last three and landing hard before nearly colliding with Sirius as he came through the front door.

“Where’s the fire, Prongs?” Sirius asked, grinning and taking a step back to avoid being knocked over.

James thrust the parchment into Sirius’s hand. “Read this,” he ordered. “Not the whole thing, just the first three paragraphs.” 

“Can I settle in for a second first? Maybe get a snack, sit down?” Sirius took a step toward the kitchen, but James put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Nope, no time, this is a matter of life and death. Just read it and tell me what you think.”

Sirius rolled his eyes but followed instructions, his eyes darting over the parchment as he skimmed Lily’s words. When he finished he glanced up, looking puzzled. “Why is this a matter of life and death?”

“Well, all right, I might have exaggerated a bit, but what do you think she meant by this?” He reached for the parchment and pointed to a sentence. “‘ _ You can sit next to me.’”  _ He raised his eyebrows and waited for Sirius to reply. 

“Well, reading between the lines, I reckon it means she wants you to sit next to her,” Sirius said. “Kind of her to volunteer my flat for this get-together, isn’t it?” 

“But what does that mean?” James persisted. “Do you think she means, like, she wants me to  _ sit next to her? _ Or just she wants me to sit next to her so I can help her with Transfiguration and not for any other reason?”

Sirius sighed. “You’re going to make me do a full analysis of this letter, aren’t you? All right, fine, but I’m going to need a snack.” He led the way into the kitchen and snatched a plate of biscuits from the counter before settling himself at the table and pulling a chair out for James.

“Right,” he said, biting into a biscuit and holding out his hand for the letter. “Let me see this…” He scanned the sentence in question, then nodded. “It seems like she wants you to sit next to her and made it a point to mention that.”

“I thought so!” James exclaimed. “Because I could help her with Transfiguration even if I’m sitting across from her or whatever, you know? And I’ve already basically told her how to approach the essay, so I don’t think she’d even need much help.”

“Even just the idea of us all getting together and studying bodes well,” Sirius said, cramming the rest of the biscuit into his mouth and reaching for another. “She clearly misses you and isn’t really trying to hide it.”

“Do you really think so?” James’s face broke into a wide smile, and he was so buoyed up by hope that he didn’t even shout at Sirius for spraying his letter with bits of half-chewed biscuit.

“Yup, I’d say so.” He pointed to another sentence and nodded. “And this bit here, where she says she’s jealous Mary got to go to the pub with us-”

“I know!” James interrupted, leaning over to peer at the letter over Sirius’s shoulder. “I can’t believe she actually said that!” He ran a hand through his hair and beamed down at the letter. 

“Hang on,” Sirius said before rising and striding out of the room. He returned a minute later with something clutched in his hand. “Be ready.”

James frowned. “Be ready for what?” he asked, but realized a moment later what Sirius had meant when he opened his fist and released a Snitch. James made a grab for it and caught it just before it fluttered out of reach.

“You were practically bouncing in your seat and it was driving me mad,” Sirius explained. “I figured you needed a way to channel your energy.”

“Oh, okay. Cheers.” James opened his hand and let the Snitch fly for a few seconds before reaching out and catching it with his left hand. He found he did feel a bit less frenetic when he had something else to focus his mind on. “Anyway, go on. What else?”

“Well like I said, I think she’d like to see you before school starts, which is why she mentioned going out for Macdonald’s birthday.” Sirius tapped his fingers on the table then looked over at James. “I really don’t see you two officially getting together until the fall, but I dunno, get her a bit tipsy in the dim light of a pub, and who knows what might happen.” 

James widened his eyes and stared at Sirius, forgetting about the Snitch which fluttered up toward the ceiling. “You really think so?” His voice was quiet and intense, and he bit his lip and waited for Sirius’s response as though he could hardly dare to hope for something so bold.

Sirius chuckled, then stood on the table to retrieve the Snitch. “Merlin, get ahold of yourself, Prongs. What the fuck do I know? I’m just offering you my opinion.” He placed the Snitch in James’s hand, then reached for a third biscuit. “I’m just saying, she did call you adorable.” He tapped the parchment and grinned. “Well, all right, technically she said your pool skills are adorable, but same thing, right?”

James froze, the Snitch still clutched in his fingers. “Is it?” he demanded, looking stricken. “I was thinking it is the same, but what if that’s not what she meant at all? What if she just thinks it’s adorable when any wizard is good at something Muggles do? Or what if she thinks it’s adorable that I’m good at something you’re rubbish at? Or what if she just meant it’s adorable that Mary taught us to play a Muggle game?” He let the Snitch escape from his grasp and rested his head in his hands with a dramatic sigh. “What if we’re thinking way too much into all of this and interpreting it all wrong? She probably doesn’t even miss me at all.” He picked his head up to gaze at Sirius with an expression of piteous desperation before giving up and resting his forehead against the table.

Sirius sighed. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He stood and placed a hand on James’s shoulder. “Listen, Prongs. I don’t talk to Evans on a regular basis, nor am I a Legilimens. I don’t know what’s going through her head, or if there is any hidden meaning to what she writes in her letters. I’d say yes, you are absolutely thinking way too much into all of this, but that’s just because you’re a lovesick prat and you can’t help it.” Sirius glanced at the letter once again before rolling it up and setting it on the table. “As far as I can tell, you’ve been doing really well with Evans, and I think this letter is proof of that. See how things go when you see her for Macdonald’s birthday, but don’t go crazy thinking about it. Now, I think we need something to take your mind off this, because you’re making my fucking brain hurt.” He clapped James on the back and took a step toward the door. “Come on, let’s go fly around for a bit. And I’m not about to climb up on the table to get that Snitch again, so you’d better grab it.” He nodded at the Snitch now hovering above their heads.

James grinned and stood. “I’ll get it later.” They headed for the door, stopping to greet Euphemia as she wandered in clutching a newspaper under her arm.

“Oh, hello, Sirius,” she said, beaming at him and giving him a quick hug before taking a seat at the table. “I see you found the biscuits.” She reached up to brush away the Snitch that was fluttering just above her head. “There’s a Snitch in my kitchen,” she observed.

“Blame your son,” Sirius said, nodding at James.

“Which one?” she asked as she paged through the newspaper to find the crossword. 

“James, obviously. Nothing’s ever my fault. I’m a perfect angel. Toss me another biscuit, will you?” 

Euphemia frowned but took a biscuit from the plate and threw it in Sirius’s direction. He leapt sideways to catch it in his mouth, then gave her a thumbs up while brushing crumbs from his shirt with his other hand. Her eyes darted to the crumbs on the floor, but she merely raised her eyebrows and took a biscuit for herself.

“What’s this?” She picked up Lily’s letter and began to unroll it, but James pulled out his wand to Summon it before she had time to read a single word.

“Nothing,” he said, folding it up and placing it in his back pocket, taking care not to crumple or tear it. “Just a letter.”

Euphemia raised her eyebrows, but James dragged Sirius off to the Quidditch pitch before he could finish chewing his biscuit and reveal anything about the letter. 

“You know what might be fun?” Sirius asked, slipping on a pair of sunglasses. “Want to race my motorbike against your broom?”

James’s face lit up. “Bloody hell, how are we just thinking of this now?”

They spent the next hour flying up and down the pitch and all over the grounds. The motorbike proved to be faster once it got going, but the broom had the advantage of agility, and James darted around, diving into the motorbike’s path and pulling away at the last second, then flying loop de loops around Sirius until they both felt dizzy. When they tired themselves out they landed and collapsed on the grass, laughing.

“Okay, hear me out,” Sirius said, sprawled out on his back with his legs stretched out in front of him and his arms resting behind his head. “Motorbike Quidditch. It’d be brilliant, right?”

James laughed and shielded his eyes against the bright afternoon sun. “It’d be a bloody disaster! Everyone would crash into each other. And imagine how angry you’d be if your motorbike got hit with a Bludger?”

“Well that’d be motivation to pay attention and fly well so I don’t get hit,” Sirius said with a shrug. 

“I suppose.” James fell silent for a minute, enjoying the moment of relaxation after their burst of activity over the past hour. The heat of the sun made him feel contented and lazy, and he almost let his eyes drift shut before something occurred to him and he sat up, frowning.

“Hey, do you think Evans said all that just to mess with me? Maybe she’s trying to get back at me for what I said about Snivellus before, or it’s just, I dunno, payback for all the times I annoyed her over the years?” He brushed grass from his hair and waited for Sirius to respond, biting his lip and running through the possibilities in his mind.

Sirius turned to look at James and laughed. “You think my motorbike Quidditch idea is ridiculous, and yet you come up with this rubbish?” He shook his head and pulled himself up to a seated position. “Evans is not involved in some elaborate plot to make you look like an idiot. No offense, but you do just fine with looking like an idiot on your own.” He stood and offered James a hand up. “Come on, let’s go inside and have a snack and play a game of Exploding Snap, and if you’re nice to me I’ll help you write a response to Evans that doesn’t make you sound like a complete prat.”

  
  
  



	12. She Was Talking to Her Mum about Me

_ Dear Potter, _

_ What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing - they fast. _

_ So weird experience, I got a bit tipsy with my mom last night. I guess this is what being an adult is like? I kept taking a sip and checking to make sure she wasn’t looking, which was absolutely stupid, seeing as she’s the one who offered it to me in the first place. We had a nice chat and somehow I ended up telling her about that time you saved my arse in Potions… _

“Hi, Mum. You’re home late.” Lily looked up from the letter she was rereading to greet her mother, then watched with raised eyebrows as she went to the cupboard and took out a box of chocolate biscuits before sitting down in the chair across from her daughter with a sigh. “Bad day?”

She opened the box and popped an entire biscuit into her mouth, then chewed and swallowed before replying. “The worst. Debbie called out sick, so I had to clean every room myself, and of course we’re at no vacancy right now.” She shook her head and reached for another biscuit. “That wouldn’t have been so bad, except I’m convinced this one couple set out to intentionally defile their room.” 

Lily wrinkled her nose. “That’s disgusting.” She paused for a moment, then leaned closer and selected a biscuit for herself. “What did they do, exactly?”  
Her mother shook her head. “God, what didn’t they do? I won’t go into detail, not while we’re eating, but it took me twice as long as it normally does to make their room fit for human habitation again.” She took another bite of biscuit and smiled wryly. “And I had to swap out the curtains.”

Lily nearly spit out her own biscuit. “Ugh! What’s wrong with these people?” 

“No idea, but they didn’t even leave a tip.”

“You’re joking!” Lily studied her mother for a moment, then stood and crossed the kitchen to the refrigerator. “You know, I think your day was too horrible to be solved by just biscuits. You’ve earned a drink.”

Her mother nodded. “You might be right. You may as well get one for yourself while you’re at it.” When Lily stood there staring at her in surprise, she shrugged. “You’re of age in your world. You could go to a wizarding pub and order a drink legally, so you may as well be able to have a beer in your own kitchen.” 

Lily pulled two beers from the refrigerator, then returned to her seat, placing one in front of her mother and opening her own. “Thanks, Mum.” She took a sip and savored the fizz of the cold liquid, feeling somehow more grown up than she had a moment ago. 

Her mother took a long pull from her own beer and heaved a contented sigh. “I mean, did you think I didn’t notice that half my bottle of tequila disappeared after that night Mary stayed over?”

“I suppose I was hoping you’d blame it on Dad,” Lily said, flashing her mother a sheepish smile. “I’ll replace it next time I go into London. If it’s any consolation, we had a great time that night.”  
“That’s all right, then,” her mother replied, taking another sip. “Mary seems happy. Are things better with her mum? I never like to ask and seem nosy, but I do worry about her.”

Lily twisted the tab of her beer around, considering this. “I wouldn’t say things are better with her mum, but now she has Sirius to take her mind off of it.”

“That’s the boy who dropped her off on the motorbike, the one she claims isn’t her boyfriend?”

Lily chuckled. “That’s the one. I don’t care what she says, I’m convinced she’s in love with him. And I think he’s good for her, even if he is a bit of a troublemaker sometimes.”

“Good for her,” her mother said before glancing over at Lily with a sly expression on her face. “And what about you?”

Lily frowned and took another sip of beer. “What about me?” She had a sneaking suspicion that she knew exactly what her mother meant, and her eyes darted to the letter on the table.

Her mother followed her gaze and raised her eyebrows. “What’s going on with your penpal? You seem to be exchanging quite a few letters.”  
Lily felt her cheeks flush, and she stood and went to fetch them two more beers to give herself time to formulate an appropriate response. “We’re friends,” she replied after setting the two replacement beers on the table and cracking hers open. “Friends write each other letters.”

Her mother nodded, a knowing smile on her face. “That’s true. But even being friends is a big step from last year, when you could barely mention his name without getting angry. What changed?”

Lily fiddled with the tab of her empty beer can, considering this. She could not point to one big turning point, but rather to a string of trivial events, unimportant on their own, but which ultimately led her to realize how fond she had become of James.

“I guess he did. He grew up a bit, but it took me a while to notice. And I guess I eventually noticed because I changed a little, too.” For some reason one memory in particular came to mind, and the relaxed warm feeling from the beer encouraged her to speak it aloud. “There was this one time I was having an awful day…”

_ Lily hurried down the corridor, her hair flying out behind her and her bag bumping against her as she took the stairs two at a time. She had spent lunch in the library, desperate to finish the homework she had intended to finish that morning until she overslept and had to throw on clothes and sprint to her first class without even taking the time to brush her hair. She had now missed two meals and her essay was still only half-finished, and for a moment she seriously considered skiving off Potions and returning to Gryffindor Tower to collapse onto her bed and catch up on the sleep she had missed doing prefect duty the previous night. The fleeting fantasy evaporated as she imagined the disappointed expression on Slughorn’s face when she didn’t turn up for class, the detention she would undoubtedly receive, the consequences that would come crashing down on her as soon as she woke up from her nap and returned to reality. Sighing, she pulled open the door of the Potions classroom and headed for her seat, hoping nobody would notice her tardiness. _

_ “You’re late, Miss Evans,” Slughorn murmured, approaching her table and leaning down to address her. “No, it’s all right,” he continued, holding up a hand when she began to explain, “I just wanted to collect your homework, since I already had the class turn it in.” _

_ She sighed. “I haven’t finished it.” _

_ A flicker of surprise crossed his face, but he replaced it with his usual jovial grin and gave her table a reassuring pat. “Not to worry, dear, just get it to me as soon as you can. If it’s up to your usual standard, I won’t even take points off for lateness.” He strolled away and she rubbed her temples in frustration before taking out her textbook and opening to the correct page. _

_ The day did not improve as the class wore on. Lily tried to focus on the potion Slughorn had asked them to brew, but her mind kept circling back to the incomplete essay in her bag. When she tried to put that out of her head, her thoughts drifted instead to an article she had read yesterday about the mysterious disappearance of a Muggle family. She had become so consumed by her thoughts that she only noticed she had made a mistake when her potion began to smoke. _

_ “Bloody hell,” she muttered, scanning the recipe to determine what she’d done wrong and scrambling to add the missing ingredient in hopes she could salvage her potion. _

_ “Evans,” a voice behind her hissed, and she turned to see James watching her, a look of concern on his face. “You all right?” _

_ She sighed, not wanting to deal with James Potter on top of everything else. “I’m fine, Potter, now leave me alone. I’m trying to fix my bloody potion.” _

_ “You added the armadillo bile too late,” he said. _

_ “Yes, I’ve gathered that, thanks,” she snapped, turning back to her potion and shaking her head. _

_ “It should still turn out okay,” he continued. “Acceptable-level, probably.” _

_ “Yes, I know that as well.” She stirred her potion, her heart sinking as she imagined Slughorn’s raised eyebrows and little “Oho!” of surprise when she turned in work that was not up to her usual standard. _

_ “But Acceptable isn’t okay with you, is it?” He grinned at her, taking her silence as agreement. “I, on the other hand, could give a fuck if Slughorn thinks my quality of work is slipping.” _

_ She frowned. “What are you saying, Potter?” _

_ He didn’t reply right away, but instead leaned closer to Sirius and began whispering and gesturing at Lily’s cauldron. After a minute he turned back to Lily, glancing up at Slughorn to be sure he wasn’t watching. “Stand back a bit, Evans,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wand. _

_ “What are you going to do?” she asked, but she followed instructions anyway, because she had witnessed enough pranks to know that when one of the Marauders told you to stand back, it was best to listen. A moment later her potion emitted a loud belching sound and began boiling over, drenching her table and textbook with thick brown liquid. She looked back at James and Sirius to find them pointing at it and laughing. In between peals of laughter, James winked and gave her a thumbs up before returning to clapping Sirius on the back. _

_ “Boys, what is going on?” Slughorn demanded, striding over and cleaning up Lily’s potion before the mess could spread any further.  _

_ James ran a hand through his hair and met Slughorn’s gaze. “Well, Sirius reckoned I couldn’t say the alphabet backwards in under 30 seconds, but I reckoned I could do it no problem, so he said if I could do it he’d give me a Sickle, but if I couldn’t he’d get to choose someone’s potion for me to sabotage, no questions asked. So I gave it a go, but it’s harder than I thought and I swapped ‘j’ and ‘g,’ so he pointed at Evans and said I had to sabotage her potion. So I did a heating charm and made it bubble over, and here we are.” He grinned and shot Lily an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Evans, I overestimated my abilities, if you can believe that.” _

_ Slughorn sighed. “Really, this is how you two choose to spend your time rather than focusing on the assignment?” _

_ “Oh, no, we’ve finished,” James said, gesturing at their cauldrons.  _

_ Slughorn peered into their cauldrons and nodded in satisfaction. “Very well. Both of you will lose five points for Gryffindor, and Mr. Potter, I’m afraid you’ll have to take a zero for the day.” He looked over at Lily and gave her a reassuring smile. “And Miss Evans, you’ll receive credit for Mr. Potter’s potion, since he ruined yours.” _

_ “But-” she protested, but he had already wandered over to check on someone else’s progress, muttering to himself about enormous wastes of time. _

_ “The alphabet backwards?” Sirius repeated, laughing. “That’s what you come up with?” _

_ “Shut up,” James shot back. “I froze, all right?”  _

_ Sirius shook his head. “You’re an idiot, mate.” _

_ Lily stared at the two of them, struggling to put her conflicting emotions into words. On one hand, their antics had made her furious. After all, she didn’t need James Potter to take pity on her because she was too distracted to properly brew a potion. On the other hand, it was the nicest thing anyone had done for her in ages.  _

_ “Thanks, Potter,” she said after a moment. “That was really… Well, thanks.” _

_ “Don’t mention it,” he said, flashing her that stupid grin before turning back to Sirius and singing, “Z y x, w v u…” _

When Lily finished recounting the memory she fell silent and turned her beer can around in her hand as she waited for her mother’s reaction.

“Wow,” her mother said, her eyes wide and her mouth drawn into a wide smile. “He took a zero for you like it was nothing. That boy sounds like a winner to me.” She took a biscuit from the box and took a bite, a thoughtful expression on her face as she chewed. “Although, I don’t know if you should date someone who can’t even say the alphabet backwards. I suppose that’s why you’re still just friends?”

Lily laughed and helped herself to a biscuit. “You’re right, that’s exactly why.” She shook her head and glanced up at the clock. “You reckon we should make dinner, or will beer and biscuits do just fine?”

As they debated the pros and cons of making cheese toasties or ordering takeaway, Lily’s mind returned over and over to the expression on James’s face and the tone of his voice as he had asked, “You all right?” It stayed with her for the rest of the night, and she could not say for sure whether it was the memory or the soothing effects of the alcohol, but she found herself smiling for no particular reason.

_ Dear Evans, _

_ What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to be smoking. _

_ Well done drinking with your mum. You’re right, that is how you know when you’re a true adult. What prompted you to tell her that story? I hope she didn’t think any less of me because I couldn’t manage to say the alphabet backwards. I had an interesting chat with my mum tonight as well. For some reason I remembered this time you stuck up for Remus. You probably don’t even remember it, but it’s always stuck with me, because it’s exactly what I would have done… _

Familiar piano chords greeted James as he sat down at the kitchen table across from his mother, and he looked over at her, bemused. 

“Are you listening to David Bowie?”

She glanced up from her crossword, only just realizing he had joined her. “What? Oh, yes. Sirius introduced me to him. He’s very good, isn’t he?”

James chuckled and nodded, then nodded at the newspaper. “How’s the crossword going?”

She shrugged. “Not bad. I’m stuck, but I don’t want to ask for help because then it’s not as satisfying. What are you up to?”

He stood and went to the cupboard where they usually kept snacks. “Nothing much. Might write a letter later.” He pulled his head out of the cupboard and turned to face her. “Are we out of crisps again?”

She frowned. “We had a bag, but Sirius was here yesterday, so I’d guess they’re either completely gone, or lying open on the floor of his room, completely stale.”

“Damnit, Padfoot,” James muttered, contenting himself with a box of Bertie Botts and returning to his chair. 

“What’s he doing tonight?” Euphemia asked, reaching over and tipping some of the Bertie Botts into her hand. “He was a bit vague when I asked him. Does that mean he’s with this mysterious girl he’s been seeing?”

James grinned. “Most likely.”

She nodded and chewed a Bertie Botts. “So what’s their story? Are they dating?”

“He claims they’re not. Says they’re just friends.” He hesitated, unable to utter the words ‘friends who shag’ in front of his mother. “Friends who spend a lot of time with each other,” he finished, smirking.

“Hmmm.” She mulled this over, eying the two remaining Bertie Botts in her hand and deciding on the brown one. “What do you think of her?”

“She’s great. I think she really  _ gets  _ Sirius, know what I mean? And she’s best friends with Evans, which, you know, I don’t hate.” He tried to keep his expression casual as he fiddled with the box of Bertie Botts and thought about the letter from Lily tucked into his pocket. She had told her mother a story about him, and he couldn’t help but jump to conclusions about what this might mean.

His mother flashed him a knowing smile and popped the other Bertie Botts into her mouth, then grimaced. “Damn, I thought it was watermelon, but it’s grass.”

James laughed. “Lily loves the grass ones, isn’t that weird?” He hesitated for a moment, then plowed on, “She was talking to her mum about me. Told her a story about this time I helped her out.” He bit his lip. “That’s gotta be good, right?”

She nodded. “I’d say so.” She fell silent again, watching the fading afternoon light streaming in through the windows, and the peaceful quiet encouraged James to continue.

“I dunno what made her think of that story, but it made me think of this other time she did something similar, except it was to help out Remus, not me, and it was way earlier, sometime during fifth year…”

_ “Moony, did you see Professor O’Brien’s face when you got that spell on your first try?” James asked, clapping Remus on the back as they gathered their things at the end of the Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.  _

_ Remus shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leading the way out the door. “It wasn’t anything amazing. You and Padfoot both did it after only a couple of tries.”  _

_ “Don’t sell yourself short, Moony!” Sirius urged, following Remus into the corridor. “O’Brien was bloody impressed.” _

_ “Yeah, you should talk yourself up once in a while,” Peter agreed. “It took me until the end of class to get the hang of that spell.” _

_ “At least you got it in the end, Wormtail,” James said, raising his voice so he would be overheard. “Did you hear O’Brien telling Aubrey to practice for homework?” He glanced across the corridor at Bertram Aubrey and smirked. “How embarrassing. You missed last class, Moony, and still managed to master the spell before he could even get the incantation right.” _

_ Aubrey’s face darkened. “Mind your own business, Potter. Not all of us get special treatment - missing class, and getting to turn in homework late without any consequences.” He shot Remus a withering look. “I expect the professors just feel sorry for you because of whatever’s wrong with you.” His gaze lingered on Remus’s scars. _

_ “Oi! That was unfuckingcalled-for!” Sirius shouted, and he and James both drew their wands, but before either of them had time to act, there was a flash of light and a shout of alarm from Aubrey. Lily stood in front of him with her wand raised, green eyes blazing and a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she watched Aubrey’s toenails burst through his shoes and shoot across the floor as they continued to grow. _

_ “What did you do that for?” he demanded, trying in vain to restrict the rampant growth of his toenails. “I wasn’t even talking about you!” _

_ “Nice one, Evans!” James exclaimed, but she ignored him. _

_ “Just because you’re likely going to fail the Defense O.W.L. does not give you an excuse to be a complete arsehole, Aubrey,” she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him. “And minimizing someone else’s talent to make yourself feel better just makes you look pathetic.” _

_ “What’s going on here?” Professor O’Brien appeared in the doorway of her classroom, alerted to trouble by the sound of angry, raised voices in the corridor. She noted Aubrey’s toenails with alarm and hastily stepped aside as they stretched past her feet through the doorway and into the classroom.  _

_ “Please, Professor, Evans hexed me,” Aubrey said. He gazed down in horror at his toenails, which now extended at least ten feet.  _

_ “Miss Evans?” Professor O’Brien raised her eyebrows at Lily in surprise. “Is this true? Explain yourself.” _

_ Lily glanced at Remus, who had turned red and was staring at the ground, then looked back at the Defense professor and shrugged. “Sorry, Professor,” she said, muttering the countercurse that caused Aubrey’s toenails to retract back into his body. “I just lost my temper, I suppose.” _

_ James gazed at Lily in unabashed admiration while she accepted her assigned detention without a single protest, and Remus smiled gratefully at her as they all headed to the next class. “Thanks,” he said, his voice quiet. _

_ She returned his smile. “You’re welcome. What a load of rubbish.” She shook her head in disgust. “He’s just jealous that you do better than him in class.” _

_ Remus fell silent, still smiling, and Sirius and Peter chatted amongst themselves about what had just occurred, but James continued to gape at Lily as they proceeded down the corridor and up a staircase.  _

_ “Evans, that was really impressive,” he finally burst out, after spending the entire trek up two floors deciding what to say. _

_ She sighed. “Thanks, Potter, but I didn’t do it to impress you.” _

_ “I know,” he persisted. “You did it to stand up for Remus, which is why I’m so impressed, because it’s exactly what I would’ve done if you hadn’t acted faster.” He frowned. “Except I wouldn’t have done that hex because I’ve never seen it before. Where’d you learn that? And can you teach me? Because it’s bloody brilliant.”  _

_ She smiled and shook her head. “I’m not teaching you more hexes to use on innocent, unsuspecting students.” _

_ “Oh, come on, I won’t use it on innocent students, just the ones that deserve it.” He hesitated, then ran a hand through his hair and grinned. “How about you go into Hogsmeade with me and you can teach me that toenail hex and I’ll show you a few of my own?” _

_ “Merlin, Potter, I hex Bertram Aubrey and that somehow makes you think I’ll agree to go out with you?” She rolled her eyes and strode ahead of him, shaking her head and muttering something that sounded like “arrogant prat.” _

“I love her already,” Euphemia said once James had finished his story. “Even if she does call my son an arrogant prat on a regular basis.”

James shrugged. “It’s more of a term of endearment than an actual insult at this point.”

“You know, this is going to sound very sappy, but one of the things I love most about you is how you always stand up for the people you care about.” She glanced sideways at him and smiled, and he rolled his eyes but nodded. “And it sounds like that’s what you love about Lily.”

He mulled this over for a moment, then nodded.

“Then I think you’ll be a good match, once she decides to give you a chance, arrogant prat or not,” she continued, and James looked up at her and grinned in spite of himself. “And hopefully when she does, she’ll teach you that toenail hex so you can show me, because I’d love to use that on your father. Now take a look at this bean and tell me what you think. Is it chocolate, or something much worse?”

  
  



	13. There's No School in My Pool

_Dear Potter,_

_Why did the strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam._

_I feel a bit silly writing to you when I’m going to see you later today for Mary’s birthday, but I woke up early so I decided to write you a letter. I’m excited for our evening of drunken shenanigans. It’ll be really great to finally see you (and everyone else, obviously), and I’m hoping we go somewhere with a pool table so you can show off your excellent skills and teach me. I also hope tonight involves some dancing, because you are possibly the only person I know who has dance moves as awful as mine, so I know you won’t judge me._

_I can’t believe the summer is almost over. In some ways it’s dragged, but mostly I feel like it’s flown by. It’s crazy to me that this is the last time we’ll have summer homework and go to Diagon Alley to get everything on the school supply list and take the Hogwarts Express on September 1st. I suppose this time next year we'll be doing exciting, adult things and it’ll be brilliant, but right now it all seems so unknown and terrifying. I suppose all we can do is make the most of our final year and have as much fun as we possibly can…_

“Moony, what are you doing? Come in here so I can tell you all about my bloody brilliant evening!” James stood in the parlor, leaning against the back of an armchair while Peter sat on the sofa across from him, waiting for him to begin his tale.

“Merlin, Prongs,” Remus muttered, entering the room and taking a seat next to Peter. “I was talking to your parents. I’m not going to just barge into your house and walk past them without saying hello, that’s rude!”

“All right, fine,” James said, impatient to begin his story. “So, anyway, last night at the pub while you lot were off having adventures, Evans and I had a bloody amazing time.” His voice took on a dreamy quality and an expression of bliss crept over his face as he recounted the events of the evening. “We danced and it was brilliant-”

“I’m not sure describing your dance moves as brilliant is accurate,” Peter cut in, then clapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, that was a bit mean, wasn’t it?”

James grinned. “Nah, it’s fair, but Evans is just as bad as I am, so I think we cancel each other out so combined our dancing is actually pretty good.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Remus said, frowning, but James waved his protests away.

“Anyway, then we went to the bar and she bought me a tequila shot, which was also brilliant, and then we had sort of a heart to heart.” He ran a hand through his hair, smiling that earnest, genuine smile that was stripped of his usual self-assurance. “It was all about how I’ve grown up a bit since she shouted at me at the end of last year, and it was honestly so good to hear that she actually noticed, you know?” He perched on the arm of the chair, still grinning. “And then I taught her to play pool, which was equally brilliant, and then we ended up dancing again, and then somehow she ended up on stage singing with the band - wait, did I tell you that bit already? Anyway, afterwards I was sort of making fun of her dance moves, and she grabbed my hand to stop me, but then she didn’t let go and we were fucking holding hands and it was amazing and then I swear to Merlin we were about to kiss, I’m talking seconds away, except Padfoot ran in and interrupted and I never got the chance to shout at him for that, so remind me when he gets here, yeah?” He sat down in the chair, gathering his thoughts after letting all of his words tumble out in one breath.

“You had an almost moment,” Remus observed. 

“Like that time at your birthday party, when you and Evans were hiding from Filch in the broom cupboard,” Peter added.

“Yes! Exactly!” James sprang to his feet and began pacing around the room. “We had an almost moment! Thank you for knowing exactly what I’m talking about. You’re both great friends, and if I ever make fun of you again, tell me off.” He grinned at them, then continued speaking before either of them had time to reply. “But that wasn’t our only almost moment of the night. After we went back to Padfoot’s and everyone went to bed, Evans and I stayed up and talked for a while, which was excellent. She even tucked that Chudley Cannons blanket over us, and I didn’t even care that it had the stupid Cannons logo because Lily fucking Evans and I were sharing a blanket. And then somehow we were holding hands again and I know it sounds stupid but we really were about to kiss except she had to run to the bathroom and puke.” He stopped pacing and sat down in the armchair, then held up a hand. “And before either of you say it, the thought of kissing me didn’t make her puke, it was the irresponsible amount of tequila and whiskey she drank.”

“We weren’t going to say that, Prongs,” Peter said, but Remus smirked.

“I probably would’ve,” he admitted.

“Appreciate the honesty, Moony,” James said, grinning. “Anyway, I ended up holding her hair and rubbing her back while she puked, which was actually a lot nicer than it sounds. And then I let her borrow some of my clothes to sleep in, and I dunno why but seeing her in my clothes was really bloody sexy. Is that weird?” He frowned but continued speaking before they could reply. “And she asked me to rub her back until she fell asleep and I know it’s not the most exciting end to the night but it was really sweet and it was honestly one of the best nights of my life.” He leaned his head back against the chair and sighed, then straightened and raised his eyebrows. “You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”

“Of course not,” Peter said, standing and clapping James on the back bracingly. 

Remus grinned. “We’ve seen you make an absolute fool out of yourself in front of the entire school for Evans on multiple occasions. If we were going to think you’re pathetic, which we don’t, we would’ve formed that opinion long ago.” 

James frowned and stood, resuming his path around the room. “But what if I’m thinking way too much into all of this? What if I was just drunk and thought it was way more than it was? Or what if she only did all that because she was drunk and now she regrets it today?” He ran a hand through his hair and stopped mid-stride, his face stricken. “What if she decides not to come over today? I shouldn’t have invited her. That was too much, wasn’t it?”

“You’re overthinking this,” Peter said.

“It’s Prongs, that’s what he does,” Remus pointed out.  
“True,” Peter said, grinning. “But from what I could tell - what I was awake for, I mean - Evans seemed like she was having a really good time with you. And she seemed excited to come today. Don’t you think, Moony?”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Remus said, nodding. “Today’s going to be great. Just try to stay calm and enjoy yourself, like you did last night.” He thought for a moment, then smirked. “And try not to be too obvious when you stare at her in her bathing suit.”

“Bloody hell, why’d you have to say that? Now it’s all I’m going to be thinking about!” James leaned against the back of the armchair and sighed. 

“But to be fair, I feel like it’s all you’d be thinking about anyway,” Peter said with a shrug. 

Before James could reply, their attention was diverted by the sound of Sirius’s motorbike outside. A minute later Sirius and Mary entered the room, their hair windswept after the journey from London. Sirius took the spot between Remus and Peter, and Mary sat down in the armchair James had abandoned. 

“What’ve you done to Prongs?” Sirius asked, taking in the look of panicked embarrassment on James’s face. 

“Mentioned Evans in a bathing suit,” Remus said, shrugging. 

“Ooh.” Mary raised her eyebrows and glanced over her shoulder at James. “Are you going to be able to handle it, Potter?”

“Of course he will.” Sirius stretched his feet out and rested them on the coffee table. “He’s had years of sexual frustration to toughen him up.”

“That’s true,” Mary said, twirling a curl around her finger as she thought. “But it’s probably the first time he’ll see her with barely any clothes on. Might be a bit _hard_.”

Sirius smirked and gave Mary an appreciative nod. “You’ll be fine, Prongs, just think about non-sexual things. Don’t run Quidditch plays in your head, though, ‘cause you get that glazed look.” He did a less-than-flattering imitation of the expression; it elicited chuckles from Peter, Remus, and Mary and a glare from James. “It’s not what I’d call attractive.”

“You’re both arseholes,” James muttered, scowling at Mary and Sirius.

“Sorry,” Mary said, although she did not sound remotely sorry. “I’m still a bit hungover, but this helps.”

“It’s just so easy,” Sirius added.

James raised his eyebrows, then crossed his arms and shouted over his shoulder,“Mum! Dad! Come and meet Sirius’s lady friend.”  
Remus and Peter glanced at each other and grinned, and Mary didn’t react at all, but Sirius’s eyes widened and he slouched even further down in his seat.

“Fucking rude, Prongs,” he said, keeping his voice low. “I mean, I suppose we deserved that, but it’s still rude.”

“What, you think they wouldn’t notice all day that you’ve brought a girl over?” James shot back.

“Well, obviously, but you didn’t have to shout and bring attention to it.”

“Are you embarrassed to have me here?” Mary asked, amused by Sirius’s obvious discomfort. “I can leave. I suppose I’ll walk to the main road and try to hitch a ride…” She made to stand but Sirius gestured for her to sit down.

“Don’t be stupid, Macdonald, I’m not embarrassed, I just hate when they make a fuss.” He looked as if he would like to say more, but at that moment Fleamont and Euphemia strode into the room, smiling and casting curious gazes at Mary.

“Hi!” Euphemia squealed. “You must be Mary.”

Mary rose, intending to shake her hand, but Euphemia pulled her into a hug instead.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Fleamont said, shaking Mary’s hand once Euphemia released her.

“We had to practically interrogate Sirius to get him to even tell us your name,” Euphemia said, shooting Sirius a reproving look. “So secretive.”

“He’s a bit like that,” Mary agreed, glancing sideways at Sirius and grinning. “It’s really nice to meet you. I’ve been wanting to tell you, Mr. Potter, I’m a big fan of Sleekeazy’s. That stuff is a lifesaver.” She gestured at her curly hair.

“I’m glad you like it,” he replied. “It was just a little idea I had. I wasn’t sure if anything would come of it, but people seem to go mad for it, don’t they?”

“You should see her hair when she runs out,” Sirius said, smirking at Mary. “It’s a bloody disaster.”  
Mary stuck her tongue out at him and continued to address the Potters. “I’m also a big fan of that photo he has hanging in his flat of you four in your matching Christmas sweaters.”

“Isn’t that a great photo?” Fleamont said, nodding at Sirius. “We had to practically force that sweater over his head, but we look so festive, don’t we?”

“Don’t let Sirius fool you,” Euphemia added, leaning in to Mary conspiratorially. “He’ll never admit it, but he loves that sweater.”  
“That’s not true,” Sirius protested, scowling, but Euphemia ignored him.

“Anyway, we’re glad you’re here, love. Sirius has never brought a girlfriend home before.”

“We’re not dating,” Sirius and Mary said at once.

Euphemia and Fleamont exchanged sly smiles. “Of course you’re not,” Euphemia said.

Fleamont held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Our mistake.”

Sirius did not like the knowing expressions that lingered on their faces that reminded him strongly of the look James often gave him, so he looked over at his friend and chimed in, “You know, Evans is coming over today as well.”

Fleamont and Euphemia raised their eyebrows and looked at James. “Is she?” Euphemia asked. “Why didn’t you mention it?”

“Probably because he didn’t want us to make a fuss or embarrass him,” Fleamont replied, grinning. “Which of course we would never dream of doing.”

“Do you think she’d like to see some baby pictures?” Euphemia asked. “There’s that one of you in the bathtub, where you splash water everywhere and then moon the camera?”

“I thought you said you were going to show her baby pictures,” Sirius said, frowning. “That one’s from last year.”

James rolled his eyes. “You’re hilarious, Pads.”

“I thought it was amusing,” Remus said, shrugging.

“Actually, no, you know which one you should show her?” Sirius continued. “That one where he’s riding a broom around the house wearing nothing but-”

“Did you know Sirius and Mary got matching tattoos?” James cut in, raising his voice to drown out Sirius.

“They’re not exactly matching-” Mary began, but Sirius glared at James and spoke over her.

“You know, I wish I’d brought that poem you wrote for Evans that night we worked on my motorbike. You must remember part of it, Prongs, how did it go?”

“Speaking of which, did you know Sirius crashed his motorbike?” James said, crossing his arms and shooting Sirius a defiant look.

Euphemia and Fleamont both gasped. “What do you mean you crashed your motorbike?” Euphemia demanded. “Are you all right?”

“Obviously he’s all right, Euphemia, look at him,” Fleamont said impatiently. “But why did you think you could just casually not mention this to us?”  
Sirius sighed. “I’m fine, for Merlin’s sake.” He looked over at James in indignation. “What the fuck, Prongs? You specifically said you weren’t going to tell Mum and Dad.”

James shrugged. “Yeah, well, you were bringing up loads of embarrassing shit about me, and basically nothing embarrasses you, so I had to get a bit creative.”

Sirius locked eyes with James, as if challenging him to back down, but he continued to stare back stubbornly. “Well, if we’re revealing secrets, someone should tell Evans about the photo of her you have taped up in your Quidditch locker that you kiss before every match for good luck.” He crossed his arms and smirked at James. 

“Well, Sirius steals Dad’s firewhisky!” James replied.

“We both do that,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “Besides, that’s hardly a secret. What else you got, Prongs?”

James glared at him, eyes wide in fury, but he couldn’t seem to come up with any suitable retorts, so he settled on, “You’re a prat.”

Sirius grinned. “Yes I am, and yet somehow I’m still the favorite child.” He stood and offered Mary a hand up. “Come on, I’m going out for a smoke and I don’t trust them not to interrogate you while I’m gone.” Mary rose and followed him out the door, chuckling.

After Sirius and Mary had left the room, everyone sat in silence for a moment before Remus and Peter glanced at each other and burst into laughter. 

“Sorry,” Remus gasped, “I just love when you and Padfoot have a go at each other.”

“Hilarious,” Peter added, trying and failing to stifle his laughter.

James made no audible reply, but muttered darkly under his breath.

“Oh, relax, James, we’re not actually going to show her embarrassing photos of you,” Euphemia assured him as she sat down in the empty love seat next to the sofa where Peter and Remus were sitting.

Fleamont sat down next to her and adjusted his glasses. “No, we’ll wait and show her those when you bring her home for Christmas.”

“The best part about being a parent is getting to embarrass your kids,” Euphemia said, looking at James with obvious affection. “And we don’t get much opportunity because you’re away at school most of the year, so we have to take any chance we can get.”

“I’d say you’ve earned that privilege, Mrs. Potter,” Remus said. “Putting up with James and Sirius and all the trouble they cause? Embarrass all you like. It seems perfectly fair to me.”

“‘All the trouble we cause,’” James repeated, raising his eyebrows. “What, like you aren’t right there with us for most of it?”

“Me? Never!” Remus put on an air of innocence.

“I can’t imagine Remus getting into trouble,” Euphemia said. “He looks so innocent. And didn’t they make him a prefect?”

Remus grinned. “Yeah, with the misguided hope that I’d be able to get my friends to follow the rules.”

“It’s been wildly unsuccessful,” James said, running a hand through his hair and sitting down between Remus and Peter. 

“Sometimes he’s nice enough to confiscate stuff from younger students and give it to us,” Peter said, looking over at Remus. “We barely had to buy Dungbombs last year.”

A mischievous smile crept over Remus’s face but he remained silent.

“Look who we found outside,” Sirius said, striding into the room with Mary and Lily following in his wake. 

“Hello,” Lily said, leaning against the back of the vacant armchair and flashing a shy smile at Fleamont and Euphemia. 

There was an expectant silence, but when James failed to introduce her and merely sat there grinning in that idiotic manner of his, Sirius shrugged and said, “Mum, Dad, this is Lily Agatha Evans. I’m sure James has mentioned her once or twice? She’s top of our class at Potions and Charms and is 100% going to be Head Girl, and she’s surprisingly awful at dancing.”

“I don’t know about all that,” Lily began, but nobody seemed to be listening.

“It’s so lovely to finally meet you, Lily,” Euphemia said, jumping up and hurrying to embrace her. “We’ve heard so much about you.”

Lily blushed. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Potter. I hope you haven’t heard anything too horrible.”

“What, like how you called our son an arrogant toerag on a regular basis?” Fleamont said, grinning and getting to his feet to shake her hand. 

Lily blushed even more, but Fleamont waved away her spluttered apologies. “Don’t be silly, I’m sure he deserved it.”

“It’s good for him to be told off once in a while, I think. We were always much too soft on him,” Euphemia added. “We just can’t help it. Look at that face.”

This comment seemed to snap James out of his daze, because he widened his grin and ran a hand through his hair. “You just can’t be mad at this face, can you, Evans?”

She rolled her eyes and ignored him. “Your house is lovely.” Her eyes traveled around the room, lingering on the polished wood and antique furniture that together with the many framed photographs of James and Sirius and the abandoned Quaffle lying under the sofa gave the impression of cozy, lived-in elegance. One photograph in particular caught her eye, and she picked it up to get a closer look at the tiny boy with untidy black hair, clad in a Quidditch uniform and smiling while sitting atop a broomstick.

“Thank you,” Fleamont replied before turning to James. “Maybe my son would be kind enough to give you a tour. You might like our library. There are a few excellent potions books in there, if you care for that sort of thing, which I hear you do.”

James sprang from his seat, eager to have a task. “Would you like to see my house, Evans?”

She nodded. “Yes, please.”

The rest of the group headed out to the pool while Lily followed James out of the room and down a hallway lined with a plush oriental rug. As they stopped in various rooms he observed Lily, enjoying the wonder and admiration that lit up her face. Seeing her here, in his house, examining portraits of his grandparents and peering into the rooms he had inhabited for his entire life gave him a sense of unreality. He had imagined her here so often that to actually see her here now felt somehow strange and incredible, as if she might disappear if he looked away for a moment too long.

“I can’t believe you have a library in your house and you don’t spend every moment in here,” Lily exclaimed, scanning the books on the built-in shelves with an expression of pure joy on her face. Her eyes fell on a particular title and widened in amazement and she pulled the cloth-bound volume from the shelf and traced the title lovingly. “I can’t believe you own this book. The Hogwarts library doesn’t even have a copy!” She began to page through the book, taking care not to bend or tear the delicate pages.

“Is that because you checked it out and never returned it?” James grinned at her, but she was still engrossed by the book and did not look up. He took a step closer and rested a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. “Evans, would you like to borrow that book?”

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, wide with disbelief. “Are you joking? I couldn’t do that. This book has to be worth-”

“A bloody stupid amount?” James interrupted. “I’m sure it is. But my dad won’t mind. He’ll just be happy to see someone else reading it. Besides, I know you’ll take good care of it. Just don’t bring it out by the pool, because I can’t promise you won’t get splashed at some point today.”

She shut the book and studied its cover for a moment, then threw her arms around James in a sudden burst of grateful affection. He could feel the spine of the book pressing into his back but he didn’t mind because bloody hell, Lily Evans was hugging him. The scent of her shampoo met his nostrils as tendrils of her hair tickled his chin and he wrapped his arms around her, afraid to pull her too close yet longing to press her against him, self-restraint be damned. Before the warring sides of his brain could come to a decision she released him and took a step back, smiling down at the book in her hand and blushing.

“Thanks, Potter,” she said, still gazing down at the potions book. Her voice was soft and she sounded slightly breathless.

“It’s just a book, Evans,” James murmured. He could still feel the warmth of her arms around him and the light brush of her hair against his face. Would every interaction with her be this tantalizing, so enjoyable yet so inadequate and brief, until he finally died from sheer frustration?

“Well, thanks all the same.” She lifted her face to meet his gaze and took a breath, and James knew enough not to trust his own judgement in the aftermath of a hug from Lily, but he thought he detected a flustered quality to her breathing and the way she fiddled with the book in her hands. “Do you, er, want to show me your bedroom?”

His eyes widened, and she clapped a hand over her mouth and giggled. “I didn’t mean - I just, I’d like to see your room, that’s all. To see if it’s how I pictured it. Not that I’ve been picturing it, I just…” 

James grinned. “I’d be happy to show you my room, Evans.” He strode out of the library and towards the wide staircase that led to his bedroom, trying not to dwell on the thought of Lily imagining what his bedroom looked like. As they ascended the stairs he glanced back at her over his shoulder, noting the flush in her cheeks before he missed a step and had to grab onto the railing to keep from toppling over. When they reached his bedroom door he had a wild moment of panic ( _What if I left a pair of dirty pants on the floor? What if Sirius somehow enlarged one of the bloody baby photos and hung it on the wall?)_ but he pulled open the door to find it had been left neat and tidy by the house elves. Lily followed him through the door and walked around the room, stopping to study the Quidditch posters and photos hung on his wall and bending down to admire the signed Quaffle in a glass display case on his dresser. She picked up a framed photograph of the Marauders that rested on his bedside table, then set it back down again and sat on the edge of his bed.

“It’s just as I imagined it,” she said, her hand resting on his duvet as she took in the scattered books, chocolate wrappers, and Quidditch magazines on his coffee table. “Except there’s one thing missing.”

“What’s that?” James tried to concentrate on her question, but he still couldn’t quite believe she was actually here, sitting on his bed like a scene from one of his daydreams. 

“Where is the heart-shaped collage of photos of me?” she asked, grinning and gesturing around at the walls. 

“I took it down so you wouldn’t think I’m a freak.” He sat down next to her and ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s a bit too late for that.” She slipped off her flip flops and scooted around until she was stretched out on the bed with her head resting against the pillows. James watched her for a moment, unable to grasp what he was seeing. Lily Evans was lying in his bed, with her red hair spread out on his pillows and spilling over onto the duvet, sprawled out in the same spot where had spent countless hours staring at the ceiling or tossing a Quaffle or fantasizing about what it would be like to experience the exact scene unfolding before his eyes.

“Potter, you’re staring at me.”

James blinked, realizing he had in fact been staring. “Sorry, it’s just…” He shrugged. “I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom. It’s strange, seeing you lying on my bed like that.” He hopped down and grabbed a Quaffle from the armchair, then returned to the bed and handed it to her. “Here, toss this in the air a couple times.”

She gave him a quizzical look but followed his instructions. He chuckled as he watched her throw the Quaffle into the air and catch it several times before she threw it too hard and it bounced off the ceiling and landed over by the sofa.

“Sorry,” she said, turning to him with a sheepish smile on her face. “I’m not as skilled as you are.” She pushed herself up to a seated position and swung her legs around to sit next to him. “That’s how you do your best thinking, isn’t it?”

“What, tossing a Quaffle at the ceiling?” He grinned. “Pretty much, yeah. I can’t think too hard if I use a Snitch, there’s too much reacting and I lose my train of thought, but tossing a Quaffle is kind of mindless. It gives me something to do with my hands so my brain can focus on whatever it is I’m trying to work through.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “Like trying to figure out why the cute redheaded girl is somehow immune to your Quidditch star charm?”

He grinned. “Oh, I stopped trying to figure that out ages ago. One of life’s big mysteries that will never be solved. It’d be easier to try to figure out how to get around the exceptions to Gamp’s laws, or what a Boggart looks like by itself, or how to get Remus to give up chocolate and jumpers for the rest of his life.”

She glanced over at him and shrugged. “Some mysteries aren’t worth trying to solve, I suppose.” They sat in silence for a moment, both intensely aware of the scant inches that separated them. Lily’s hand rested on the side of her knee, almost begging James to reach out and take it, but before he could she had snatched it away to brush a strand of hair out of her face.

“I’m really sorry about last night, by the way,” she said, staring down at her lap and tugging at a stray thread on the duvet. “I can’t believe I was such a mess. It’s so embarrassing.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He slid off the bed and retrieved the Quaffle from the floor, then tossed it to her before sitting back down next to her. “Here, play with this instead, because you’re about to tear a hole in my duvet.”

She smiled and spun the Quaffle in her hands. “Thanks.”

“Anyway, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, and I didn’t mind at all. In fact, it was an honor to hold your hair back for you, and you should feel free to call on me to perform that task anytime you need me to.”

She shook her head and grimaced. “That won’t be necessary because I am never drinking that much again.”

James laughed. “That seems unlikely if you keep hanging around with us.”

“Yeah, fair point.” She set the Quaffle down next to her and turned to face him. “But honestly, I’m sure rubbing my back until I fell into a drunken stupor wasn’t the way you wanted to end your night.”

He shrugged. “I can think of worse ways to end an evening.” 

“Well, thanks. It was, well, it was really sweet.” An amused expression crept over her face as she gazed at him. “How is it that you can be the most obnoxious prat in the entire world, but also incredibly sweet?”

He grinned and ran a hand through his hair. “I dunno, it just comes naturally.” 

She shook her head and laughed softly. “Always so modest, Potter.” They sat there smiling at each other, a charged silence hanging between them. James edged his hand closer to hers, bridging the inches that felt like miles, but a shriek of laughter and a loud splash reached their ears from the open window and burst the moment like a punctured balloon. 

“I suppose we should go down and join them, shouldn’t we?” Lily said, hopping down from the bed and sliding on her flip flops.

“Probably, otherwise they’ll start making suggestive comments about what we’ve been up to.” He glanced at her and looked away, hoping she wouldn’t notice the note of pleasure in his voice at the idea of their friends thinking they had been up to anything scandalous.

“I’m sure they already are.” She led the way out of the room and he followed, smiling in amused exasperation at his astounding propensity for missed opportunities.

When they reached the pool they found Sirius and Peter engaged in a cannonball contest while Mary lounged on a gigantic float at the other end of the pool. Remus sat in the shade next to the pool house, absorbed in a book.

“You can change in there if you like,” James said, gesturing at the pool house. “There’s a loo and everything.”

“That’s all right.” Lily pulled her t-shirt over her head and wriggled out of her shorts to reveal a green two-piece bathing suit. James noticed the swimsuit was printed all over with tiny pink flowers before he realized he was staring and tore his gaze away, yanking his shirt over his head to hide his flushed cheeks.

“Where have you two been?” Sirius called, pulling himself up out of the pool and hurrying over to join them. “You’ve been ages.”

“He was just showing me his library-” Lily began.

“Ooh, is that what they’re calling it these days?” Sirius elbowed James and smirked.

“And then I wanted to see his room,” Lily continued, rolling her eyes at Sirius. 

“And?” Sirius asked, pushing his sopping hair out of his face.

“And it looks exactly like I thought it would.” She adjusted the strap of her top and strolled over to the pool to dip her toe in the water.

“Except she was disappointed there wasn’t a heart-shaped I Love Lily Evans photo collage,” James said, following her and sitting down on the edge of the pool with his legs dangling in the water.

“Yeah, well, did you tell her you begged me to hide it in my room for the day?” Sirius asked, coming up behind them. 

Lily laughed. “No, Potter, how come you forgot to mention that?” She turned to James to flash him a teasing smile, and her eyes were drawn to the image of a golden Snitch on his bicep. “Hey, I was right about your tattoo! I knew you didn’t have Sirius Black tattooed on your left arse cheek.”

“First of all, it was the right, and second, how do you know I don’t have that in addition to this one?” James asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

“Prove it,” Sirius said, but James shoved him gently and shook his head.

“Anyway, look what it can do,” he continued, flexing his bicep and making the Snitch zoom around.

“It’s perfect,” Lily said. She watched entranced, as the Snitch flitted around his arm before settling back to its original spot. “It’s very James Potter.”

He nodded. “I thought so too. I was going to get a Quaffle, but they’re not as pretty as Snitches, are they?” He traced the Snitch’s delicate wings and shrugged. “Who knows, maybe I’ll get an entire Quidditch sleeve someday, although I’m not sure I could pull it off.”

Lily considered this, trying to picture James with an arm full of tattoos, but before she could formulate a response Sirius interrupted her thoughts.

“To answer your question, Prongs, I’m not sure you could pull off a full sleeve, but maybe a half sleeve? Anyway, complete subject change, and Evans, this is probably a stupid question, but are you the sort of girl who gets angry if someone pushes you in the pool?”

She took several steps away from the pool and glared at him. “Sirius Black, don’t you dare.”

He nodded. “That answers my question.” He laughed and held up a hand. “Relax, I’m not going to do it now, but it is definitely happening at some point. You don’t come to a pool day with the four of us and not get thrown in the pool, Evans, come on now.”

She crossed her arms. “I’ll just stay far away from you, then.”

“Oh, it might not even be me. Could be James, could be Peter, could even be Remus.”

She laughed. “Remus wouldn’t throw me in the pool.” She looked over at Remus, still stretched out in a plastic lounge chair enjoying his book. “He’s too nice.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Don’t be too sure. Sometimes he surprises you. I wouldn’t turn your back on him, Evans.” He got a running start and dove into the pool, splattering them both with water.

“You coming in?” James asked. “It’s not cold. It’s charmed to stay at, er, I dunno the exact temperature, actually, but my dad could tell you. He’s very particular about it. Says he hates jumping into the water and freezing his gobstones off.”  
“I can definitely imagine him saying that,” Lily said, chuckling. “I’ll come in eventually, but I have to warm up first.” She left him to attempt to beat Sirius’s splash and wandered over to take the empty chair next to Remus. 

“What, you didn’t fancy being splashed or dragged into the pool?” he asked, looking up from his book and grinning.

She sat down and folded her arms behind her head. “Not particularly.” She gestured at the t-shirt he still wore, although everyone else wore only bathing suits. “Do you burn easily too?”

He looked puzzled for a moment, then nodded. “Er, yeah, I do, actually. Sirius loves giving me shit about it - he says I hide inside all summer, which isn’t technically true, because I went to the Potters’ beach house a couple weeks ago and I’m here now.” 

Lily frowned. “How is Sirius so bloody tan? All he and Mary seem to do is lay around his flat and shag, which doesn’t give you much sun as far as I can tell, and any time he’s out of his flat he’s wearing his leather jacket.”

“Oh, good point.” Remus thought for a moment. “I suppose it must be from all the time he and James spend playing Quidditch. He can’t play Quidditch in his jacket - it restricts his movement.” He rolled his eyes. “Merlin, why do I know things like that? Imagine how much easier studying would be if I didn’t have so much room in my brain taken up by absolute nonsense.”

“Speaking of studying, is that the Transfiguration textbook?” She nodded at the textbook in his lap and he grinned.

“I thought it would be a good opportunity to get some reading done.” He glanced over at the pool where James and Sirius now seemed to be plotting to overturn Mary’s float. “Don’t bring attention to it, though. I think James has some rule against academic reading in the pool area.”

She laughed. “Of course he does. What a prat.” James had now pulled himself onto a tube next to Mary to distract her while Sirius swam up from behind and flipped her float over, causing a flurry of shrieking, giggling, and splashing. Lily tried not to let her eyes linger on James’s flat stomach and lean, toned arms. _Bloody Quidditch muscles. Who knew they’re an actual thing?_ She turned her attention back to Remus, forcing her mind onto a safer subject. “James is letting me borrow the most amazing book - have you seen his dad’s collection in the library?”

Remus nodded. “Oh, yeah, it’s impressive, isn’t it? I’m not a potions person by any means, but I still spent ages in there the first time James showed it to me.” He gestured down at the book in his lap. “Have you done any of the Transfiguration reading yet? It’s actually really interesting.”

“Moony, what are you reading?” James and Sirius had stolen Mary’s float and had paddled over

to the section of the pool closest to Lily and Remus.

“Is that the bloody Transfiguration textbook?” Sirius demanded, leaning off the float to get a better look. “Moony, no. This is a fun day. That’s too much thinking.”

James sat up on the float and crossed his arms, fixing Remus with a disapproving glare. “There’s no school in my pool.”

Remus gestured at the pool deck around him. “Technically I’m not in your pool.”

James shook his head in exasperation. “Moony, the rule applies to the entire pool area and you bloody well know that.”

Remus ignored him and turned his attention back to the Transfiguration book. Sirius and James glanced at each other, then began splashing at the same time and did not relent until both Lily and Remus were drenched.

“That was rather rude,” Lily complained, wringing out her sodden hair. 

James shrugged. “Sorry, Evans. Moony should’ve obeyed the pool rules, and you should’ve known better than to sit next to him.”

Remus did not reply, but scowled at James and Sirius as he held up his dripping Transfiguration book and attempted to shake the water from its pages. 

“Ooh, should’ve used _Impervius,”_ Sirius said. “Don’t you know us by now, Moony?”

Remus continued to glare at both of them while he took his wand from his pocket and dried the soaked textbook, then stood and carried it into the pool house, leaving wet footprints on the concrete. When he returned carrying an inflatable raft under his arm he set it in the pool and maneuvered himself onto it, still fixing James and Sirius with a nasty look. 

“You’re both the absolute bloody worst, just so you know,” he said, pushing off from the side of the pool and floating over towards Peter. 

“We know,” Sirius said, grinning.

“Are you going to come in, Evans?” James asked. “You may as well, since you’re already drenched.” He patted his float. “You can share with me, if you like.”  
She eyed the float, frowning. “I don’t think all three of us will fit.”

“It’s fine, Evans, I can tell when I’m not wanted,” Sirius said, slipping off the float and under the water. He propelled himself across the pool emerging next to an unsuspecting Mary.

“All right then,” Lily said, getting to her feet and approaching the edge of the pool before fixing

James with a suspicious look. “You’re not going to push me into the water the second I get on here, are you?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be nice for a while. Unless you try to read a textbook, that is. Then all bets are off.”

She nodded and studied the float, trying to decide the best method of getting on that wouldn’t result in her falling into the water or looking like a complete idiot, or some combination of the two. She decided to sit on the edge of the pool and swing her body out over the float, which was mostly successful, although she did have to flail her arms in an undignified manner to maintain her balance.

“You good, Evans?” James asked, watching in amusement as she settled herself on the float.

“Shut up.” She lay on her stomach and hung her legs off the back of the float, then began to kick. 

“Help me get us over to Mary, will you?”

“Can do.” He hopped off the float and pulled it until the water reached his chin and he had to switch to pushing it and kicking his feet. When they reached Sirius and Mary, he pulled himself back up onto the float and grabbed the side of the pool to keep them from drifting away.

“Hello,” Mary said, turning her head to face them. Her damp curls were spread out across the 

float and she wore large sunglasses that dwarfed her face. “Ooh, I like that bathing suit. Is that new?”

“It is,” Lily replied. She smiled self-consciously as she adjusted one of the straps. “You like it? I wasn’t quite sure.”

“It looks really nice on you,” James said before clapping his hand over his mouth and turning red. “Sorry, I didn’t mean, er, I mean, I wasn’t looking, I just meant…” He ran a hand through his wet hair and avoided Lily’s eye. “I just meant it looks nice on you.”

Mary took one look at James’s mortified expression and began laughing so hard she almost fell off her float. Sirius smirked and gave him a thumbs-up, but Lily blushed and stopped fiddling with the strap of her top.

“It’s okay, I know what you meant. Thanks, Potter.” She poked her shoulder, peering at it to detect any hint of redness. “Will you tell me if I look like I’m burning?”

“Ooh, Potter, she’s giving you permission to ogle,” Mary said, winking at James.

Lily and James both spluttered incoherent protests while Mary and Sirius laughed at their discomfort.

“Quit torturing them, Macdonald,” Sirius said as he climbed onto her float and stretched out next to her. “That’s my job.”

“Black, this isn’t really a two person float.” She attempted to nudge him into the water, but he wrapped his arms around her and scooted closer.

“Is there a rule against shagging in the pool?” Lily asked. “And before you have a go at us, I’m not asking because I’m considering it, but because you two are basically on top of each other.”

James grinned. “Nope, shagging in the pool is permissible, although it’s common courtesy to do it when nobody else is around, because none of us want to see that.”

“Have you shagged anyone in here?” Mary asked. She had stopped trying to shove Sirius off the float and now had her head resting on his chest with her hair tickling his face as usual. 

Sirius brushed her curls out of his face and tugged on the strap of her swimsuit. “Not yet, but I’m not opposed to changing that.”

“I’ll flip that float if you start snogging, don’t think I won’t,” James warned.

“Hey, you lot want to do that thing where you jump off brooms into the pool?” Peter swam up to them and rested against the side of the pool. “I left Moony to float. He’s very relaxed.” He gestured across the pool where Remus lay on a float with his arm thrown over his face to block out the sun. His expression was peaceful as his float drifted slowly across the surface of the pool.

James glanced at Sirius. “Should we flip him?” 

Sirius studied Remus for a moment then shook his head. “Nah, we should let him relax for a bit. Give his brain a break, you know? That is why we splashed him in the first place.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” James slid off the float and swam over to the side of the pool to haul himself out. “All right, I’ll go get the brooms.”

“You’re not really going to jump off a broom into the pool, are you?” Lily asked. Somehow this did not seem like it should be allowed. “Is that safe?”

James grinned. “Course it is. Would we do something if it wasn’t safe?”

“You frequently do things that aren’t safe,” Mary pointed out, but James was already walking away to retrieve the brooms. He returned a few minutes later with six brooms thrown over his shoulder and deposited all but one of them onto an empty chair. 

“You own six brooms?” Lily gaped at him as he mounted his broom and came to hover above them, his feet just brushing the water. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“We have more than six, but these ones are the best ones.” He frowned and looked over at the pile of brooms. “Although that Cleansweep’s been acting up lately. Whoever takes that one, just be aware because it veers a bit to the right.”

“I won’t be needing one, so that’s all right,” Lily said, leaning back in the float and letting her eyes drift shut.

“What do you mean, you won’t be needing one?” James demanded. “We’re all doing it, Evans. Don’t be nervous, I’ll show you what to do. It really is perfectly safe.” He gestured with his hand. “Move over a bit so I have enough space. Pads, will you come up too to catch my broom?” He flew a bit higher so that he was hovering about ten feet above the water.

Sirius slid off the float and paddled over to the ladder, then climbed out and selected a broom from the pile before joining James in the air. Mary kicked off from the wall and propelled their float towards Remus, and after a moment Lily did the same. Peter hoisted himself out of the water and sat on the edge of the pool to watch. 

“Okay, ready?” James pulled himself up so that he was standing on his broom. He grinned and waved down at Lily. “All right Evans?” He waited another moment, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his back as he balanced on the broom before he jumped forward and tucked his arms around his knees, hurtling down and hitting the water with a large splash.

“Nice one, Prongs!” Sirius called from the air as he reached out to catch James’s broom and guided it down to the ground.

“That was pretty impressive,” Lily admitted, watching James pull himself out of the water and hop back on his broom to rejoin Sirius in the air. 

“Do that flip you did last time,” Peter urged, and a moment later Sirius was standing up on his broom and launching himself forward before executing a neat flip and stretching out his body to dive into the water. He emerged seconds later, grinning, then swam over to the side of the pool and pulled himself out.

“Thank you, thank you,” he said, acknowledging their applause and cheers with a pompous little bow. “Pete, do the belly flop.”

Peter scowled. “No, it bloody hurts, and I look like a complete prat doing it.”

“Come on, it’s hilarious. You’ve got to do it.” Sirius waited, tapping his fingers against his leg while his swim trunks dripped water onto the cement. “Merlin, Wormtail, are you going to make me beg?”

“Fine,” Peter said, sighing and climbing out of the pool. 

“Well, hang on, let me wake up Moony first,” Sirius said, diving into the water and swimming over to Remus’s float to sprinkle water on his face. Remus awoke a moment later, grumbling and pushing himself upright on the float.

Peter climbed onto the broom that James had flown down to hand him and flew up to hover over the pool. The broom tilted perilously as he struggled to balance on it, but he eventually managed it and gave everyone a thumbs up before pitching forward to land in the pool with a loud splat. The group laughed and cheered as he paddled to an abandoned float and clung to it, blushing but wearing a good-natured smile.

“Peter Penelope Pettigrew!” Sirius scolded. “Get your arse out of the pool so we can all see how red your stomach is. That is literally half the fun of watching a belly flop and I don’t understand why we have to go through this every bloody time.”

Peter sighed again but swam to the ladder and climbed out of the pool, then stood, exasperated, as everyone admired the impressive redness of his skin.

“You’ve got to do it now, Evans,” James urged, flying down to set Peter’s abandoned broom on the pool deck. “Sirius and I can show you what to do - it’s easy.”

“I don’t know…” She eyed the brooms doubtfully. “Can’t I just sit here on my float and watch you lot do it?”

“Nah, you’re not getting out of this. You’ll love it. Come on.” He waited for her to get out of the pool, then gestured for Sirius to join them. 

“Right, you’re going to sit on the back of Sirius’s broom,” he instructed her as he mounted his own broom. “Then once we’re in the air, I’ll help you stand up so you can jump, all right?”

Her expression remained skeptical, but she climbed on behind Sirius and held on as they returned to their spot in the air above the pool. 

“Okay, you’re going to want to swing your leg over and rest it on the broom, then I’ll pull you up so you can get your other foot down,” James said, taking his broom a bit higher so he was at the right level to assist her. 

She glanced down at the distance from the broom to the water. “What if I fall?” 

“Evans, you think I’d let you fall?” He ran a hand through his hair and grinned at her.

“All right, fine.” She made slow, tentative movements until her foot rested on the broom, then she accepted James’s outstretched hand and allowed him to pull her up. For a terrifying moment her foot met empty air until she found the broom and breathed a sigh of relief.

“See? I told you I wouldn’t let you fall.” James tried not to focus on her hands in his and instead enjoyed the mingled fear and exhilaration in her eyes. 

“I feel like I’m going to fall the second you let go.”

He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. “Nah, you won’t, but I’ll jump with you, if you like. Here, grab onto Padfoot’s head for a second while I stand up.”

“Sure, just manhandle my hair, Evans. Don’t mind me, I’m just here to aid in your broom jumping experience,” Sirius complained as she gripped his head and accidentally yanked on a hank of his hair.

“Oh, shut up,” she muttered. “At least I’m not getting handsy again.”

“What?” James yelped while Sirius roared with laughter.

“Never mind, just me giving Evans shit,” Sirius assured him, wincing as Lily tugged on his hair again.

James maneuvered himself until he was standing on his broom and hovering next to Lily. “Take my hand, and then we’ll jump together. Just make sure you jump forward a bit so you don’t hit the broom.”

She glanced over at him and smiled, then grasped his hand. “On three, then?”

He nodded. “On three.” They counted together, then jumped forward and rocketed down to the water, laughing and landing with a splash. 

“That was kind of brilliant,” she admitted as they paddled side-by-side to the edge of the pool and hoisted themselves up to sit with their legs dangling in the water. 

“Told you.” His eyes lingered on her for a moment, taking in the brightness of her eyes, the water beading up in her hair and rolling down her face, the slight sunburn on her shoulders. “You’re burning a bit.”

She poked her shoulder and grimaced. “Bloody hell. Will you put some on my back for me?” Without waiting for a response she stood and went to retrieve her towel that was draped across one of the lounge chairs, and James followed after a moment’s hesitation.

“Just put a bit on my back, do you mind?” she asked after drying off and pulling her hair out of the way. “And can you rub it under the straps a bit, just in case they move?”

“Yeah, all right.” James squeezed some sunscreen into his hand and began rubbing it on Lily’s shoulders, hoping Sirius and Mary were too busy snogging or splashing each other to notice and say something suggestive. His hands moved lower, and he couldn’t help but notice how soft her skin felt under his fingers, even as he mentally berated himself for thinking of this as anything other than a mundane task to help a friend.

“That’s probably good,” she said, and he pulled his hands away, wondering if she could tell how much he’d enjoyed those few moments of physical contact.

“Oi! We’re all jumping off the brooms!” Sirius called, and James and Lily exchanged a sideways glance before crossing the pool deck to join the rest of their friends.

They all agreed to do it once Sirius explained the “easy way” which involved sitting sideways on the brooms rather than standing up. After several false starts James counted to three and they all slid off the brooms, shrieking and laughing until they crashed into the water, creating such a big splash that the water reached the patio chairs. 

Afterwards Mary dragged Lily to the poolhouse loo with her while Peter went to see about some snacks, James and Sirius lounged on floats, and Remus slunk off to read his book again.

“You and James seem to be getting on well,” Mary said once the door had shut behind them.

Lily raised her eyebrows. “Did you bring me in here to interrogate me, or do you actually need the loo?”

“Both, but interrogating you is my first priority. Now I want to hear about last night.” She crossed her arms and leaned back against the sink, fixing Lily with a determined stare. “All the details, too. Don’t hold out on me.”

“Fine,” Lily sighed. She gave Mary a quick recap, trying to keep her tone and expression neutral even as the memories gave her a thrill of pure joy. When she fell silent, Mary gaped at her for a moment, her eyes wide with excitement.

“You almost kissed,” she said, a sly smile creeping over her face.

“Yes. Well, no. I dunno,” Lily stammered, blushing as she remembered the way his face had inclined towards her.

Mary rolled her eyes. “You almost kissed,” she repeated. “And you held hands. Twice.”

Lily smiled and bit her lip. She could still feel his fingers laced through hers, could still see the painfully hopeful expression on his face. “Yes. But we were also drunk. It didn’t mean… Well, I dunno what it meant.”

“It means you like each other, dumb dumb.” Mary shook her head in exasperation. “What else would it mean?”

 _You like each other._ Lily’s mind drifted, lingering on a memory that she hadn’t shared with Mary...

_Lily’s eyes fluttered open and she looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings, confused for a moment before the events of the previous night came flooding back. She pulled the blanket up over her face to block out the early morning light streaming through the window. The flat was still and silent, yet something had woken her. She peeked out from the blanket and looked down at the floor, but there was only a crumpled blanket and a flattened throw pillow. Frowning, she turned her head to look for James, then regretted this decision when the movement increased the dull thudding pain in her head._

_“Bloody hell,” she muttered, then fell silent when she heard the creak of a floorboard. Through half-closed lids she watched James tiptoe across the flat, dressed in running clothes and looking so awake and cheerful that it made Lily’s head hurt. He stopped, his eyes falling on her apparently sleeping form, and she clamped her eyes shut and made her breathing slow and even. She didn’t feel ready to talk to him yet, not after the night they had shared and the disastrous way it had ended._

_“Morning, Evans,” she heard him murmur, his voice so soft she could barely make out the words even though he stood only a foot away from her. He stood there without moving or speaking, and she felt a sudden powerful longing for him to bend down and kiss her. Where had this thought come from? She could not explain it, yet she lay there, hardly daring to breathe as she felt the irresistible magnetic pull between them. For a wild moment she thought he might actually do it, but then the moment evaporated and he simply tucked the blanket tighter around her and left the flat._

_“Bloody hell,” she repeated, staring out across the living room and taking deep breaths until her heartbeat returned to normal and she fell back into a fitful doze._

Mary’s voice startled her out of her reverie.“So what are you going to do?”

Lily blinked several times, trying to reorient herself with the present. “What do you mean, what am I going to do?” 

“I mean, are you going to finish what you started last night?” Mary examined her hair in the mirror and tugged a hand through a tangled section of curls. “You can’t just leave it like that and then not see him again until school. That’s just torturing the poor boy.”

Lily’s eyes widened in panic. “But what if - I dunno, that’s a lot of pressure. I feel like it has to happen naturally. I don’t want to force it - what if I mess it up?”

Mary laughed. “If your lips are making contact with James Potter’s, I don’t see how you could mess it up. You’d make his entire year even if it was the most awful kiss in the history of snogging.”

Lily’s expression grew even more anxious. “Oh no, what if it is awful?” She shook her head. “I can’t do this. It’s too stressful.”

Mary laughed and abandoned her attempts to tame her hair, turning back to face Lily. “Fine. You don’t have to do anything. Be sexually frustrated for a bit longer. What’s a few more weeks at this point?” She raised her eyebrows at Lily. “You two honestly baffle me, you know that? I couldn’t live my life that way, but carry on, because you seem to know what you’re doing. Now turn around, because I’m actually going to use the loo now.”

Back outside Sirius waited until Mary and Lily were safely out of earshot before turning to James, his face lit with interest.

“I’ve been dying to hear about last night all day. You have that look on your face, and you and Evans have a definite sexual tension today, so let’s hear it.” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the float, grinning.

James glanced over at the poolhouse to ensure Lily wasn’t peering around the corner to listen, then turned back to Sirius, his face breaking into a bright smile. “It was fucking brilliant, but you actually interrupted our moment, you prat.” He gave Sirius an abridged version of the previous night’s events, becoming more animated as he recalled just how close they had gotten before a combination of bad luck and the effects of alcohol had stalled them. 

“You’ve got to kiss her today, mate,” Sirius said when James finished describing their conversation in his bedroom. “If you don’t, and you don’t see each other again until school, you’ll lose all the momentum you built up last night and will have to start fresh.”

James ran a hand through his hair and considered this. “You think we have momentum?”

Sirius nodded. “Oh, yeah. You can just tell. There’s like, I dunno, an energy between you two. She’s definitely looking at you and picturing you naked.”

James shoved Sirius’s shoulder. “Shut the fuck up! No she’s bloody not.” True, he had perhaps allowed himself to imagine what she would look like without that green flowered bathing suit, but Lily seemed too prim, too respectable, to have such a filthy mind. 

“Well, either way, she definitely wants to snog you,” he said, shrugging. “The evidence is clear. You’ve got to make it happen, to keep things moving in the right direction with her, but also for your own bloody sanity, mate. It is possible to die from sexual frustration, you know.”  
“Oh, sod you, Padfoot, you idiot.” James rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. “What if I mess it up? Or what if it’s too soon and I’m rushing it?”

Sirius laughed. “You’ve been working up to this for ages. I don’t see how it could be too soon. Messing it up seems more likely, but honestly, it’s snogging. You kind of just figure it out - there’s not much thinking involved.” He draped his arm into the water and looked over at James as he thought. “I dunno, you’re the expert. If you feel like you’re rushing into it, don’t do it. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

James thought back to that morning right before he had left for his run. The moment was so clearly etched in his mind, yet he hadn’t mentioned it during either retelling…

_The ray of sunlight creeping through the window woke James, and he lay there for a moment, blinking and letting the memories from the previous night rush back to him. He glanced up at the sofa and saw Lily curled under her blanket, fast asleep with a peaceful expression on her face. He stood, taking care not to make any unnecessary noise, then padded across the flat to get some clothes from his bedroom. The dresser squeaked as he shut it, but Remus and Peter continued to snore, unperturbed. After changing in the loo he made his way to the door, pausing in front of the sofa. The way she was holding herself and the quality of her breathing made James think she was not actually asleep._

_“Morning, Evans,” he whispered, then waited for her eyes to flutter open and her face to split into a bright smile. When she only continued to lay there feigning sleep, he studied her, watching the rise and fall of her chest and listening to the soft sounds of her breathing. He felt a strong urge to lean down and kiss her, and as this thought occurred to him her lips seemed to part as if she too felt the same desire. The moment stretched out while he stood there, torn, and he nearly gave in until the thought of her waking up and shouting at him for being a creep held him back. Another moment passed as he allowed himself to play out the moment in his head, then he turned and left the flat. The memory of her parted lips haunted him through every mile of the run._

“Are you listening?” Sirius nudged James, snapping him back to the present. “Do you want me to go see if I can overhear them talking about you?”

“Merlin, Padfoot, how old are we?” James said, chuckling.

Sirius ignored his comment and nodded. “Right, I’m going to go for it, and if they catch me I’ll say I’m getting more floats or something.” He set off for the poolhouse, looking back over his shoulder to give James a thumbs up. 

Peter arrived a few minutes later, followed by two house elves carrying trays of sandwiches and butterbeers. Fleamont and Euphemia came out a few minutes later and took two empty lounge chairs, and they all sat around eating and laughing while Fleamont regaled them with a story of James’s early Quidditch days.

“And then he flew over to the referee and shouted, ‘That was blagging, sir, are you bloody blind?’” he said, chuckling. “Seven years old, can you believe it?”

“What, you’re not going to object to them telling this story?” Remus asked, raising his eyebrows at James.

James finished his Butterbeer and shook his head. “Nah, that story isn’t embarrassing, it’s brilliant.”

“That story does not surprise me at all,” Lily said. She leaned back in her chair, feeling warm and content as the afternoon sun shone down on them and a light breeze plucked at her hair. “But what’s blagging?”

James shook his head. “You have a lot to learn, Evans. Don’t worry, if you stick around I’ll make you a Quidditch expert in no time.” He shot her a reassuring grin before launching into a detailed definition of blagging.

After they all finished eating, Fleamont and Euphemia left them to enjoy the pool while James disappeared into the pool house and returned with an armful of pool noodles.

“I forgot about those,” Peter said, then ducked out of the way as James aimed a whack at him with one of the noodles.  
“Pool noodle chicken?” Sirius asked, taking a noodle from James.

“I don’t think I like the sound of pool noodle chicken,” Lily said, watching Sirius thump James on the back with his noodle.

“Neither do I,” Mary said. 

“Come on, it’s loads of fun,” James said as he smacked Sirius on the head with his noodle, then jumped in the pool before Sirius could retaliate. “We can do three on three - every man for himself. Everyone grab a noodle and get in here - you too, Moony, don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to sneak off to read that damn textbook. ”

“I wasn’t sneaking,” Remus protested, but he selected a noodle and slid into the pool anyway, and everyone else followed suit.

Sirius tugged on one of Mary’s curls and grinned. “You want to be my partner, Macdonald?” 

She poked him with her pool noodle. “Is that just an excuse for you to grope me?”

“Nah, I think you’ll be surprisingly good at chicken,” Sirius said. “Groping you is just an added bonus.”

She nodded. “Fair enough,” she said, before maneuvering herself onto his shoulders and reaching down with her noodle to tap him lightly on the head.

Remus and Peter looked at each other and shrugged, then Peter sunk down so Remus could climb onto his shoulders. James glanced over at Lily, trying to keep his expression neutral. 

“Guess you’re stuck with me, Evans,” he said, running a hand through his damp hair and gesturing at the rest of their friends, already paired up and ready for the game.

“Guess so,” she said, smiling at him in a way that filled him with hope. “Try not to drop me, yeah?” 

He helped her onto his shoulders and tried to focus on anything besides her smooth legs under his hands and the warmth of her body on his. “Now, make sure you’re ruthless, Evans. There’s no mercy in pool noodle chicken.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” she said, laughing. “I can’t hit Remus. He’s too nice!”

“Nah, he can be a real tosser,” Sirius said. “Don’t let that innocent face fool you.”

Remus grinned. “It’s okay, Lily, you can hit me. You don’t have to feel bad about it.”

“I notice you don’t feel bad about hitting me,” Mary pointed out. “I was going to go easy on you, but now you’d better look out, Lil.” She brandished her noodle, then whipped it around and brought it down on Lily’s head.

“Good effort, Macdonald, but you’re supposed to wait ‘till we say go,” Sirius said, laughing at the startled expression on Lily’s face.

“Okay, everyone ready?” James looked around at the others, then glanced back over his shoulder. “You ready, Evans?” She nodded and held her noodle up. “Go!”

At first the three of them stared at each other, each waiting to see if the others would make the first move. Then Mary muttered “Fuck it” and reached out to slap Remus with her noodle. He dodged to the side before striking back, but he swung too hard and hit Lily as well, which drew her into the fray. It deteriorated quickly into chaos with limbs and noodles flying everywhere and shouts of indignance and triumph from all of them. 

After a few minutes Peter lost his balance and both he and Remus went toppling into the water. They hopped out of the water and sat on the edge of the pool to watch Lily and Mary battle it out. 

“Pull her top off if you have to, Macdonald!” Sirius urged.

Mary and Lily both ignored him, but James blushed and froze for a moment, letting go of Lily’s legs. The brief lapse in concentration was enough for Mary to get in a couple good hits with the noodle and a clincher of a shove that sent Lily tumbling into the water to land with a splash.

“That wasn’t fair, Padfoot,” James complained. “What a cheap, unchivalrous tactic.”

Sirius laughed. “Unchivalrous my arse. I didn’t actually do anything to her bathing suit top, and neither did Macdonald. Did we, Evans?”

Lily wrung out her dripping hair and shook her head, blushing. “No, you didn’t,” she replied, not meeting James’s eye. “I suppose they did it because they knew it would distract you.”

Mary and Sirius looked at each other and smirked, and James continued to glare at them, but he made no further argument. 

“No need to look so put out, Potter,” Mary said, pushing her soaked curls out of her face. “You want to go again? Me and Lily against you two?”

Sirius frowned. “I dunno, Macdonald, you sure you’re up for that?” 

“We’re pretty unstoppable together,” James added, moving to stand next to Sirius.

“You’ve got this!” Remus called. “Take them down a notch, they’ve been insufferable since the last time we played this bloody game.” Peter seemed unable to decide who to root for, so he remained silent.

“We’re not afraid to take you on,” Lily said, climbing onto Mary’s shoulders and arming herself with a noodle. “Bring it on, boys.”

“You’re going down, Black,” Mary added, flashing him a defiant look.

Sirius and James glanced at each other and shrugged, then Sirius sunk down so James could get onto his shoulders. “Suit yourselves,” Sirius said as he handed James a noodle. “Best of luck.”

James and Lily stared each other down for a minute as Mary and Sirius moved in a slow circle, trying to force the other to make the first move. 

“Are you afraid you’ll upset me if you hit me?” Lily asked, feinting at James and chuckling as he flinched away.

“‘Course not.” He struck at her with his noodle but she deflected it, wobbling on Mary’s shoulders but managing to hold on. “I’m afraid I’ll upset you when I beat you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Potter.” She swung her noodle around and slapped him on the arm. “I can handle losing at your silly pool game. Except I’m not going to lose, and I’m not sure _you_ can handle that.” She aimed another hit at him which he blocked and returned, and then the game turned into a furious whirl of brightly-colored foam, punctuated by the slaps of the blows that landed. 

After a minute they had both somehow lost their noodles and had to resort to the more traditional chicken fight methods. With their hands locked together they tried to push each other over, but neither made much headway.

“Give up, Potter,” she said, grunting with effort as she struggled to knock him over, coming up against stubborn resistance.

“You give up, Evans.” He fought back, exerting all his strength, but somehow she maintained her balance and flashed a taunting grin at him.

“And have you brag about beating me for the rest of the day?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.” 

James glanced down at Sirius, who nodded and gave him a thumbs up. “Right, guess I’ll have to play dirty.” He released one of her hands and began tickling her, causing her to emit shrieks of protest. She tried to push him over again, but she was squirming around so much that she had no chance of budging him. Desperate for the tickling to stop, she grabbed his hand and yanked it away from her body, unintentionally dragging both of them into the water.

“That was a bold move, Evans,” James remarked as he helped her up and shook the water out of his face. 

“Tickling me was a bold move,” she argued, laughing and adjusting her bathing suit top. “How did you know I was ticklish?”

He shrugged. “Lucky guess.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you ticklish?”

He grinned and ran a hand through his hair. “I dunno. Am I?” 

After a moment of charged silence she lunged at him and began tickling fiercely while he attempted to pry her hands away. When he only managed to grab one of her hands he switched tactics, tickling her back until they were both giggling and thrashing around in the water while the others looked on in amusement. Eventually Lily held up her hands in surrender, laughing so hard she had to catch her breath before she could speak.

“Truce?” she gasped, wiping away tears of laughter mingled with pool water. “We’ve got to stop, I can’t breathe.”  
“Truce,” James agreed, his arms now wrapped around his torso in case this was all a diversionary tactic and she came at him again. “Merlin, Evans.” 

She grinned and once again adjusted her bathing suit. “You started it.”

“Don’t stop on our account,” Sirius called, whistling and giving James a thumbs up.

“Yes, by all means, keep going if you like,” Mary added. She shot Lily a knowing look and winked at James. “It’s very fun to watch.”

James and Lily both glanced at each other then looked away, blushing. 

“I think I’ll go sit in the sun for a bit,” she said, turning and making her way to the side of the pool.

James grabbed for the nearest pool noodle and plunged it into the water, then put his mouth to the hole in the center and blew a stream of water in Sirius’s direction, desperate to wipe the smug expressions from his friends’ faces. Sirius retaliated, and soon Peter joined in while Remus and Mary escaped to the safety of the lounge chairs, not eager to have jets of pool water blasted in their faces.

“They’re such idiots,” Remus said, his expression a mixture of exasperation and affection as he stretched out on the chair next to Lily.

“This one doesn’t seem to think so,” Mary remarked, nodding at Lily as she fished Sirius’s cigarettes from his pocket and retreated to the far side of the pool deck to smoke.

Lily did not reply, but kept her gaze fixed on a wet footprint on the cement as she tried to think about anything besides James’s taut stomach under her hands and his fingers on her waist. Even now she could feel the closeness of their bodies and she fought to keep her breathing under control, sure everyone could see the effect he was having on her.

“How’s Transfiguration?” she asked, seizing on any opportunity to distract herself.

Remus looked up from the book. His eyes conveyed understanding, yet he did not comment on her flushed cheeks or elevated breathing. Instead he began discussing the chapter in detail, and Lily clung to his words, grateful for the complex theoretical ideas that drove all thoughts of James Potter from her head.

“Evans! Come back in!” he called after a moment, and the sound of his voice summoned her feverish thoughts once again. “What, are you afraid to get splashed?” He sent a small jet of water her way, but it landed at the foot of her chair and only splattered her with a few water droplets.

“Macdonald, are you smoking one of my cigarettes?” Sirius shouted. “You didn’t even ask if I’d like to join you!”

Mary strode across the pool deck to the cluster of chairs where Remus and Lily sat, intent on retorting but not keen on shouting across the entire pool area. 

“Would you like to join me?” she asked, smirking at him before taking a drag on her cigarette. 

He swam to the edge of the pool, but before he could climb out Peter aimed an ill-timed spurt of water at James, soaking him and knocking his glasses into the pool. James’s attention had been focused on flirting with Lily, so he didn’t notice where the attack had come from and assumed it had been Sirius.

“We called a timeout, Padfoot, you tosser!” he shouted, groping around for the noodle and blasting Sirius with water. Without his glasses his aim was atrocious, so he swung the noodle wide to ensure some of the water would hit Sirius. Instead, he drenched both Remus and Mary while Sirius pulled himself out of the pool and helped himself to a cigarette, enjoying his friends’ reactions.

“Bloody hell, that’s the second time today!” Remus fumed, holding up his soaked book and brandishing it at James. 

“And you ruined my cigarette, you arsehole!” Mary held up her soggy cigarette and glared at James.

“I didn’t even splash you, mate,” Sirius said. He took a drag on his cigarette, then tossed the box to Mary when she turned her glare on him. 

“Yes you bloody did,” James argued. “You knocked my glasses off and everything.” 

Peter dove down under the water to retrieve James’s glasses then handed them to him, his face a picture of innocence. “Here you go, Prongs.”

Realization spread over Sirius’s face. “You idiot, it was Wormtail who splashed you!” He laughed at the sheepish expression on Peter’s face. “That was fucking excellent, Pete, look at the havoc you’ve wreaked.” He gestured at Remus and Mary, both still soaked and wearing grumpy expressions.

“I didn’t mean to,” Peter said, his tone anxious as he waited for James’s reaction. “It just sort of happened that way.”

James shrugged and clapped Peter on the shoulder. “It’s all right, Wormtail, I suppose I deserved that.” He turned to Lily and raised his eyebrows. “How’d you manage to avoid getting wet, Evans?”

“I’m not sure she did,” Mary muttered, nudging Sirius and smirking.

“I heard that, Macdonald,” James protested, avoiding Lily’s eye. “Careful, or I’ll ruin your second cigarette.”

They swam until the last rays of sunlight had faded and the air became chilly. Admitting defeat, they all dragged themselves out of the water and sat on the lounge chairs to dry off, wrapped in towels and clinging to the last remnants of the day.

“I suppose I should be getting back soon,” Lily said, although she desperately wanted to stay. The idea of not seeing James again until they returned to Hogwarts filled her with an unexplainable gloom, and she pulled her towel tighter around herself, hoping someone would suggest another activity and prolong the visit.

“Me too,” Peter sighed. “I hate to go, but my mum will kill me if I’m not home soon.” He stood and gathered his things, then waved goodbye before Apparating with a loud crack.

“I should probably get back so I can go to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. I have to work a bloody early shift tomorrow.” She stood and tucked her towel around herself. “If any of you are gone when I come back, thanks for a fucking excellent birthday, and I’ll see you at school,” she added, throwing her bag over her shoulder and waving before heading off to the pool house to change.

“Will you come back after you drop her off, Padfoot?” James asked. He was stretched out on his chair with his arms folded behind his head, sneaking sideways glances at Lily and hoping she would somehow find an excuse to stay longer. 

Sirius lit a cigarette and took a long drag, blowing the smoke away from the group before replying. “I might, I might not. It depends.”  
James grinned. “You mean it depends if Macdonald wants to go back to your flat and shag?”

“Yup, pretty much,” Sirius said, nodding and grinning back at him. 

“I’ll stay if you like,” Remus said. He had already changed, and his jumper appeared out of place among the bright beach towels and lounge chairs and the pool noodles and floats scattered around them. “I don’t have anything going on tomorrow, and my parents don’t care one way or the other.”

“Excellent.” James gathered his courage and looked over at Lily. “What do you think, Evans, fancy staying? We can have a study session and power through some homework. I’ll have the house elves bring us some snacks, and we can have Remus scold us if we get distracted.” He kept his tone casual, but his eyes were fixed on her face, longing to hear her assent or see her head incline in a nod of agreement.

She hesitated for several moments, imagining an evening spent sprawled next to James on his bed with a textbook propped open between them while Remus sat on the sofa, huddled over an essay and smiling at their thinly-veiled flirtations. She longed to say yes, to extend their time together and explore where the night might lead them, but then she remembered her parents and shook her head.

“I can’t,” she said, her tone full of regret as she saw the eager anticipation in James’s face flicker and turn to disappointment. “My parents are expecting me, and I don’t have a way of contacting them. Besides, I didn’t bring any of my textbooks.” She stood and began to gather up her things, 

“All right, that’s fair.” James studied her face, soaking up the last few moments with her before he had to make do with daydreams and letters every few days. “Well, it’s been brilliant. I’m really glad you came.” He reached under his chair and grabbed her bottle of sunscreen, then stood up to hand it to her, wondering if he could get away with hugging her goodbye.

“Me too.” She slipped the sunscreen into her bag and smiled at him, wishing he would close the gap between them. “It was so much fun. The most fun I’ve had all summer, really.”

“Wait, don’t forget that book!” He took his wand from his pocket and Summoned the book she had left in his bedroom, handing it to her with a shy smile.

“Thanks,” she said, placing it in her bag without tearing her eyes away from him.

They stood there, gazing at each other while Sirius stared down at his cigarette and Remus pretended to read his book, but neither of them moved, and eventually Lily sighed and slipped her bag over her shoulder. “Well, I’ll see you all in a couple of weeks, I suppose.”

James nodded, struggling to keep his expression neutral as his brain shouted at him for failing to take advantage of the opportunity. “I'll look for the shiny Head Girl badge.”

She chuckled and shook her head. “I don’t know about that.” She looked at him for a moment longer, then turned away. “Write to me, Potter” she said, before Apparating with a soft pop and leaving the three boys alone on the pool deck in the growing darkness.

“Did I miss anything?” Mary asked. She had returned from the pool house and stood leaning against Sirius’s lounge chair, now clad in a red leather jacket and black shorts instead of her skimpy bathing suit. 

“Yeah, a lot of longing gazes and sexually-charged silence,” Sirius said, smirking at James.

“Shut up,” James muttered. He sat down on his chair and ran a hand through his hair, replaying the last five minutes in his head and wondering if he had screwed up or made the right call.

“Well that’s a bit of a letdown, but maybe it’s better that way. Keep her wanting more, you know?” She strolled over to James’s chair and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “It’s all right, Potter, you did really well today.” 

He brightened. “You think so?”

“Oh, yeah. I mean, you saw the way she was looking at you all day. We all saw it.”

“How was she looking at me, exactly?” James asked, no longer bothering to keep his tone nonchalant.

Sirius ground out his cigarette on the cement. “Like she wanted to tear your swimsuit off and shag you,” he said.

Mary laughed. “That’s not exactly how I’d put it, but it is pretty accurate.” She raised her eyebrows at Sirius. “Speaking of shagging, are you about ready to go?”

Sirius stood and slipped on his jacket, then smirked at Remus and James. “Guess I’m out of here.”

  
“I assume this means we won’t be seeing you later, then?” James asked.

“Apparently not.” Sirius draped an arm around Mary and began heading across the pool deck towards the path to the house. “See you tossers soon, and have fun studying!” he called.

Remus and James grinned at each other.

“Fucking Padfoot,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“Fucking Padfoot,” James agreed.

Remus frowned, studying James’s expression. “You look sad,” he observed.

James mulled this over, trying to decide how he felt. “I’m not sad, exactly,” he said after a moment. “I’m just…” His voice trailed off and he shrugged.

“That’s fair,” Remus said, nodding. He stood and offered James a hand up. “Want to go find some snacks, then we can sit around your room and analyze the events of the last 24 hours until we’re both so tired of talking about it we’ll switch to doing homework just to give our brains a break?”

“Yeah, all right,” James said, allowing Remus to pull him to his feet. “But we’re definitely going to need firewhisky as well.”

Remus grimaced. “I just barely got over my hangover from last night, but all right, fine. This is going to interfere with the switching to studying part of the plan, however.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point,” James admitted, heading for the house and already counting down the days until September 1st.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The night out for Mary's birthday mentioned in the last chapter can be found here, in the last two chapter of my other fic Come On, Macdonald: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704399/chapters/70375926


End file.
